Family Birthdays and Wedding Dates

hellohkb

AddieCake said:

But @hellohkb You said you wouldn't be thrilled if you had to go to a wedding your birthday weekend. I don't understand that.

If it's someone I don't know well I wouldn't be "thrilled" but I wouldn't be huffing and puffing either.

beachyone15

I kind of get it. We were considering a date that was my MIL's birthday. It wasn't so much about the actual wedding day, but rather our anniversary. I had a feeling (knowing my MIL) that she would be upset if we didn't see her on her birthday (for example, if we had planned an anniversary trip) and frankly, I just didn't want to deal with the whining. So we picked a different date, NBD. OP - if I were you, I would definitely bring it up to your sister and see how she feels.

hellohkb

beachyone15 said:

I kind of get it. We were considering a date that was my MIL's birthday. It wasn't so much about the actual wedding day, but rather our anniversary. I had a feeling (knowing my MIL) that she would be upset if we didn't see her on her birthday (for example, if we had planned an anniversary trip) and frankly, I just didn't want to deal with the whining. So we picked a different date, NBD. OP - if I were you, I would definitely bring it up to your sister and see how she feels.

This was a huge reason I didn't pick the date before my moms birthday. We like to travel for anniversaries so this could have posed a problem because I like to see my mom on her birtbday.

lyndausvi

I honestly can not remember the last time I spent a birthday with my family.   I'm thinking it had to have been a good 20 years ago.     The last time I saw my mom on her birthday was about 10 years ago when she came to me and I arranged for my sister and aunt to surprise her for her 60th.

I saw my dad the week before his 70th, but not on his actual birthday.   

My sister was born the day after my parents anniversary.  They could not get away for years.  Mostly because it was the start of school, not only because of my sister's birthday.

Sure it would be nice to see them, but it's not a top priority either.   I certainly would not miss out on a good location due to something like that.

YogaSandy

I'm one of the adults who LOVES my birthday. In fact it is a (mostly joking) week long celebration called Michelle-a-polooza. Really, the only "requirement" of DH and my sister (my dad plays sometimes for fun) is to wish me a happy Michelle-a-polooza. I would maybe grumble (mostly jokingly) to DH about attending a wedding on my birthday. But only to DH and I would go (if it was one I was planning on attending anyway).

My BFF got married on her BIL's birthday. They didn't have wedding cake. They had birthday cake. My BIL and SIL got married on the other SIL's birthday. It was acknowledged. I don't know what happened in regards to the cake, as I left early because I was 7.5 months pregnant and exhausted. And SIL was a bridesmaid. The ONLY problem with the birthday and anniversary being on the same date is it is difficult to squeeze them into the same box (especially when it is on the holiday Monday) when I make the family calendar for Christmas presents.

I got married on what should have been my parents anniversary. They were supposed to get married that day, but a forest fire caused them to be evacuated and they got married two weeks later. They were offered to get married on the jet, but they turned it down. So there are worse things that could happen in regards to your wedding date and conflicts.

banana468

lyndausvi said:

I honestly can not remember the last time I spent a birthday with my family.   I'm thinking it had to have been a good 20 years ago.     The last time I saw my mom on her birthday was about 10 years ago when she came to me and I arranged for my sister and aunt to surprise her for her 60th.

I saw my dad the week before his 70th, but not on his actual birthday.   

My sister was born the day after my parents anniversary.  They could not get away for years.  Mostly because it was the start of school, not only because of my sister's birthday.

Sure it would be nice to see them, but it's not a top priority either.   I certainly would not miss out on a good location due to something like that.

Family dynamics can be a big part of how things play out though. My mom and dad are super low key about their birthdays. I think if our wedding day was MIL's birthday she'd think it was a reason to celebrate together every year.

onefootinthebayou

abcdevonn said:

Maggie0829 said:

Knottie32957159 said:

The main reason I was concerned about it is because the dates are my sister's birthday, who is my  maid of honor, and her son's (my nephew) birthday.

Then why not just talk to your sister about it?  She is a VIP so checking with her on the dates is kind of a necessary thing anyways.  Tell her the dates and see if she says anything.  She may not care.  She may only care about her sons birthday.  But the only thing you can do is talk to her and see what she says.

But I am still confused as to why sharing your anniversary with either of their b-days is something that you don't want to do.

If you are concerned, check with your sister. My wedding date is three days before my mom's birthday so it falls on her "birthday weekend" or whatever. When I asked her if she minded she laughed in my face and said it's a great excuse for her to forget her birthday! 

 I always try to make a big deal about my parents' birthdays because they generally don't like them, so I make sure they feel special like they always did to me (now that I can afford it). But I personally also don't get the big deal about adult birthdays. I have adult friends who wig about when people don't come out to celebrate with them, and I'm like, bro, I am under all these blankets with my bra off, but I DID send you a great Happy Birthday text complete with as many emojis as possible, so shove off.

^^^ THIS...Hahaha you are my new favorite Knottie. I can't bold on mobile but omg your last sentence basically describes me right now, bralessly wishing happy bday to a FB friend from the comfort & warmth of my hotel bed. You are totally feeling me, bro!

mrscomposer

My uncle got married on my dad's 30th birthday, and NO ONE remembered until half way through the reception.  Seriously.  In all the lead up to this wedding, no one remembered that it was Dad's birthday.  The world kept turning.

Also, I need a do-over.  I need to be married on Talk Like a Pirate day.  Or Star Wars day.  Or - OOOH! - Impossible Astronaut Day!!!

I need do-overs for my do-overs.

[Deleted User]

onefootinthebayou said:

Maggie0829 said:

Knottie32957159 said:

The main reason I was concerned about it is because the dates are my sister's birthday, who is my  maid of honor, and her son's (my nephew) birthday.

Then why not just talk to your sister about it?  She is a VIP so checking with her on the dates is kind of a necessary thing anyways.  Tell her the dates and see if she says anything.  She may not care.  She may only care about her sons birthday.  But the only thing you can do is talk to her and see what she says.

But I am still confused as to why sharing your anniversary with either of their b-days is something that you don't want to do.

If you are concerned, check with your sister. My wedding date is three days before my mom's birthday so it falls on her "birthday weekend" or whatever. When I asked her if she minded she laughed in my face and said it's a great excuse for her to forget her birthday! 

 I always try to make a big deal about my parents' birthdays because they generally don't like them, so I make sure they feel special like they always did to me (now that I can afford it). But I personally also don't get the big deal about adult birthdays. I have adult friends who wig about when people don't come out to celebrate with them, and I'm like, bro, I am under all these blankets with my bra off, but I DID send you a great Happy Birthday text complete with as many emojis as possible, so shove off.

^^^ THIS...Hahaha you are my new favorite Knottie. I can't bold on mobile but omg your last sentence basically describes me right now, bralessly wishing happy bday to a FB friend from the comfort & warmth of my hotel bed. You are totally feeling me, bro!

I tried really hard to find a bra-tossing gif, but I couldn't, so here you go:

Thankfully, all my close friends understand when I respond with, "I would, but I just took my bra off." 

thisismynickname2

Y'all. 

pinkcow13

hellohkb said:

But @hellohkb You said you wouldn't be thrilled if you had to go to a wedding your birthday weekend. I don't understand that.

If it's someone I don't know well I wouldn't be "thrilled" but I wouldn't be huffing and puffing either.

I'm with you, I'm a huge birthday person. I always have been. My parents always did something big for my bday as a kid, and it just kept going into adulthood. Like, I don't have just a birthday, I have a birthday "week" lol. With that being said though, I would never bitch to anyone about their wedding falling on my birthday, or anything like that. I actually would love to attend a wedding on my birthday or birthday weekend. I love weddings, and free booze! If there's a cash bar at this wedding though, all hell would break loose

MandyMost

AddieCake said:

I just never understand adults making a big deal about their birthdays.

Or their anniversaries. 

MandyMost

Really, what I don't understand is having to celebrate a birthday, or an anniversary, in a big way on the exact day. Does it really matter? If you like to do something nice to for your mom for her birthday, does it really matter if you do it the week before or after? Or the month before or after? If your birthday/anniversary is on a Tuesday and you have to be at work early the next morning...isn't it just as good to celebrate it over the weekend? 

Maggie0829

MandyMost said:

Really, what I don't understand is having to celebrate a birthday, or an anniversary, in a big way on the exact day. Does it really matter? If you like to do something nice to for your mom for her birthday, does it really matter if you do it the week before or after? Or the month before or after? If your birthday/anniversary is on a Tuesday and you have to be at work early the next morning...isn't it just as good to celebrate it over the weekend? 

This is usually my line of thinking.  It is like when I hear couples say that they don't want to get married on a Sunday because then their first anniversary will fall on a Monday (unless they get married in a leap year) and they have to work.  Um, so celebrate it the weekend before or after. Not celebrating exactly on the day is not the end of the world.

Edited because I double quoted randomly.

drunkenwitch

AddieCake said:

I just never understand adults making a big deal about their birthdays.

@AddieCake Google Patton Oswalt and his bit about birthdays, you'll love it.

arrippa

AddieCake said:

I just never understand adults making a big deal about their birthdays.

But..but ..you get cake. Birthdays are just an excuse to eat cake.

MrsMack10612

mrscomposer said:

My uncle got married on my dad's 30th birthday, and NO ONE remembered until half way through the reception.  Seriously.  In all the lead up to this wedding, no one remembered that it was Dad's birthday.  The world kept turning.

Also, I need a do-over.  I need to be married on Talk Like a Pirate day.  Or Star Wars day.  Or - OOOH! - Impossible Astronaut Day!!!

I need do-overs for my do-overs.

My best friend got married on Star Wars day. 

My rehearsal dinner fell on my dad's youngest's birthday (parents are divorced, second marriage, I am not close to the children).  He initially said he couldn't come because of it (she's an adult not a child) and I was disappointed (there was a lot of other drama going on about him/his family/my wedding as well).  Then he made a big hoorah about how they rearranged all their plans.

In my family, I haven't seen my parents or my sibs (excluding my sister as we live close) on anybody's birthday in 20 or 30 years.  A card, a phone call, a text, an email, that's it.  I do not understand the big to do about adult birthdays.  Especially non-big ones (30, 40, 50 etc).

lyndausvi

MandyMost said:

Really, what I don't understand is having to celebrate a birthday, or an anniversary, in a big way on the exact day. Does it really matter? If you like to do something nice to for your mom for her birthday, does it really matter if you do it the week before or after? Or the month before or after? If your birthday/anniversary is on a Tuesday and you have to be at work early the next morning...isn't it just as good to celebrate it over the weekend? 

This.

My mom's 70th in in Dec.   The only time her kids and grandkids can get together in in Oct.  My dad is taking her to NYC that weekend and all of us are surprising us there.  19 of us.    Sure it's 2 months early, but it should not diminish the event.

My birthday is tomorrow.   A Friday, should be an easy day to celebrate, right?  At least the night, no?  Well due to a huge wedding at the club DH and I have to work.  I'm actually working both jobs tomorrow.   The plan is to celebrate on Sunday.  I have the day off, DH isn't quite if he is off yet.   Regardless I will be hanging with other friends to celebrate.   

AddieCake

arrippa said:

AddieCake said:

I just never understand adults making a big deal about their birthdays.

But..but ..you get cake. Birthdays are just an excuse to eat cake.

I can eat the cake while not making a big deal about it being my birthday.

SP29

I do agree about cake... that is my first thought, "Oh, it's my birthday next week? Sweet, that means I get to eat cake!". But I can turn eating cake into a week long event, I don' t need "one" day

And weddings tend to have cake, or other desert

OP- I would ask your sister about the date, as she is a VIP. Otherwise, plan on! You could bring out a special birthday cake, or play a special song for her.

When I graduated high school, my birthday was on graduation day. We had our reception that night. At one point, one of my friends told the DJ. I got a shout out and special song played- wooo! Probably would've been better as a wedding, because then I would've had cake and alcohol to drink .