Getting Addresses From Boss and Coworkers

MegEn1

Hello,

So we've decided to invite my new office and two new bosses to my wedding. I love my new job and this is the place I want to be long term -- many people working here have been here 10 years or more and I want to be a long-termer too. So I'll likely (hopefully) be working with these people for many years to come and would like to build a good relationship with them and, moreover, I like them all as people. 

My question is -- what's the best way to get their addresses and spouse names? I was thinking of emailing them after hours to collect all the names and the like. Is that appropriate? What are your thoughts on how I go about doing this? 

[Deleted User]

MegEn1 said:

Hello,

So we've decided to invite my new office and two new bosses to my wedding. I love my new job and this is the place I want to be long term -- many people working here have been here 10 years or more and I want to be a long-termer too. So I'll likely (hopefully) be working with these people for many years to come and would like to build a good relationship with them and, moreover, I like them all as people. 

My question is -- what's the best way to get their addresses and spouse names? I was thinking of emailing them after hours to collect all the names and the like. Is that appropriate? What are your thoughts on how I go about doing this? 

"Hi, I was wondering if I could get your wife/boyfriend's name and your home address for our wedding invitations.  But if you could keep this on the DL since I'm not inviting everyone from the office, that would be great."

emmaaa

Just ask them. Tell them you would like to invite them and their significant other (if they have one) to the weddin gand need their name and address.

Jen4948

I'd say to them, "Hi Coworker, I'd like to invite you and your spouse/BF/GF to my wedding.  Could you give me their name and home address so we can mail you an invitation?"

MegEn1

Is an email okay to do this, do you guys think? 

kvruns

email is perfectly fine.  You're overthinking this!

emmaaa

I think an email is perfectly acceptable.

Jen4948

Email is fine.

MegEn1

I am overthinking this I guess I've never invited a boss or a coworker to a social thing before unless we were friends already. Feels a bit clunky. 

Thanks ladies. 

[Deleted User]

MegEn1 said:

I am overthinking this I guess I've never invited a boss or a coworker to a social thing before unless we were friends already. Feels a bit clunky. 

Thanks ladies. 

In that case, if you feel like there's a chance at all that you might change your mind about inviting them, wait until the last possible moment to get their address.  How far out from your wedding are you?  How long until invitations should go out?

lembaslover

I just sent an email to the people I wanted to invite asking for their addresses. In hindsight I should have also asked for their SOs names... would have saved me a bit of facebook stalking...

[Deleted User]

engagedhamstermom said:

I just sent an email to the people I wanted to invite asking for their addresses. In hindsight I should have also asked for their SOs names... would have saved me a bit of facebook stalking...

You should definitely ask for their names.  Because my name on facebook is not necessarily my actual name.  I have friends who are Firstname Middlename on facebook, but legally/socially are Firstname Lastname.  And several friends who use their maiden names or even first husband's names in addition to their legal/social last name on facebook so everyone can find them regardless of their name when they knew them.

huskypuppy14

Also some people keep their maiden name professionally but use their husband's name socially. I also have a woman at work that is divorced, but has her legal name as her ex husband's name (and that's who people know her at work) but uses her maiden name socially. 

I'd ask for their address, their SO name, and how they like to be addressed. That way you've covered all basis and will not offend anyone. Good luck!

SP29

E-mail is fine.

I would try to keep the conversation away from direct work hours, so an after hours email would be good, or talking to them privately at break or after work. Unless you are inviting EVERY single person from the office, I would try to keep your professional and social life separate to avoid any hurt feelings or someone over hearing the invite but not getting invited themselves.

MegEn1

Yeah I was planning on sending an email late in the evening. It's going to everyone in my office -- three coworkers, boss, boss' boss. I think. Boss' boss is giving me some anxiety, I don't know if that's appropriate or if it would make it weird. 

[Deleted User]

MegEn1 said:

Yeah I was planning on sending an email late in the evening. It's going to everyone in my office -- three coworkers, boss, boss' boss. I think. Boss' boss is giving me some anxiety, I don't know if that's appropriate or if it would make it weird. 

If you have ANY nerves about it at all, don't send a STDate.  If they don't have a STDate, you can forgo sending them an invitation later.  You can always still send an invitation even if they haven't been saving the date this whole time.  But an early announcement locks you in.

MegEn1

None of these people got a STD, we're talking invites now whihc will be ordered in the next week or two.