Registry and Gift Forum

Not opening gifts at the shower?

I don't have a registry, and everyone who is invited to my shower knows we are saving for a large home project. From the people who have talked to my mom, it's sounding like they'll be giving cash or Home Depot gift cards. Because of this, would it be rude to NOT open anything at the shower? I'd feel funny just opening cards in front of everyone. Not only is it boring but I wouldn't want any guests to feel awkward with others seeing how much they gave. There may be a few box gifts but I'd prefer to open those afterward, so those who brought cards don't feel funny. How would you handle it?

Re: Not opening gifts at the shower?

  • If you didn't register,you really shouldn't have a shower, (unless it's a recipe shower, entertainment shower, lingerie shower, etc) and you need to open the gifts at the shower if you do have one.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • I don't have a registry, and everyone who is invited to my shower knows we are saving for a large home project. From the people who have talked to my mom, it's sounding like they'll be giving cash or Home Depot gift cards. Because of this, would it be rude to NOT open anything at the shower? I'd feel funny just opening cards in front of everyone. Not only is it boring but I wouldn't want any guests to feel awkward with others seeing how much they gave. There may be a few box gifts but I'd prefer to open those afterward, so those who brought cards don't feel funny. How would you handle it?
    The bolded is exactly why you shouldn't be having a shower at all.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • If you don't want to open boxed gifts, don't have a shower.
  • If you don't want physical gifts, you should decline the shower.

    Either create a registry or decline the shower. A shower for cash is very rude. 
  • You should not be having a shower. 
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2015
    That sounds like the most boring, gift grabby shower ever (and I think showers as is are boring anyway, so that's saying A LOT).  Sorry.  The entire point of the shower is to literally shower you with gifts - as in physical boxed gifts.  You should have declined the shower if you didn't want physical boxed gifts and just wanted money.  Then people could just save their time instead of attending an event where the person of honor isn't even going to do the thing that the event is intended to do and just hand you a card with a check at the wedding.

    I'd either cancel the shower or start at least a small registry, but showers are not intended for cash and gift cards. 
  • There will probably be some people bringing boxed gifts anyways, which you should open at the shower. For one of my showers there were a lot of gifts that were just cards, that had either cash of gift cards in them.  What I did was read all the cards (I did, not a bridesmaid) out loud and thank the person if they were there for the gift. I kept the amount to myself and did this after I was done of the boxed gifts.
    Just don't forget the thank you cards afterward, and a lot a people will probably consider a check/gift card as both a shower and a wedding gift so don't be surprised if you don't get as many checks/gift cards after the wedding.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • There will probably be some people bringing boxed gifts anyways, which you should open at the shower. For one of my showers there were a lot of gifts that were just cards, that had either cash of gift cards in them.  What I did was read all the cards (I did, not a bridesmaid) out loud and thank the person if they were there for the gift. I kept the amount to myself and did this after I was done of the boxed gifts.
    Just don't forget the thank you cards afterward, and a lot a people will probably consider a check/gift card as both a shower and a wedding gift so don't be surprised if you don't get as many checks/gift cards after the wedding.

    I can't imagine reading cards out loud. I would also be horrified if someone read what I wrote in someone's card out loud. I put a lot of thought into the cards I pick out for people and what i write in them, so I'm very self conscious about it. I'm cringing as I type this picturing someone reading something I wrote to someone privately out loud.
  • There is always something you can use and put on a registry.  If you are saving to do a major home project and canceling the shower is not an option, you can register for tools etc through amazon, sears wal-mart etc. Think about the project.  What will you need to complete the project?  Tools? Nails? It seems silly, but it will help. What will you need when the project is done?  Chances are, the space will need something to add to the new fresh feel.  Is it a bathroom? Maybe register for towels, shower curtain, organizing baskets, robes etc.  Is it an entertaining space? Register for entertaining ware.  Is it a kitchen? Register for a couple extra dishes of what you already have.  Will your cookware need to be replaced anytime soon?  Is it an outdoor space that will benefit greatly from a grill?  What are your FI's thoughts?  Is there something he would want?  My FI and I both have inherited entertaining heirlooms.  We registered for some items that we could pass onto our children and grandchildren.

    If all else fails, register for your honeymoon.
  • There is always something you can use and put on a registry.  If you are saving to do a major home project and canceling the shower is not an option, you can register for tools etc through amazon, sears wal-mart etc. Think about the project.  What will you need to complete the project?  Tools? Nails? It seems silly, but it will help. What will you need when the project is done?  Chances are, the space will need something to add to the new fresh feel.  Is it a bathroom? Maybe register for towels, shower curtain, organizing baskets, robes etc.  Is it an entertaining space? Register for entertaining ware.  Is it a kitchen? Register for a couple extra dishes of what you already have.  Will your cookware need to be replaced anytime soon?  Is it an outdoor space that will benefit greatly from a grill?  What are your FI's thoughts?  Is there something he would want?  My FI and I both have inherited entertaining heirlooms.  We registered for some items that we could pass onto our children and grandchildren.

    If all else fails, register for your honeymoon.
    God, you were doing so well until that last sentence.  Do NOT register for a honeymoon.
  • This would be one of the most awkward showers ever for you and your guests... please make sure to provide the popcorn for the horrible entertainment they are about to endure.


    and lurkers NO HONEYMOON FUND. EVER.

  • If you are doing a home project, register on amazon.  We just bought a house and I've already put a weed wacker on my amazon registry, along with yard clippers and some other tools.  If we were redoing the kitchen sooner, I would have registered for a new faucet, maybe a butcher block- but we actually have items we desparately need.  But Amazon has everything you can think of and I know I always prefer to give a physical gift at the shower.  I have been to a shower where the registry is extremely small (and it made me think the bride was expecting cash) and I have to admit, it was a bit of a turnoff.  I ended up buying her an amazon giftcard.  Don't read cards outloud.  I would just open them, read them to yourself and thank the person outloud- and don't mention the gift outloud.  
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