Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

asking a pastor to officiate a wedding with alcohol

I couldn't decide to put this under etiquette or here and here won out. I'd like to have my pastor at my  church officiate my wedding. i've known him for years and i just can't imagine anyone else performing the ceremony. However, there will be alcohol at the reception. Is it inappropriate to ask him knowing this? How does that work? The ceremony and reception are in the same place. How does that usually work? I know many christian ceremonies that have alcohol at the reception so I'm just wondering how that worked out.

Re: asking a pastor to officiate a wedding with alcohol

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think the best course of action is to just talk to your pastor.

  • No harm in asking. Just be clear when asking him that the ceremony will not be held at the church but at the reception venue. It depends on your faith on what the believes are on drinking. We had our pastor (lutheran) out our reception and he was dancing up a storm and had I believe had a few drinks since he was off the clock. But some faiths don't believe in drinking at all. I date a guy whose family didn't believe in alcohol to the point they wouldn't keep cough syrup in the house & that I was going to hell because I would occasionally drink.
  • It all depends on the denomination of the pastor.  Methodist, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Presbyterian - no problem.  Baptist - maybe. Others - you should ask.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • minksterweddingminksterwedding JACKSONVILLE, FL member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    i'm baptist and they don't approve of alcohol, hence my dilemma.
  • I think you just need to ask. Respectfully, acknowledging that you understand he may not be comfortable since you plan to serve alcohol, if he would be willing to officiate.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    i'm baptist and they don't approve of alcohol, hence my dilemma.
    Then you just need to ask.  I am sure this has come up before.  Just be understanding if he says no.

  • You could start by asking if he will officiate in a non-church venue. He may not even do that much. If he will, then broach the topic of alcohol. Baptists can vary widely in this regard IME.

    (I belong to the Baptist church where we got married, though admittedly we are now considering church shopping for a more widely accepting denomination)
    image
    lachattefatale
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    I would talk to him about it and find out what he has to say.  He might be willing to do it if the reception is not on the church grounds.  Or he might be willing to officiate at the ceremony but will decline to attend the reception.

    He may still say no to officiating or even allowing you to marry at his church, so have a Plan B available.

  • minksterweddingminksterwedding JACKSONVILLE, FL member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    looks like i'll be asking! thank you all
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards