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Should I Make Her A Bridesmaid?

baymkennishvasquezbaymkennishvasquez member
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edited July 2015 in Wedding Party
My fiancé is in a band. He has three band members, and they are all married. One of the wives is my best friend and I already asked her to be my maid of honor. I know I am going to ask another band member's wife to be a bridesmaid because we are good friends. The third wife, I am not extremely close to. All three of us were some of her bridesmaids, even though we didn't know her that well. She had a very big wedding, with ten bridesmaids. I feel bad asking all the wives except her to be a bridesmaid. We don't want a big wedding like hers, so this girl will take up a space for a bridesmaid who could be one of my great friends, but my fiance says to include her to avoid drama, because she is a very dramatic person who could make a huge deal out of this. I don't know what to do.
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Re: Should I Make Her A Bridesmaid?

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited July 2015

    Don't include her if she is someone you are not close to-especially not to "avoid drama."  That is the worst reason to ever include someone in your wedding party, and it generally creates drama to include such people, because they make your life miserable with demands and complaints.

    Besides, it shouldn't be up to your husband or anyone else who you choose to be in your wedding party.  Both he and this chick need to get over it if you don't choose her.

    Edited to add: If you're not married yet, you don't have a husband, you have a fiancé.  He doesn't become your husband until you get married.


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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    baymkennishvasquez said:
    My fiancé is in a band. He has three band members, and they are all married. One of the wives is my best friend and I already asked her to be my maid of honor. I know I am going to ask another band member's wife to be a bridesmaid because we are good friends. The third wife, I am not extremely close to. All three of us were some of her bridesmaids, even though we didn't know her that well. She had a very big wedding, with ten bridesmaids. I feel bad asking all the wives except her to be a bridesmaid. We don't want a big wedding like hers, so this girl will take up a space for a bridesmaid who could be one of my great friends, but my husband says to include her to avoid drama, because she is a very dramatic person who could make a huge deal out of this. I don't know what to do.
    What Jen said.  But the three of you other girls need to be sure not to talk too much about the wedding and bridesmaid stuff when she's around.  No need to rub it in.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    adk19 said:
    baymkennishvasquez said:
    My fiancé is in a band. He has three band members, and they are all married. One of the wives is my best friend and I already asked her to be my maid of honor. I know I am going to ask another band member's wife to be a bridesmaid because we are good friends. The third wife, I am not extremely close to. All three of us were some of her bridesmaids, even though we didn't know her that well. She had a very big wedding, with ten bridesmaids. I feel bad asking all the wives except her to be a bridesmaid. We don't want a big wedding like hers, so this girl will take up a space for a bridesmaid who could be one of my great friends, but my husband says to include her to avoid drama, because she is a very dramatic person who could make a huge deal out of this. I don't know what to do.
    What Jen said.  But the three of you other girls need to be sure not to talk too much about the wedding and bridesmaid stuff when she's around.  No need to rub it in.
    Yes.  Don't give her ammunition to create drama about not being asked to be a bridesmaid with.
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    auriannaaurianna member
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    Is your fiance close to her? If so, he could ask her to stand on his side.

    There is no reason you need to ask this woman to be a bridesmaid. But if you want to, know she doesn't have to take up someone else's spot (unless it really is a matter of physical space by the alter). You can have more bridesmaids than your fiance has groomsmen. So it's ok if you have an extra bridesmaid (but again, you don't need to ask a woman you aren't close to to be your bridesmaid).


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    novella1186novella1186 member
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    thespeshulestsnowflake said:
    I feel like 99% of the time someone asks if they should include someone in a bridal party the answer is no. If you really have to ask, then the person probably shouldn't be in your bridal party.
    We're on the same page. I was going to say, I knew my answer to this question would be "NO" before I even read the OP. 

    Asking her just to avoid drama is nonsense. If you do ask her, she's still just as capable of causing plenty of drama; she'll just find other reasons to cause it. And then you're stuck with her. And then you'll look back at the wedding photos of you with your WP and see her and think "ugh she caused so much stress and drama." Don't do that. 
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    kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    I have nothing to add, I just dig your name;)
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    I agree if you have to ask, the answer is likely no. And as soon as I hear "I'm not that close to her...." I'm sold on NO.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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