I want to invite my cousin to our wedding. I have been separated from her most of my life due to her mom and my mom's relationship. I want to extend the olive branch to my cousin because I would like to have a relationship with her. I know she wouldn't be able to come to our wedding because she will be due at that time and it's a short plane ride away, but I think the gesture of inviting her would open up the possibility of a relationship, while not inviting her would close what may be our last chance (no more weddings to attend in our family since I'm the youngest).
My mom is adamant that I don't send my cousin the invitation till after the wedding, which to me seems to do more harm than good. My mom, justifiably, is worried that my aunt will find out about the date and place and show up, get drunk and ruin the wedding (this is based on past behavior).
How can I extend the olive branch (again, no expectation that my cousin would come) in a way that basically says - please don't tell your mom about this or show her the invitation?
The whole situation breaks my heart