Should my sister's future in-laws be invited?

Knottie81625387

My wedding is a month away (a weekend-long destination wedding). We've been engaged for 14 months and our guest list has been set for almost a year. My younger sister got engaged last week and my mom wants to invite my sister's future in-laws to the wedding. Is that appropriate? I have met them one time and my mom met them for the first time this week. I feel that having them there will take the focus off of our wedding and celebrating our love and relationship and put some of the focus and attention on welcoming my future brother-in-law's family to ours. Shouldn't the focus of the weekend be joining my family to my fiance's family?

Is my concern rational or am I being selfish?

Jen4948

Knottie81625387 said:

My wedding is a month away (a weekend-long destination wedding). We've been engaged for 14 months and our guest list has been set for almost a year. My younger sister got engaged last week and my mom wants to invite my sister's future in-laws to the wedding. Is that appropriate? I have met them one time and my mom met them for the first time this week. I feel that having them there will take the focus off of our wedding and celebrating our love and relationship and put some of the focus and attention on welcoming my future brother-in-law's family to ours. Shouldn't the focus of the weekend be joining my family to my fiance's family?

Is my concern rational or am I being selfish?

Who is paying for your wedding?  If it's your parents, they get a say.  Otherwise, while you don't have to invite them, I think your concern is irrational, because I don't understand how having them at your wedding will take the focus off celebrating your love and relationship with your FI and future in-laws.

Edited for: The above said, if you're this close to your wedding, I would tell your mother that unfortunately, it's too late to add any more names to your guest list.

thespeshulestsnowflake

I answered you on Chit Chat, when posting across board include XP in your title.

[Deleted User]

Knottie81625387 said:

My wedding is a month away (a weekend-long destination wedding). We've been engaged for 14 months and our guest list has been set for almost a year. My younger sister got engaged last week and my mom wants to invite my sister's future in-laws to the wedding. Is that appropriate? I have met them one time and my mom met them for the first time this week. I feel that having them there will take the focus off of our wedding and celebrating our love and relationship and put some of the focus and attention on welcoming my future brother-in-law's family to ours. Shouldn't the focus of the weekend be joining my family to my fiance's family?

Is my concern rational or am I being selfish?

Your concern is irrational, but you still shouldn't invite them.  It's too close to your wedding date.  They'd be an afterthought invitation which is rude.  (Anybody have the Gilmore Girls link?)

aurianna

adk19 said:

Your concern is irrational, but you still shouldn't invite them.  It's too close to your wedding date.  They'd be an afterthought invitation which is rude.  (Anybody have the Gilmore Girls link?)

So OT but I rewatched GG this month. It amazed me how badly Emily botched etiquette on all sorts of things. Having a bridal party and bridal gown at a vow renewal... expecting a bach party for a vow renewal... not inviting SO's to various parties. There were other things too I'm forgetting.



I'm confused. How is a wedding a weekend long?

I agree with PPs; inviting them wouldn't draw attention away from you. You'll be getting married. People will be looking at you. Promise. But I also agree it's just too short notice.
It's B-listing and it's yucky. It wasn't until a ring was involved that these people were worth the time of day? And they're to be given a month's notice about a destination wedding? If air travel is involved, that's going to be an expensive ticket.

Tell your mom you don't want them to be after thoughts and it's really short notice.

[Deleted User]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Puyd3UEWu2U

Found it.

downtondiva

Having your sister's in-laws there wouldn't distract from your wedding (I'm not sure how it could), but nobody wants to be an afterthought, and I think that's how these people would feel if you invited them now. Don't do it.

[Deleted User]

Since you don't know them, you shouldn't have to invite them. However, if mom & dad are footing the bill and want to include them as your guest list, you are kind of stuck. I agree with other posters that with a month to go, it looks like an after thought and with it being a destination event, that doesn't give them much time to plan for it either.

Knottie1437592489

I would say no, it's too late in the game to shuffle your tables around, etc. Even if mom and dad are footing the bill, they should understand that nobody wants to be a second thought/pity invite. I don't think you're being irrational though, I understand that it's your day and you don't want to be distracted by the thought of them being there. Even though, come day of, they will be the LAST thing on your mind. It's just unnecessary stress at this point, being a month away.