Dear Prudence,
I am a woman in my 60s with two wonderful children: a 35-year-old daughter, married for 10 years with two delightful children, and a son, who is 29. My son has Down syndrome. He does not live with me because of finances. “George” is moderately mentally impaired. He has a temper (not violent) and is not good at sharing. My problem is with my son-in-law, who I love dearly. He doesn’t seem to be able to relate to George at all. My grandkids love their uncle. I like to take George over to visit my daughter, who also loves him dearly, but her husband always watches George intently and gets into a bad mood when George visits. George senses this and it upsets him. It all makes me sad. My son-in-law is a great husband, son, and provider. This situation greatly distresses me and my daughter because we want us all to be family and do activities together, but we have to do them without my son-in-law, because he just can’t handle George or relate to him. My daughter and I are at a loss and do not know how to handle this.