Family Expectations Before We're Engaged

anidorikiladra

My BF and I aren't even engaged yet, and my twin sister is always talking about our future wedding and how "obviously we'll be each other's MOH!" She just assumes it'll be her when the time comes. (It probably won't be)
She also talks about what my wedding will be like and I'm like "hold your horses woman!"
It's so awkward when she says it because I don't want to contradict her when we're not even engaged but I've never encouraged the idea. Not really an advice post, more of a vent.
Anyone else experience this kind of thing before they were engaged? Or have stories of weird things family expect/ask when you're in that stage considering getting engaged.

minskat30

Yup, we've mostly all been there.  Just bean dip.  When it comes up, change the subject.  Since this is your sister you can go one step further and just tell her "Look, sis, BF and I aren't engaged.  I don't want to talk about a wedding when I don't have one to plan so lets not talk about it.  Have you tried the bean dip, its amazing."  

speakeasy14

My sister's and I have talked about future weddings just for fun, but that is just our personalities.  We also have enjoyed sending each other the most ridiculous and ugly things we can find and saying "omg this should be your wedding dress."  But it sounds like you don't want to have those talks, so use @minskat30 's adivce.  "Bean Dipping" is a great way to change the subject. 

phira

Yeah, just keep changing the subject and not encouraging her. It's frustrating, though. Sorry you're dealing with this!

anidorikiladra

speakeasy14 said:

My sister's and I have talked about future weddings just for fun, but that is just our personalities.  We also have enjoyed sending each other the most ridiculous and ugly things we can find and saying "omg this should be your wedding dress."  But it sounds like you don't want to have those talks, so use @minskat30 's adivce.  "Bean Dipping" is a great way to change the subject. 

That's so funny!

anidorikiladra

minskat30 said:

Yup, we've mostly all been there.  Just bean dip.  When it comes up, change the subject.  Since this is your sister you can go one step further and just tell her "Look, sis, BF and I aren't engaged.  I don't want to talk about a wedding when I don't have one to plan so lets not talk about it.  Have you tried the bean dip, its amazing."  

Thanks, I usually talk to her on the phone so it's easy to just not really say anything in reply and she'll move on to another topic. Glad to know I'm not alone! Pretty sure I won't be taking her advice when I do get engaged anyway, as she doesn't find cash bars tacky! I've lurked enough on this forum to know that's a no-no.

teddygirl9

At least its not the PARENTS! My bfs parents have basically started planning it for us. 'Oh we'll obviously do a destination' and that sort of stuff. It's very annoying, I totally understand how you feel.

anidorikiladra

teddygirl9 said:

At least its not the PARENTS! My bfs parents have basically started planning it for us. 'Oh we'll obviously do a destination' and that sort of stuff. It's very annoying, I totally understand how you feel.

Oh my gosh that would drive me crazy. We live pretty close to his parents so see them a lot. They just give us advice by talking about relationships in general.

teddygirl9

I want to be like 'WE will probably just elope if you keep talking about it' haha. We live close to both of our parents as well, but see them maybe once a month. My mom isnt *as* bad, but still.

minskat30

My family did it to me once before I got engaged (i.e., "well when you get married you'll have to do X, have it at Y place and we must invite Z").  I was actually, ironically, standing in front of a bean taco dip when they did it so took a big bite, said "mmmmm, you should TRY this" and then went for the wine.  They get the hint eventually.  

jenjen047

I second @speakeasy14.