Using shower gifts before the wedding?

Jen4948

frenchiekin said:

redheadbride15 said:

I never heard this rule that you're supposed to return bridal shower gifts if the wedding gets canceled. Of course, I've never hosted or attended any bridal showers so I may just be out of the loop.

Does the same apply to wedding gifts if you get a divorce? If this is true then I'm waiting on a TON of gifts to be returned to me! (I always knew there was a reason I give people gifts that I'd like for myself)

I think I read that if the marriage ends within the first year, you are supposed to return the wedding gifts.  I could be completely wrong, so I'll defer to the Etiquette Goddesses on this one...

ETF word

It would be gracious, but only if it ends through divorce or annulment.

I once read a letter to Dear Abby from a man whose wife died of breast cancer two months after their wedding, and her family members were demanding that he return their gifts to them.

huskypuppy14

Jen4948 said:

redheadbride15 said:

I never heard this rule that you're supposed to return bridal shower gifts if the wedding gets canceled. Of course, I've never hosted or attended any bridal showers so I may just be out of the loop.

Does the same apply to wedding gifts if you get a divorce? If this is true then I'm waiting on a TON of gifts to be returned to me! (I always knew there was a reason I give people gifts that I'd like for myself)

I think I read that if the marriage ends within the first year, you are supposed to return the wedding gifts.  I could be completely wrong, so I'll defer to the Etiquette Goddesses on this one...

ETF word

It would be gracious, but only if it ends through divorce or annulment. I once read a letter to Dear Abby from a man whose wife died of breast cancer two months after their wedding, and her family members were demanding that he return their gifts to them.

OMG, that is awful! What is wrong with people?

[Deleted User]

I opened everything that electrical and tried it out right away. This way if there was something wrong I could exchange it in a timely manner. We did start to use our toaster right away because our old one sucked, hence why we registered for one. Everything else like towels, serving dishes, etc, I put away and used at a later date after the wedding.

frenchiekin

Based on all of this advice, I've just instituted a rule for myself and FI.  We can use the gifts before the wedding only after the thank you note for that gift has been sent.  I figure it keeps us in check on sending them all in a timely manner (whether we plan to use the gift right away or not), and I also felt odd about putting anything away in our cabinets until the card went out.  

SP29

Jen4948 said:

It would be gracious, but only if it ends through divorce or annulment. I once read a letter to Dear Abby from a man whose wife died of breast cancer two months after their wedding, and her family members were demanding that he return their gifts to them.

OMG! I would NEVER. Geez, guy still needs stuff to eat off of. Maybe those gifts will be a pleasant (if bittersweet) memory of his marriage and the family who still (hopefully) loves and supports him. GEEZ....

fyrchk

huskypuppy14 said:

I agree with everyone else. Technically, you are supposed to return any gifts you receive prior to the wedding, if the wedding doesn't take place. However, I would never expect to receive my gift back. Now, if you get married again in the near future, I also probably wouldn't get you another gift.

Has anyone had their gift returned to them when the wedding hasn't happened? Or have you returned any gifts back to the gifter if your wedding didn't happen?

I haven't had any gifts returned. I was engaged prior and the wedding didn't happen. (Didn't want to marry someone who couldn't keep it in their pants.) I called everyone to attempt to return the shower gifts. Not a single person wanted them back. I had one wedding present (my friend gives them before because she doesn't like to take them to the wedding and my wedding was like a week out) that I insisted she take back. It was a wedding gift and the wedding didn't happen. I think she ended up giving it to her mom for Christmas. (It was a toaster oven.)