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Wedding 911

Small wedding...wedding party getting larger

CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
I'm not sure if this is in the right board or not....  We're having a small wedding.  75 people are invited.  At first I had three people in our wedding party, but then bumped it up to 4.  We were just going a family members only, but now I want my best friend in the party. Is having 5 bridesmaids for such a small wedding a bit much?

btw, I don't think we'll do a head table since all the people in the party don't have their SO's and I don't think we'll do a wedding party only dance...considering the SO issue.

Re: Small wedding...wedding party getting larger

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2015
    I'm not sure if this is in the right board or not....  We're having a small wedding.  75 people are invited.  At first I had three people in our wedding party, but then bumped it up to 4.  We were just going a family members only, but now I want my best friend in the party. Is having 5 bridesmaids for such a small wedding a bit much?

    btw, I don't think we'll do a head table since all the people in the party don't have their SO's and I don't think we'll do a wedding party only dance...considering the SO issue.
    Wait!  What?  Why aren't the wedding party's S/Os attending?  You did invite them, I hope?  I have never seen a wedding party only dance, though I have heard of them.  You don't need to do this.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
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    Oh yes, they're invited just not in the wedding party. I haven't been to many weddings to be honest. Recently especially. The last one had it and I thought it was weird, which is why I'm nixing it.

  • One thing I'd have loved to have skipped was the whole "head table" thing at our wedding and just let everyone sit where they wanted (including us so we could have "worked the room" a little better than we were able to).  If anything, do a "Sweetheart table" of just you/FI, and even then it's still your choice to decide. 

    But, to answer your question, have as many or as few as you want!  Just remember to keep your expectations in check (their only job is to show up wearing the pre-selected attire the day of the wedding, and possibly a rehearsal).. 

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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
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    Yes, but with 5 on each side, I'm thinking that's practically all the guests I'm having! LOL.  But I would love to have her at my side that day.  

    The head table will be skipped. I don't think it's fair for the SO's/dates of any wedding party to eat with people they don't know or are not totally comfortable with.  I'm also doing a casual buffet style since plated dinners are not my thing.  I was thinking of doing a bride/groom and parents table - but I think even my parents would want to sit with their grandchildren and other kids.

  • edited July 2015
    I don't think it is too many. Include the people who you want standing next to you when you get married. Don't worry about the aesthetics of it. 

    FWIW, We originally had a guest list of 200; I had 7 bridesmaids, FI had 6 groomsmen. Because ours is a DW, we have a final head count of 88 people. I still have 7 BM and Fi still has 6 GM. 

    Might that be a large WP for such a small guest list? Maybe. But these are the people that mean the world to us and neither one of us could imagine not having a single one of them by our sides. 

    ETF grammar
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  • One.  Just because you're taking your side up to 5 people doesn't mean he needs to.  Two.  I suggest you let your parents and his parents each host their own table.  "Mom, here's the RSVP list of the people who are attending.  You and dad can host your own table.  Who are the other six people you'd like at your table?"  You can then host your own table as well if you'd like, or you can sit at a sweetheart table just the two of you since you probably will eat and run to mingle with everyone.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
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    Thanks guys!  So, if we do 5 and 4, how does the whole aisle thing work? I can ask my sister, MOH, if she'd walk down alone, and I think she might like that.  In fact, she could walk with her daughters (flower girls).....

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
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    But then again, her daughters are so darn cute and they need their moment.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
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    I just now saw the "Wedding Party" board, I honestly didn't even see that one before otherwise i would have posted there!  Do I get a newbie pass? :) 

  • I don't think it's too many. If you're concerned about a big bridal party, one thing I read somewhere else for someone in a similar dilemma is that you can have the wedding party walk down the aisle and take their seats in the first row. Maybe have just the MOH and BM stand up if you want them to? That way, they're still including in the bridal party and get front row seats. For photos, leave it to your photographer to decide how best to photograph. There's nothing wrong with having that many people in your party and uneven sides is no big deal.

    As for walking down the aisle, just have one person walk by themselves (I agree with your choice of MOH) or have one groomsman with two bridesmaids.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
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    I love the BM walking down with two people.  Do people have two MOH's?

  • primafaba15primafaba15 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited August 2015
    If you're concerned about a big bridal party, one thing I read somewhere else for someone in a similar dilemma is that you can have the wedding party walk down the aisle and take their seats in the first row. 

    Our church actually required this for space reasons (even though we only had 3 on each side, which most people told us was fairly small). Only best man and MOH could be with us. So what we did is have the rest of the BP sit in the front row until it was time for vows, then come and line up on the altar behind us. We were able to get all of the 'traditional' pictures and it looked really nice. Afterwards they went back to their seats until the end when they processed out in pairs. 

    Actually, we did not have the guys and girls walk down together either (H was insistent that best man's job was to be at the front calming him down!). As it happened the other two GM were a close friend of his family and my brother, so we had them walk the mothers to their seats then stand at the front. The bridesmaids walked down solo and when they reached the front the corresponding GM escorted them to their seats. My MOH waited with the best man at the front until my father handed me off and then we went to our seats together. 
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    oh, wow, do I LOVE the idea of the men walking down the Mothers.....I'm going to see if we can do that.  Great idea @primafaba15!

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