Registering Or Not?

NicRen17

I am not planning to have any showers (I am not expecting anyone to throw one). I wasn't planning on registering for gifts. 

My FMIL has mentioned several times that we should register JIC someone would like to get us a gift. I am feeling a little side-eyeing to the whole thing. I understand where she's coming but I feel like it might be a little gift grabby. IF I did register, it would be for things like towels, bedding, small applicances like toaster, coffee maker, ect.

Opinions?

Maggie0829

I think having a registry that shows off the style you like (colors, etc) is always a good idea, because like your FMIL said there will be people who would rather purchase you a boxed gift rather then give you cash in a card.  And most times these people wish to get you something that they know you will like/use which is what a registry will help them to determine.

You will only look gift grabby if you go around and tell everyone "hey I am registered at XYZ so make sure to look at it and buy off of it.!"

But you are also free to not make a registry at all if you don't want to.  Really the decision is up to you and your FI.

BrinkyDink16

We made a small registry and included a gifts section in our "Handbook for the Recently Invited" we sent out with our invitations.  The number one thing in that section is that gifts are in no way necessary and I really hope people listen to that.  We don't really NEED anything since we've lived together for so long now but we felt a small registry and some suggestions were appropriate rather than leaving people to their own devices.  I had a friend who didn't register at all and some older / more distant family members brought gifts that they already had and they got about 10 picture frames with their wedding date / last name on them ... which kind of sucked since she didn't take his last name!

Maggie0829

BrinkyDink16 said:

We made a small registry and included a gifts section in our "Handbook for the Recently Invited" we sent out with our invitations.  The number one thing in that section is that gifts are in no way necessary and I really hope people listen to that.  We don't really NEED anything since we've lived together for so long now but we felt a small registry and some suggestions were appropriate rather than leaving people to their own devices.  I had a friend who didn't register at all and some older / more distant family members brought gifts that they already had and they got about 10 picture frames with their wedding date / last name on them ... which kind of sucked since she didn't take his last name!

NO!

[Deleted User]

I think you should register. Some people insist on giving boxed gifts and if you register, you are less likely to end up with something you hate and can't return. 

Viczaesar

BrinkyDink16 said:

We made a small registry and included a gifts section in our "Handbook for the Recently Invited" we sent out with our invitations.  The number one thing in that section is that gifts are in no way necessary and I really hope people listen to that.  We don't really NEED anything since we've lived together for so long now but we felt a small registry and some suggestions were appropriate rather than leaving people to their own devices.  I had a friend who didn't register at all and some older / more distant family members brought gifts that they already had and they got about 10 picture frames with their wedding date / last name on them ... which kind of sucked since she didn't take his last name!

Of course you did.

artbyallie

NicRen17 said:

I am not planning to have any showers (I am not expecting anyone to throw one). I wasn't planning on registering for gifts. 

My FMIL has mentioned several times that we should register JIC someone would like to get us a gift. I am feeling a little side-eyeing to the whole thing. I understand where she's coming but I feel like it might be a little gift grabby. IF I did register, it would be for things like towels, bedding, small applicances like toaster, coffee maker, ect.

Opinions?

I'm not seeing the problem since this is exactly the type of thing you are supposed to register for so people don't have to take a wild guess at what colors you use in your home.

thespeshulestsnowflake

WTF is a "Handbook for the Recently Invited"???

BrinkyDink16

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

WTF is a "Handbook for the Recently Invited"???

My FH was very against a wedding website so we took the information you'd generally find on there like directions to the venue, hotel accommodations, information about costumes and that it's a no kids wedding, etc. and turned it into a pamphlet.  On the front cover of it we have the photo of the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased" from Beetlejuice and just photo shopped over the word Deceased with Invited.  They looked great and people have been loving them.  We've gotten a bunch of message / calls from guests about them

Maggie0829

BrinkyDink16 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

WTF is a "Handbook for the Recently Invited"???

My FH was very against a wedding website so we took the information you'd generally find on there like directions to the venue, hotel accommodations, information about costumes and that it's a no kids wedding, etc. and turned it into a pamphlet.  On the front cover of it we have the photo of the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased" from Beetlejuice and just photo shopped over the word Deceased with Invited.  They looked great and people have been loving them.  We've gotten a bunch of message / calls from guests about them

NicRen17

Ok Thank you! We will probably just list it on our website and be done with that. If anyone asks, we will point them to our website. I don't plan on registering for china, furniture, ect.

[Deleted User]

Registering probably helps reduce getting things you don't want/need/aren't your style.  But it won't stop anyone from giving what they want to give; registry or not.

For example, I already know (99% sure) fiance and I are getting a quilt from his great aunt-  we are not really quilt people (me especially). 

Can I just say I'm glad I know so I can practice my "no, this isn't ugly" face.  I just know that 99 out of 100 quilts I look at I don't like so I'm glad this isn't a gift I'm not expecting.

Heffalump

BrinkyDink16 said:

We made a small registry and included a gifts section in our "Handbook for the Recently Invited" we sent out with our invitations. 

My ILs have a phrase for exactly this type of situation; as I read this, I heard FIL's voice drawling "Ain't surprised."

NicRen17

Yea I'm perfectly fine with registered gifts, I am perfectly fine with checks or cash or gift cards, I am perfectly fine with just a congratulations card. 

I am honestly perfectly fine with a attending RSVP and the person showing up! 

Keeping things etiquette-ly polite and just looking forward to my family being present!

Knottie80779227

BrinkyDink16 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

WTF is a "Handbook for the Recently Invited"???

My FH was very against a wedding website so we took the information you'd generally find on there like directions to the venue, hotel accommodations, information about costumes and that it's a no kids wedding, etc. and turned it into a pamphlet.  On the front cover of it we have the photo of the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased" from Beetlejuice and just photo shopped over the word Deceased with Invited.  They looked great and people have been loving them.  We've gotten a bunch of message / calls from guests about them

Did you get married on Halloween? I will be doing the same this year and we are having an insert in our invitations that reads "All the Gory Details" and lists our directions, hotel accommadations, and attire request (we're not doing costumes, just normal cocktail attire and we didnt' want anyone confused). I completely got your reference in the original post. Who hasn't seen Beetlejuice?!

justsie

Knottie80779227 said:

BrinkyDink16 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

WTF is a "Handbook for the Recently Invited"???

My FH was very against a wedding website so we took the information you'd generally find on there like directions to the venue, hotel accommodations, information about costumes and that it's a no kids wedding, etc. and turned it into a pamphlet.  On the front cover of it we have the photo of the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased" from Beetlejuice and just photo shopped over the word Deceased with Invited.  They looked great and people have been loving them.  We've gotten a bunch of message / calls from guests about them

Did you get married on Halloween? I will be doing the same this year and we are having an insert in our invitations that reads "All the Gory Details" and lists our directions, hotel accommadations, and attire request (we're not doing costumes, just normal cocktail attire and we didnt' want anyone confused). I completely got your reference in the original post. Who hasn't seen Beetlejuice?!

Unless your wedding is a black tie event you should not dictate what your guests wear. The are adults and can decide for themselves what to wear.

Viczaesar

Knottie80779227 said:

BrinkyDink16 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

WTF is a "Handbook for the Recently Invited"???

My FH was very against a wedding website so we took the information you'd generally find on there like directions to the venue, hotel accommodations, information about costumes and that it's a no kids wedding, etc. and turned it into a pamphlet.  On the front cover of it we have the photo of the "Handbook for the Recently Deceased" from Beetlejuice and just photo shopped over the word Deceased with Invited.  They looked great and people have been loving them.  We've gotten a bunch of message / calls from guests about them

Did you get married on Halloween? I will be doing the same this year and we are having an insert in our invitations that reads "All the Gory Details" and lists our directions, hotel accommadations, and attire request (we're not doing costumes, just normal cocktail attire and we didnt' want anyone confused). I completely got your reference in the original post. Who hasn't seen Beetlejuice?!

It's not okay to tell your guests "cocktail attire."