When you can't pick a venue...

rachsails

Any advice?  We had a great city picked out as a destination that was a good halfway point for both our families but all the venues we liked are booked until eternity.  My hometown is a travel hassle for most of the guests and our current city is a hassle for most of our family members.  I never thought I was a picky person but we've looked at all kinds of things and just nothing feels right.  Neither one of us have any preconceived ideas of what we want for a wedding, we just want a great party.  Is this the point where I just give up finding a place I love and just start acting excited about whatever place so everyone else feels comfortable?  This is killing me.  Have any of y'all experienced something similar?

novella1186

rachsails said:

Any advice?  We had a great city picked out as a destination that was a good halfway point for both our families but all the venues we liked are booked until eternity.  My hometown is a travel hassle for most of the guests and our current city is a hassle for most of our family members.  I never thought I was a picky person but we've looked at all kinds of things and just nothing feels right.  Neither one of us have any preconceived ideas of what we want for a wedding, we just want a great party.  Is this the point where I just give up finding a place I love and just start acting excited about whatever place so everyone else feels comfortable?  This is killing me.  Have any of y'all experienced something similar?

I had some venue frustration in the beginning for sure. H's family is mostly south and west, immediate family is midwest, relatives are all over the country and in some cases in other countries, so no matter what, pretty much everyone would be traveling. 

I thought it would be easiest to have it in my hometown but there weren't many options. H's hometown has no wedding venues (it's a very small town), the nearest big city is an hour away and inconvenient to almost everyone plus super expensive compared to other areas. Needless to say it wasn't a fun search. 

My sister ended up recommending a venue in a city I had never even been to before, that was about 40 minutes from my parents' house and 2 hours from where H and I live. We checked it out and it was amazing, so we booked it right away. Totally random. It was close to multiple major airports, and there were plenty of hotels in the city, plus a lot of our friends and relatives lived fairly close, so done deal. 

Can you search some other towns in the area and see if there's anything there? Maybe think a bit outside the box? 

rachsails

Thanks!  That's good advice!

lovemesomemonster

We had the same issue, we are an 8hr drive from both or our families and they are an 8hr drive from each other (we make a nice triangle). We settled on closer to my family but we have to have it in the winter if I want the groom to make it so that limited options because we needed inside but I wanted as pretty as you can get (hoping for snow). After talking to both sides they said "just make it a fun vacation for all of us" so we went with my dream venue at a ski resort which will be a 2ish hr drive for my family and 8hrs for his. 

JaxInBlue

DH and I are from the same hometown.  We knew when we got engaged that us going back there would be easier (and result in more VIPs able to attend) for most of our guest list.  However, when we got married we had exactly 4 venue options that met our initial criteria and then only 2 that would accommodate our guest list.   All that left us with some choice, but it was frustrating initially.

If you can, I like novella's idea of either trying to expand your geography a bit, or perhaps looking at non-traditional locations, or both.

Also, you and FI should really try to prioritize your venue wants - determine what your must haves are and where there is some flexibility.  I knew that I wanted a venue that did a lot of the set-up/clean-up and that would do the catering, so that ruled out a lot of social halls.  I was okay, though, with the venue not having great grounds or being kind or boring in terms of decor.  If you can settle on a few important criteria (whatever they are) and be willing to let go of some others, you might also expand your list or go back for a second look at other venues.

redheadbride15

I think a lot of couples end up in a situation like this. If you find that basically everyone is going to have to travel then sometimes it's easiest to have the wedding in a location that's convenient for most people to travel to, even if you have no connection to it whatsoever. It's sort of like the non-exotic and affordable version of a destination wedding.

princessleia22

Between DH and I, we have family in MI, FL, AL, AZ, and OR... pretty evenly spread across each corner of the country.  No matter what we did, over 1/2 our guests would have to travel long distance.  So... we got married in New Orleans.  Neither of us had ever been there, so no personal connection, and not in town for anybody.  But, it was within driving distance for a lot of the east coast people and a cheaper plane ticket for the west coast people.  And it made a good vacation spot for us and our guests to enjoy. Sometimes the less obvious answers make the best solutions.

[Deleted User]

I had a similar thing happen.  My FILs live in the unincorporated area of their town and it's not truly in BUFU, but almost.  They live "around the block" from a gorgeous place that we were SURE we'd have our wedding.  Nope- they wanted more than we wanted to spend, and while I liked the outdoor space, the inside wasn't to our tastes, so we had to start shopping.

We looked at several other places in the same town; one is literally across the street from where we live now (great space and the most affordable option, but it had been semi-abandoned until earlier that year and there were a lot of upkeep issues I wasn't willing to take a chance on), another was one town over (really cool old re-purposed factory but my fiance said it was too dark), and another in the same county (they wanted 10K just for the venue- um, that's my entire budget). 

I finally called my planner and jokingly said if I have to have it in Lake Geneva (cute vacation town not too far from us in WI), to find s/t we like I will.  We looked at two places in Lake Geneva and they were pretty good; our planner also found us a place about 13 miles from LG and we visited and fell in love. 

So yes, broaden your search a bit to surrounding area- you may be surprised at what you find.

kimmiinthemitten

Use the local board here to ask about non traditional venues you may be missing out on!

rachsails

Thanks, ladies!

CMGragain

Forget about trying to please everybody with your venue location.  It is your wedding!  Choose a place that you both like, and make your plans.  Send your STDs and invitations when the time is right.  People will either come to your wedding, or they won't.
We bent over backwards trying to make travel possible for daughter's wedding guests.  We shouldn't have worried.  They didn't come, anyway.  She had a great wedding with people who really cared about her.

(I am assuming that you are paying for your own wedding, right?)