Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

drama at wedding (long)

So our wedding was last month and was the best day of my life, loved everything about it, all the details came together, all our friends and family were there. Everything was wonderful...except that there was a fight that broke out apparently while we were doing our toasts. (we had NO idea there was a fight because it was in another room) and none of our friends/family wanted us to know about it so we didnt find out until the next day.
Turns out my MOH's boyfriend started a fight with one of the groomsmen during dinner. Our groomsmen left the table and went to eat at a different table to avoid causing a scene. Well my MOH's bf kept following him around all night trying to start stuff, so all the groomsmen gang up on the guy and tell him to leave. MOH's bf proceeds to throw the first punch on a friend of ours and then all the guys tackle him down & drag him out of the reception. As if that wasnt enough the guy came back to the reception telling my mother he was going to call the cops on US! He was told multiple times to leave our reception, even my father asked him nicley to leave. Everyone I've talked to is telling me the same story and claiming that MOH's bf was way out of line. So my MOH is mad at me now and hasnt talked to me since the wedding. Her boyfriend called me the day after the wedding wanting to press charges on the guys who threw him out.... I told him I was so sorry about what happend but I wasnt going to give him the information(names of the guys) he needed to press charges. Those guys who threw him out are our friends. What the hell should I do??? Im so upset that my friend is mad at me for a situation I had no idea about until the following day! And I didnt want something like that to happen at our wedding! Im pissed her boyfriend was acting that way. Sorry this is long and detailed, I just need to vent. I dont want to loose my friend.

Re: drama at wedding (long)

  • I'm really, REALLY glad to hear that you didn't have to deal with this at your wedding! I agree that you should definitely hear your MOH out, at least so that if nothing else, she feels like she has been heard. It sounds like her bf is a big bag of crazy, but at the end of the day, it is still her bf, and she's going to side with them. I would just explain that without seeing the actual fight, you're sorry that it happened, but you won't take sides. Hopefully it'll all just blow over.

    Good luck!
  • I think it's great that your friends stuck up for you and that they made sure it didn't ruin your day.  Your maid of honor sounds like she's dating a pretty trashy guy.  If she wants to be mad at you then fine but it is through no fault of yours.  I'd just wait it out and if she continues to not speak to you over this matter then perhaps she's not a friend you want to keep.  
  • Hear out your MOH, and evaluate the situation from her perspective as well.  If you think your relationship with her won't survive this issue, then move on knowing you've done the "right" thing.  Like PPS, it's her bf and she's going to side with him (unless deep down she knows this guy is a jerk).   
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  • Although I do agree that there are two sides to every story, it sounds as if this guy went out of his way to be a total tool! I'm sorry that your maid of honor is treating you so badly, but I feel as though if it were me, and that was my boyfriend that I brought to my best friends wedding, I would be so embarrassed! I feel as though she owes you an apology, and you owe him nothing!

    Either way, it's a bad situation, and I'm sorry that this is how your spending the first month of married life.
  • How can he press charges? It doesn't sound like any of them actually hit him, just tackled him after he threw the first punch. You can't press charges on throwing someone out of a reception, can you?

    Either way, he can't prove anything. He's just a tool and your MOH kind of sucks for getting mad at YOU over all of this.
  • >>so all the groomsmen gang up on the guy and tell him to leave.

    No, venue security should have been alerted immediately, and they handle situations like this.  It's part of what you pay for when you rent the venue.

    />>guy came back to the reception telling my mother he was going to call the cops on US!

    And your mom immediately alerts venue security so this can be handled.

    />>even my father asked him nicley to leave.

    No, your father should have alerted venue security to get this handled.

    And if you are ready to respond that your venue did not have security on duty that night, I'd say they probably DID but you didn't notice the plain-clothed security staff.  If you are ready to respond that you rented some kind of beach cabana that doesn't have a security staff, then you should have had four friends serving as event security.

    Bottom line:  lose the friendship.  This girl isn't a friend of yours.  If she was, she would have immediately left with her drunk troublesome boyfriend when he started causing trouble, or she would have called his parents to come pick him up so she could stay.  She didn't do anything to control the situation, which was HERS.
  • Yeah, we didnt have any security. Actually we did designate a couple of our friends to be there if someone needed to leave, and those were the guys who tackled him AFTER they told him to leave and one was punched. The staff also told the guy to leave. My wedding coordinator, the bartenders, my family and our friends told him to leave. But he wouldnt go without a fight.
    Even if the cops were called, they wouldnt have done anything except probably haul her bf to jail. And if he would have tried to press charges I think the cops would laugh in his face because there isnt anything to charge for.
    I thought she would be embarressed about the situation. I would be mortified if I was her and my bf acted in that way.

  • I am sorry to hear about that! I hope that you guys can work it out, but she should feel embarassed. but also note that you arn't mad at her, you are mad at him, which I totally would be myself! But I think it was great of everyone not to let it ruin your day!! And if the cops would have been called, there probably still would of been a fight before they got there, and you definitly couldn't go without  noticing or hearing all about the cops showing up. I hope that you guys can maintain your friendship . Have you guys been friends long? GL
  • Your MOH knows her bf's side of the story, not what you've related... I wouldn't be surprised if she's embarrassed after you tell her what you're aware of...

    BTW - calling the cops would have been the right thing to do if a disruptive person refused to leave the event after being asked... it would have prevented the issue of her bf pressing charges against anyone and he would have been escorted out.

    So glad that you didn't know about it until the next day! 
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  •  I feel like this situation is being blown way out of porportion. Bottom line is you dont start fights at weddings and I feel as if my husband and I deserve an apology from her bf for being a huge douche bag and starting a fight.
    Posted by Amymarie_MILLER[/QUOTE]

     Exactly!  I think they BOTH owe you an apology, you don't owe that guy info on your friends so he can call the cops, your MOH should of told her B/F to calm down or to leave, seriously! If I was in that situation and saw my FI was trying to start a fight at a wedding I would have told him that we were going home! I wouldn't want someone ruining my day why should I do it to someone, you know?  Just hear your MOH but tell her you're not taking sides, because you weren't the one causing drama.
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  • OMG!  That is the most awful thing I have heard.  I'm so sorry you are dealing with that.  I can't believe grown adults can't act like it for ONE day.  Not even a full day!  Only a portion of a day.  Blows my mind. 

    I hope everything settles down and works out!
  • I had a similar situation happen.  Our best man and groomsman punched holes in the bathroom wall of our venue and then proceeded to fight some of our guests.  The cops were called and they both spent the night in jail.  Neither of them has apologized.  I'm thankful these events happened AFTER most of our guests had left for the night.

    Sad truth is that your MOH and her BF are not going to apologize to you.  Just be glad you didn't know about it until after the wedding.  I will forever have the memory of talking to cops while in my wedding dress.  : ( 
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