Chit Chat

Attended a Gothic Wedding Last Week

MollyandDMollyandD member
500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
edited July 2015 in Chit Chat
Some friends got married a week ago, and they had a wedding different from any other I've attended. The bride wore a black and white wedding dress that she made herself. The fabric on the skirt had a tattered appearance. Her purple hair was curled beautifully on her head, and she wore a red lace veil pinned on top. She carried dried out flowers down the aisle, and the bridesmaids carried black roses. It was cool to be able to attend the wedding. I loved it. 

The wedding took place in a church that was brick inside and out and had stunning stained glass windows. It fit the gothic feel, and the church allowed the couple to use another mutual friend as the minister. After the bride walked down the aisle, the minister gave a quick speech saying that if the bride's severely autistic brother should have an outburst, that is his way of being there and being present for his sister. He worded it sweeter than I am now, but it was a gentle reminder to those who may not know why someone might yell during the ceremony. 

The couple rented the upstairs area of a local bar out for the reception. The reception is where I found a few things that bothered me. For one, none of the children that attended the wedding could be there. The bride and groom provided food and most of the drinks. I know cash bars are bad, but I don't drink, so it didn't hurt me at all. 

What bothered me most was that a certain room, not a table, was reserved for the bridal party only. The bridal party consisted of many close friends of mine. Whenever they were in the room, which was most of the time, my husband and I would just be sitting outside together. Thank God my husband had been able to go after he got off work, or it would have been lonely and boring. The sign on the door, meant to be funny, said, "Bridal party only. All others can fuck off." I may have found the humor in the sign if this were just a changing room for the bridal party. Since they kept their own alcohol in there and stayed in there the majority of the time, the humor didn't appeal to me. I felt more insulted that there was this room only for special people, and it sucked that the bride and groom were in there instead of interacting with guests most of the night. (The bride did get sick and stay in the room at the end of the night, but that is not at all a problem. Her epilepsy was triggered by the stress and cameras.)

Re: Attended a Gothic Wedding Last Week

  • Yeah, that's pretty fucked up having a room to themselves and staying in it all night. I'm sure they think it was ok since it was "offbeat."
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • The design and feel of the wedding sounds really lovely but the separate room and sign are dumb as hell. I'm sure Offbeat Bride will loveeeeee it and recommend it!


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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    did anyone try to go in the bridal room? Would they be kicked out?  That is rude and I would be really put off by it, especially if you really only knew the bridal party and then you couldn't access them. And adding the sign, well I guess they found it humorous but I definitely would find it rude. I know that we have all experienced not getting to spend much time with the bride/groom at a wedding but segregating it like that just takes it to a whole new level.

  • Honestly, I would have ignored the sign if my friends were in another room the whole time. If someone would have said something, I would have been "Peace out" and left, with my card. How rude!
  • Yeah, if the bride and groom told me to "fuck off" at a wedding, even kind-of-sort-of in jest, because I wasn't allowed in the special room they were hanging out in, I'd be taking my card and leaving. Immediately.
  • Yeah, this is one of those times that unconventional met rude.   They had a cash bar for the rest of the guests but not for the people in their private room?   Then why the fuck did they invite the rest of the guests?

    Not cool.
  • Cash bars and the "all others fuck off" is rude. So is excluding children from the reception if they were invited to the ceremony.
  • The bride and groom paid for wine at the bar. Anything else, guests could purchase. Unless you were in the bridal party. Then, the free drinks were in the special room. As a non-drinker, I didn't want their drinks. I just didn't like the exclusive thing that was going on.

    My husband had been asked to be a groomsman, but couldn't make it to the ceremony due to work. He only went to the reception, while I attended both. If he had been in the bridal party, I would have been totally on my own while bridal party members were in that room. (Ok, I know he wouldn't have left me to go in there, but he would have had the option.)
  • BOO! FYI lurkers - this is what you don't do.
  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    The bride and groom paid for wine at the bar. Anything else, guests could purchase. Unless you were in the bridal party. Then, the free drinks were in the special room. As a non-drinker, I didn't want their drinks. I just didn't like the exclusive thing that was going on.

    My husband had been asked to be a groomsman, but couldn't make it to the ceremony due to work. He only went to the reception, while I attended both. If he had been in the bridal party, I would have been totally on my own while bridal party members were in that room. (Ok, I know he wouldn't have left me to go in there, but he would have had the option.)
    So SOs of the bridal party were not even allowed in???
  • The bride and groom paid for wine at the bar. Anything else, guests could purchase. Unless you were in the bridal party. Then, the free drinks were in the special room. As a non-drinker, I didn't want their drinks. I just didn't like the exclusive thing that was going on.

    My husband had been asked to be a groomsman, but couldn't make it to the ceremony due to work. He only went to the reception, while I attended both. If he had been in the bridal party, I would have been totally on my own while bridal party members were in that room. (Ok, I know he wouldn't have left me to go in there, but he would have had the option.)
    Wait, so the WP members left their dates to go in there?

    These people are all a bunch of assholes. 
  • kvruns said:
    The bride and groom paid for wine at the bar. Anything else, guests could purchase. Unless you were in the bridal party. Then, the free drinks were in the special room. As a non-drinker, I didn't want their drinks. I just didn't like the exclusive thing that was going on.

    My husband had been asked to be a groomsman, but couldn't make it to the ceremony due to work. He only went to the reception, while I attended both. If he had been in the bridal party, I would have been totally on my own while bridal party members were in that room. (Ok, I know he wouldn't have left me to go in there, but he would have had the option.)
    So SOs of the bridal party were not even allowed in???
    And it got worse...
  • Why on earth are you friends with these people?  Have a gothic wedding, offbeat, fine, you do you. But putting "everyone else fuck off" on a sign, really? What a bunch of losers.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


  • kvruns said:
    The bride and groom paid for wine at the bar. Anything else, guests could purchase. Unless you were in the bridal party. Then, the free drinks were in the special room. As a non-drinker, I didn't want their drinks. I just didn't like the exclusive thing that was going on.

    My husband had been asked to be a groomsman, but couldn't make it to the ceremony due to work. He only went to the reception, while I attended both. If he had been in the bridal party, I would have been totally on my own while bridal party members were in that room. (Ok, I know he wouldn't have left me to go in there, but he would have had the option.)
    So SOs of the bridal party were not even allowed in???
    I honestly don't know. For some, both members of the couple were in the bridal party. For two others that I'm friends with, their significant others were out of town and unable to attend. I didn't know the other people, so I didn't ask. 
  • kvruns said:
    The bride and groom paid for wine at the bar. Anything else, guests could purchase. Unless you were in the bridal party. Then, the free drinks were in the special room. As a non-drinker, I didn't want their drinks. I just didn't like the exclusive thing that was going on.

    My husband had been asked to be a groomsman, but couldn't make it to the ceremony due to work. He only went to the reception, while I attended both. If he had been in the bridal party, I would have been totally on my own while bridal party members were in that room. (Ok, I know he wouldn't have left me to go in there, but he would have had the option.)
    So SOs of the bridal party were not even allowed in???
    I honestly don't know. For some, both members of the couple were in the bridal party. For two others that I'm friends with, their significant others were out of town and unable to attend. I didn't know the other people, so I didn't ask. 
    It seems like quite a few people had convenient excuses that made them "unable to attend" this wedding. Maybe they got word ahead of time that there would be a tiered reception with rude signs and a cash bar?
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