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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

wedding regrets

hey ladies so i am in the midst of planning and was wondering if any of you had any wedding regrets of things you wished you had or had not done? 

Re: wedding regrets

  • Off the top of my head:
    We bought way too much beer. I was afraid that we would run out, but I should have listened to my gut instinct. (I know my guest better than the person who suggested that my guest might drink more!)
    -Also, I didn't even consider giving the caterer a lower number than the rsvp guests (didn't factor in no shows.) We had about 8 no shows, so that was a waste of money.

    Other than that- no other regrets.
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  • Not really regrets, just words of wisdom

    -If your hotel calls 9 days before the wedding and cancels the block of rooms for your out-of town in-laws, bridal party, and other guests, you have the right to be furious (jk...kinda) .

    --Have a good DJ, have good food--that's all people remember and care about. 
    -Don't plan a wedding while in law school
    -It's you and hubby's day.  You're not going to make everyone happy so when in doubt, pick what makes you happy.
    -The day goes by quickly, set aside some time for you to enjoy each other.
    -Remember that the wedding day is about 12 hours long, things will go wrong and you'll be too busy to notice, ENJOY IT it goes fast.  
    -Work on preparing for married life, the days after your wedding are the most important.
    -Don't get too caught up with the stupid little details. No one really notices anyway
     -Make a list of people you want to get photos with--I didn't get ANY pictures with my aunt or godfather, I was really disappointed.
  • I will echo making sure you have a list of pictures you want. I did this, but I know in the whirlwind I would have forgotten some if I hadn't.

    Take some time to have alone with your FI on the day. We had a sweetheart table, and it was so great to have time to just relax and talk with each other privately.

    EAT LUNCH!!!!! I didn't and was starving.
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  • I'll ditto the list of must have pictures. 

    I don't have any other regrets really but I do think I settled on my dress and now the more I look at it (in pictures) the less I like it. 
  • In Response to Re: wedding regrets:
    [QUOTE]I wish we had gone with a different photographer.  We got some great shots, but it wasn't the look/vibe I was going for.
    Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

    Me too which leads me to my point of making time for photos. They were a lot of people we did not get to take pictures with.
  • Photos for sure!  I spent many days crying after the wedding about pictures...not good
  • Ditto on the list of must have shots, I didn't get a lot and I was really disappointed about that.

  • Ditto the shot list for the photographer.  I had one and it was a lifesaver.  We were able to get through all the posed shots very quickly and it was very organized.   I am kinda sorta regretting not having a videographer, but I think once I get my pics back I will be ok with that decision.  My photographer was my big splurge, and I was iffy on the idea of a videographer.  I decided to cut that from the budget in order to upgrade to a different photography package.

  • I wish we would have gotten a videographer.  The pictures captured moments, but there is sooooooo much you don't see when you're the bride and that a photographer alone can't encompass.

    Secondly, I really wish I would have made some more special time for my mom and dad.  It's such a whirlwind day, don't forget to take time for the people you really want to share the day with.  It's over before you know it. 
  • Definitely the must take picture list, we didnt get a single photo of my mom, dad, sister, hubby and I, I had to end up photoshopping one together!

    My one regret is my flowers, I went with silks, they came apart and look horrible in the video and photos of the ceremony!
  • Ditto on the shot list - that's one piece of advice I took to heart from other brides here and I made sure I had one.  We got almost every grouping we wanted (some I just didn't even think about until after the wedding, but it was NBD in the grand scheme of things).  Also, don't be afraid to tell your photographer different groups you want to get or different poses you want to try. 

    Other than that, the only thing I was *disappointed* in was our food portions.  When we did our tasting, there was a different coordinator and chef and the plates they presented were a lot more substantial.  On the wedding day itself, the portions were pretty sad and I was a little upset that the new coordinator assured us that the plates would be the same, so we didn't do a new tasting.  I can't say it was a 'regret' because it wasn't a planning decision that affected that, just a venue mishap.  At least with all the appetizers, bread, cake, etc, there was enough food, but I'm still a little annoyed we paid so much for so little in the entree.
  • all great tips- thanks!!
  • Figure out who should be at the family photos (if you're doing them before the wedding) and make sure the parents know who is and is not expected.  That way, when your FI's ENTIRE family shows up an hour early you're not confused.

    Plan out when your father will see you for the first time.  My dad walked in while I was trying to get an eyelash out of my eye and the bridal party was running around like crazy.  I wish we could have had a special moment (I'm such a daddy's girl).

    Remember - no matter what the weather is like, your day will be perfect.  We had a blizzard during our late October wedding.  There was nothing I could do about it, so I tried to just stay calm and enjoy my day.  In the end only 30 of over 200 guests didn't make it and the rest of the night went off without a hitch.
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  • Ditto pps about the shot list.  We had one and it was such a good call.  If you can afford it, go for the videographer.  I really didn't think it was a big deal until after our wedding and now I really wish I had footage at least of our ceremony and the dances and toasts.  We did hire a great photographer so we love our photos, but still, video would have been nice.  

    The only thing that went wrong that really annoyed me is that there was supposed to be flower petals down the aisle as an aisle runner type of thing before the flower girl went down sprinkling more and somehow that didn't happen and the FG got all of the petals.  It made for a cute wedding moment but I really really always wanted to see that image of it being covered in petals and it didn't happen.  

    Other than that, definitely eat lunch, take everything in stride, take a minute to look around at your reception and appreciate everything that you spent time planning, and stay by your husband as much as you can!  
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  • The only thing I regret is not asking if I could have the rest of my piece of cake I didn't finish boxed up!  It was sooo good but I couldn't finish it!  I want it back.  lol.

    (We did save the top layer to be frozen for our first anniversary.)

    Otherwise, our wedding was amazing!
  • edited December 2011
    I really enjoyed my wedding. My mother in law was my florist and wedding planner. She brought our woodland / vineyard theme to life and I couldn't be any happier. Our photographer was Caitlin Thomas Photography based from Pittsburgh Pa... a very wonderful woman who I went to college with. She worked with us during our entire engagement  and took SO many beautiful photos.

    Three things I would change:

    Prior to getting married, my husband and I thought we would have enough time to make rounds at all the tables where our guests were seated at. To our surprise, we had no time! Everything happened so quickly and by the time we got to the third table, we were called to go someplace else (For instance, cutting the cake, dance, etc) No one warns you about these things Tongue out

    Although our photographer was amazing to work with, I recommend writing a list of the people you want to get pictures with because time runs so fast you might forget someone.

    I asked my Uncle to film the ceremony and reception because I didn't think my husband and I needed a professional videographer. As I look back on the decision, it could of been worth the extra splurge! Nothing against my Uncle though because he did capture all the special moments!
  • Ditto on the list of photos you want.  And the videographer.  I didn't know how much I would not "soak up" in the moment.  And my father gave the most amazing speech.  I wish I had it on video to re-watch.  
  • In Response to Re: wedding regrets:
    [QUOTE]- Make a list of people you want to get photos with--I didn't get ANY pictures with my aunt or godfather, I was really disappointed. -
    Posted by Chilattegirl[/QUOTE]

    THIS.  My husband got individual shots of him with each member of his side of the wedding party, while I didn't get any shots of me with each of my girls.  I didn't even realize it until our photos came back and I was really bumming.
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  • In Response to Re: wedding regrets:
    [QUOTE]If you can afford it, go for the videographer.  I really didn't think it was a big deal until after our wedding and now I really wish I had footage at least of our ceremony and the dances and toasts.
    Posted by melissamather[/QUOTE]

    This too.  We initially weren't going to have one since we couldn't afford it.  Then one of my co-workers told me that her husband would be happy to be our videographer for only $75.  The video turned out beautifully and I'm thrilled that we had him do it, and for so cheap too!
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  • Go with a dress you truly love and not just one you think you love, or one that you think you can learn to love just because it's less expensive.
  • would have gotten a videographer.

    would have had my MOM and my dad walk me down the aisle.

    would have had the ceremony musicians at the rehearsal. my father was like 'WE HAVE TO GO LETS GO LETS GO' and was practically dragging me out the door down the aisle. I will NEVER let him live that down. I'm trying not to let it keep me up at night anymore. lol
    Married the love of my life on Friday, December 16, 2011!
  • Go with the list you made for your wedding photos. I was supposed to have photos with my entire family. Didn't happen. However, I did  my husband and I with individuals...........

    Practice your lines if possible. I said wing instead of ring.......

    I would have had my veil lifted before saying our vows. I wore the veil the entire time throughout the ceremony. Would've liked everyone to see me...
  • i think i may have decided on a dress to quickly.

    you cannot possibly make everyone happy.

    ENJOY your day.

    list of photos you want.
  • 1. Take a list of the payments you have made with you.  Our organist actually tried to demand payment as we were taking our formal pics.  He didn't believe I paid him and pushed the issue aggressively until I whipped out the copy of the check he had depositted several weeks earlier.
    2. Pack up everything you need and label the boxes with general contents and where it goes (church, room, recepttion).  Do this several days in advance.
    3. Get the videographer.  We loved watching our video.
    4. Confirm ALL details with the vendors the day before so it is fresh in their heads.
    5. Don't spend the whole time taking pictures.  We wanted a bunch of pics and left the reception and later the dance floor to get them.  Sadly, I missed hanging out and dancing with the guests.
    6. Tell everyone to buzz off and HAVE THE WEDDING YOU WANT. My MIL and his fam drove me nuts.  They hired our transportation without my knowledge.  They pelted us with rice, which I hated.  I wish I would have been more adamant with them to butt out.
  • My regret: the photographer.  I should've spent more time than the amount of the time and stress I had already put in in searching for one.  I cried so hard after getting my photos because they were not what I expected.  I mean they weren't bad but out of like the 700 I got I only liked 5 or something.  I should've spent more money on the photographer after realizing how important it was to me after the wedding...oh well :)

    And words of wisdom: don't sweat the details, at the end of the day you will be too busy and your guests will be too busy enjoying themselves to really care whether or not your maid of honor walked in with the bestman or by herself :)
  • I don't want this to sound self-centered but I wouldnt have changed a thing about our July wedding. We had the most amazing day. From the moment I woke up until the night my now husband and I went to sleep. Just remember to enjoy yourselves and dont let the small stuff get in the way of that! Best of luck and Congrats! xoxo 
  • My regrets were.....
    - I had a first look which i loved but since we did the first look we got a lot of the pictures out of the way b/4 the ceremony which was outside. The regret i have is that the pictures were taken where the ceremony was so when the guests arrived the bridal party went over to family and friends and left us and we didn't get all the pictures we wanted.
    -My dad and I didn't talk for a few years but a week b/4 the wedding we started talking but i had already set up for my mom and brother to walk me down the aisle and for my mom to dance with me. I really wish i would have taken the time out to have just one dance with my dad.
    -I wish I hadn't picked my bridal party so soon. I should have waited.Turns out my MOH decided one month to the day out to go nuts and she bailed on me. If i would have waited and thought a little better this may have never happened.
    - I wish i would have had a videographer. There are some great moments that didn't get captured.
    - I wish i would have had more posses and more pictures but the say went so fast we didn't have the time or think about the list until it was to late.
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