Tip Jar at Open Bar--An Employee Perspective

Knottie67124481

Hey!

I've recently come across these boards and their extremely strong feelings toward a tip jar being placed at an open bar. I work in the wedding industry and at just about every open bar (wedding or not), I've seen a tip jar. It has never crossed my mind that this might be rude. I totally understand it though. Maybe it's a regional thing? I live in the southeast. 

Do you consider it to be rude? Have you ever seen one at a wedding you attended and what were your thoughts?

I appreciate the fact that people pointed out the fact that this is against etiquette--this helps me immensely when planning my wedding because I wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

Jen4948

It's rude, because the hosts of the wedding are supposed to pay for all the costs and not pass any on to the guests. That includes gratuities. By putting out a tip jar, you imply to the guests that they owe you a tip when they shouldn't have to even open their wallets.

It applies across the board and is not "regional."

Maggie0829

What Jen said.

AddieCake

Guests should never have to nor feel pressured to give money for anything at a wedding.

huskypuppy14

Knottie67124481 said:

Hey!

I've recently come across these boards and their extremely strong feelings toward a tip jar being placed at an open bar. I work in the wedding industry and at just about every open bar (wedding or not), I've seen a tip jar. It has never crossed my mind that this might be rude. I totally understand it though. Maybe it's a regional thing? I live in the southeast. 

Do you consider it to be rude? Have you ever seen one at a wedding you attended and what were your thoughts?

I appreciate the fact that people pointed out the fact that this is against etiquette--this helps me immensely when planning my wedding because I wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

I used to work at a restaurant that had a private room for small weddings or corporate parties, or whatnot. The rule was never have a tip jar for open bars. Only if the bar was cash. The reason was we were adding on the tip to the final bill if there were more than 6 people anyway. It makes the bartenders look greedy, because the tip should come from the host who is paying for the bar. If you (the venue) don't include gratuity on your open bars, that is your problem, not the guests.

lyndausvi

huskypuppy14 said:

Knottie67124481 said:

Hey!

I've recently come across these boards and their extremely strong feelings toward a tip jar being placed at an open bar. I work in the wedding industry and at just about every open bar (wedding or not), I've seen a tip jar. It has never crossed my mind that this might be rude. I totally understand it though. Maybe it's a regional thing? I live in the southeast. 

Do you consider it to be rude? Have you ever seen one at a wedding you attended and what were your thoughts?

I appreciate the fact that people pointed out the fact that this is against etiquette--this helps me immensely when planning my wedding because I wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

I used to work at a restaurant that had a private room for small weddings or corporate parties, or whatnot. The rule was never have a tip jar for open bars. Only if the bar was cash. The reason was we were adding on the tip to the final bill if there were more than 6 people anyway. It makes the bartenders look greedy, because the tip should come from the host who is paying for the bar. If you (the venue) don't include gratuity on your open bars, that is your problem, not the guests.

We were not allowed to put a tip jar out when I worked for open bars.      When I worked at a luxury resort it was against policy to solicit tips (not sure if that is still the case), so even for cash bars (wedding or otherwise) there was no tip jar either.

I think tip jars at open bars are very tacky.    That said, a lack of a tip jar has never stopped people from tipping.  DH tips at open bars, so do most of my friends (all in the food and beverage industry).  They just hand it to the bartender, no jar needed.

I currently work part-time for a tip free club.   So again, no tip jar.  People still tip us by leaving it on the bar.  The policy is to say "thank you, but we are a tip free club" or in the case of a weddings "thank you, but the hosts have taken care of us".  If they insist and/or leave it on the bar we can take it.   Thought process is not to argue or insult the guest over a tip.   We said it wasn't necessary, but if they insist then we can take it. 

Maggie0829

lyndausvi said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Knottie67124481 said:

Hey!

I've recently come across these boards and their extremely strong feelings toward a tip jar being placed at an open bar. I work in the wedding industry and at just about every open bar (wedding or not), I've seen a tip jar. It has never crossed my mind that this might be rude. I totally understand it though. Maybe it's a regional thing? I live in the southeast. 

Do you consider it to be rude? Have you ever seen one at a wedding you attended and what were your thoughts?

I appreciate the fact that people pointed out the fact that this is against etiquette--this helps me immensely when planning my wedding because I wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

I used to work at a restaurant that had a private room for small weddings or corporate parties, or whatnot. The rule was never have a tip jar for open bars. Only if the bar was cash. The reason was we were adding on the tip to the final bill if there were more than 6 people anyway. It makes the bartenders look greedy, because the tip should come from the host who is paying for the bar. If you (the venue) don't include gratuity on your open bars, that is your problem, not the guests.

We were not allowed to put a tip jar out when I worked for open bars.      When I worked at a luxury resort it was against policy to solicit tips (not sure if that is still the case), so even for cash bars (wedding or otherwise) there was no tip jar either.

I think tip jars at open bars are very tacky.    That said, a lack of a tip jar has never stopped people from tipping.  DH tips at open bars, so do most of my friends (all in the food and beverage industry).  They just hand it to the bartender, no jar needed.

I currently work part-time for a tip free club.   So again, no tip jar.  People still tip us by leaving it on the bar.  The policy is to say "thank you, but we are a tip free club" or in the case of a weddings "thank you, but the hosts have taken care of us".  If they insist and/or leave it on the bar we can take it.   Thought process is not to argue or insult the guest over a tip.   We said it wasn't necessary, but if they insist then we can take it. 

This is how our wedding venue was.  I know that a few of our friends tipped the bartender at our wedding (found that out after the fact).  I typically tip at open bars (regardless of the event) because it is just my way of thanking them for taking care of me.  In fact, I usually throw down a $10 or $20 when I or H goes to get our first drinks and call it good the rest of the night.

But tip jars just look greedy.  Just like people know that money is a good gift without it being stated, people know that tipping is a nice thing to do without having a jar shoved in their face.

MyNameIsNot

Knottie67124481 said:

Hey!

I've recently come across these boards and their extremely strong feelings toward a tip jar being placed at an open bar. I work in the wedding industry and at just about every open bar (wedding or not), I've seen a tip jar. It has never crossed my mind that this might be rude. I totally understand it though. Maybe it's a regional thing? I live in the southeast. 

Do you consider it to be rude? Have you ever seen one at a wedding you attended and what were your thoughts?

I appreciate the fact that people pointed out the fact that this is against etiquette--this helps me immensely when planning my wedding because I wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

I too live in the southeast. It is considered quite rude to have a tip jar out at a hosted event here, because it implies that the host is not covering that part of the event. 

I worked in an banquet space that hosts private events in college. We did weddings along with bat/bar mitzvahs, company events, and so on. The venue did not have a rule about tip jars, but we were tipped through a service fee that the hosts had to pay. On occasion, hosts would let us put a tip jar out.

Even at 22 years old, we knew it was rude. We didn't care if the hosts looked rude. We cared about paying our rent, and we thought we'd make more money if we implied that we weren't being tipped by the hosts.

SP29

Yes, rude as it either implies the hosts aren't covering the tip (which they should), or the bartender is being greedy and "double dipping".

I have seen a tip jar out at a couple of weddings (one was fully hosted, one wasn't). Honestly, it made me feel uncomfortable- like *I* should feel guilty for not tipping the bartender, even at a fully hosted event.

I will also echo that just because a tip jar isn't out, doesn't mean people can't tip if they are so inclined. The last wedding we were at was fully hosted, no tip jar. The bartender was freaking awesome though. DH and I drank our fill throughout the night, but at the end of the night DH tipped the bartender, even though I let him know the tip was taken care of. He was just genuinely impressed with the level of service and personality given by said bartender.

TrixieJess

Knottie67124481 said:

Hey!

I've recently come across these boards and their extremely strong feelings toward a tip jar being placed at an open bar. I work in the wedding industry and at just about every open bar (wedding or not), I've seen a tip jar. It has never crossed my mind that this might be rude. I totally understand it though. Maybe it's a regional thing? I live in the southeast. 

Do you consider it to be rude? Have you ever seen one at a wedding you attended and what were your thoughts?

I appreciate the fact that people pointed out the fact that this is against etiquette--this helps me immensely when planning my wedding because I wouldn't have thought twice about it. 

I've bartended at weddings and put tip jars away because I know that the B&G were going to tip out at the end of the night or afternoon. Guess what, there always seems to be a tip jar floating around on the bar no matter how diligent you try to keep one off. I've even had people out and out just hand me money. 

I would never put out a tip jar at my wedding and I wouldn't tip at an open bar at a wedding. However, I wouldn't side-eye a tip jar because you don't necessarily know who put it there.

southernbelle0915

Yes, it's rude. The hosts are supposed to pay gratuity. 

Every venue we looked at had a bar that included gratuity in the contract. So a tip jar would really have just be soliciting extra money from guests who don't know what the contract looks like and that gratuity is already included. Tacky and sleezy. 

novella1186

I think tip jars are super tacky. We paid the bartenders at our wedding a much higher rate in exchange for NOT putting a tip jar on the bar. 

Everything was hosted/provided to our guests at no cost to them, and that included tipping vendors. 

I even got slightly annoyed at a GM because he tipped our trolley driver after I had already (very generously) tipped her. I didn't mind at all that she got the extra money because she was an awesome driver, but the reason the GM tipped her is cuz he assumed H and I hadn't, and that's what annoyed me. It insulted my hosting abilities. 

traditionallyuntraditional

Our venue asked if they could we said NO. If someone wants to tip they will jar or not. I've never seen a tip jar at a bar where there is no event it's always laid on the bar or put on the tab so to see one at a properly hosted wedding would be totally bizarre for me.

Denise40

I had it put in my bartenders contract that no tip jar is to be put on either of the 2 bars. I put that we would pay the tip ourselves at the end of the night or sometime before the end.

MnHGirl

I find it rude and see it at many weddings.

For our wedding we are already paying 15% gratuity on all food and drinks and will more then likely tip more (if everything goes well)... they are just double dipping. 

flbride2015

Plus, a lot of guests don't carry cash to weddings. Having worked in the service industry, I'm big on tipping, so if I'm at a wedding and there's a tip jar, I'll feel like a jerk for ordering a drink and not tipping because I don't have cash. It makes me feel shitty and uncomfortable. You shouldn't ever put your guests in that position.

emmaaa

What PPs said.

FTR, I live in NC and  when DH and I have gone to weddings that were open bar, we always took a little cash to tip the bartenders. Thye never once had a tip jar out. Most of the time they responded by saying that they were already tipped by the host. We just wanted to give them a little extra.