Dance Floor/Seating Concerns

Knottie46495298

Hello!

I have two concerns with my venue. First, I'll give a little background information. We are set on getting married in the very small two-stoplight town where we met at college, and we want a fairly small wedding. This leaves about one option for choosing a venue.

If we kept our guest list to 100 or fewer, all guests would be seated in one room. However, there would be a second room (just across the hall) for dancing, the bar, the cake table, and extra tables/seating. I've read a lot about this online, and people say while not ideal, it's not a huge deal. However, the DJ I have been communicating with has been pretty negative about it.

Second, our guest list is at 150. This means we would need to place several tables in the second room, which seems really distasteful to me. However, those guests would be in the room with the dance floor, bar, cake, etc. (so as a guest, I wouldn't mind!)

So 1. Thoughts on dance floor being in separate room? Can it work without killing the vibe?

And 2. Can you put guests in that room without them feeling disconnected?

Thanks!

[Deleted User]

1. It will kill vibe, as it will make it hard to get everyone together to watch your first dance and cake cutting. Guests may not hear the announcement since the DJ will be in the other room. Also with his equipment being in the other room (speakers) it will be hard for guests to hear introductions of bridal party making their entrance and then also difficult to hear the toasts.

2, Now the people in the other room will be able to hear everything, but see nothing. If I were sitted in the other room where I couldn't see anything, I would feel like a second rate guest.Then once the dancing starts, if I happen to get up, will I lose my seat to someone who came in from the other room?

I get that this town has special meaning for you and FI, but logistically, the layout of the venue isn't great. I agree with your DJ. IMO, you either need to reduce your guest list to so at least you can get everyone in the same room, or you need to find a different venue, even if it means doing it in a different town.

MobKaz

Knottie46495298 said:

Hello!

I have two concerns with my venue. First, I'll give a little background information. We are set on getting married in the very small two-stoplight town where we met at college, and we want a fairly small wedding. This leaves about one option for choosing a venue.

If we kept our guest list to 100 or fewer, all guests would be seated in one room. However, there would be a second room (just across the hall) for dancing, the bar, the cake table, and extra tables/seating. I've read a lot about this online, and people say while not ideal, it's not a huge deal. However, the DJ I have been communicating with has been pretty negative about it.

Second, our guest list is at 150. This means we would need to place several tables in the second room, which seems really distasteful to me. However, those guests would be in the room with the dance floor, bar, cake, etc. (so as a guest, I wouldn't mind!)

So 1. Thoughts on dance floor being in separate room? Can it work without killing the vibe?

And 2. Can you put guests in that room without them feeling disconnected?

Thanks!

Your first mistake was in selecting a venue that does not jive with your guest list. I certainly do not consider a guest list of 150 to be a "fairly small wedding". 

You need to do everything you can to be a gracious host.  If you cannot cut your list down to the comfortable and more appropriate size of 100 guests, then you need to find a way to host all of your guests equally.  The focus of the reception is to share a meal together.  That is when heartfelt toasts are offered.  I would feel more than disconnected if I were seated in a separate room.  I would feel hurt and less than welcome.  That is not the way to extend an invitation.  I would be less concerned about killing any "vibe" and more concerned about the feeling of your guests.

AddieCake

I always think it will kill the vibe, as Erikan said, to have dancing in a different room. I had a 2-room reception, and I regret it. We did not have dancing, but I had 2 tables that had to be outside because the reception space wasn't large enough for all of them. I seated most of my former students who had been invited and their SOs out there, and I justified it that it was a "clear line" and that they would all know each other and not care. A couple of them joked with me about it at the reception, and even though it was just "jokes," there was, obviously, some disapproval or hurt there. There had been a larger room on the same property that I could have gone with, but since the wedding was small, I worried it would look too empty in the larger room. I wish I had gone with it, though. I never should have split up my guests. 

ShesSoCold

I agree with @MobKaz. Your first concern needs to be the guest list - it would be really rude to seat people in a separate room.

But having the dance floor in a separate room might not be that big of a deal, if done well. I recently went to a wedding where the bar, DJ and dance floor were in one room (also where cocktail hour was) and dinner was in another room. The couple got introduced in the dance floor room right at the end of cocktail hour and did their first dance. Then the DJ asked everyone to go into the next room for dinner. NBD. Since music doesn't need to be loud during dinner, the DJ had one small table and speaker in the corner of the dinner room. The waitstaff took drink orders and brought people drinks from the bar. Then when dinner was over, people went back into the first room for dancing, but the dinner room was still open and available to everyone. I thought it worked out really well. But I can see ways where it wouldn't work out so well, so you gotta be careful and make sure to do it right.

climbingsingle

I've been to a wedding where the dance floor was in another room. And I agree that it killed the vibe. It felt like two very separate events. And not many people danced. I personally think you need to find a different venue that allows you to have everyone one of your guests in ONE room. 

redwoodoriginal

Do not separate the seating not two rooms. That is a TERRRRRIBLE idea. Cut your list or get a venue with ONE room big enough. Don't make your guests feel like shit by throwing them far away from the main action. As PPs have stated, been that guest and it certainly didn't make us feel warm and fuzzy to be in the back room where we couldn't hear or see a damn thing! ---------------------------why no boxes----------------------------------------------------- As far as the dancing in the other room- I had that set up for my small-ish wedding (70ish ppl)- tables in one room, dancing in the other. I made it so the cocktail "hour" (30ish min while the ceremony side was converted into tables for dinner) was in the dancing room, so my H and I went and took about 15min of actually married pics and a few min of just us "we're legit married!" time, so when we came into the cocktail hour/ dance room, ppl were there, we started to say hi, and then we went right into our first dance, then f/d, m/s dance, and then ushered everyone to their tables. Once dinner was basically done and the music switched over to more dancing than dinner time music, (and after all the table visits), i got up and made it known I was going to go dance, so people started mingling their way across the "hall"- it was not a real hall just a connecting space where the desserts were all laid out so people were moving around there regardless and there were no doorways so it was easy to see the tables and the dancing side. We had the music filtering into both rooms, so that wasn't an issue.

KatWAG

Option 3: Find a new venue.

Casadena

I have been to a couple wedding where the dance floor/bar was in another room and overall, it was not a big deal BUT the entire crowd was big partiers so I doubt many people would have been sitting anyway.  HOWEVER, I was one of the unfortunate "overflow" tables that they took away after dinner (seriously, I didn't even get cake) because it was on the dance floor in the other room.  It was 3 years ago and clearly I'm still irritated.  That part is absolutely rude - don't do it!

Jen4948

Either cut your guest list down to 100 guests or fewer or find a new venue.

Putting the dance floor in a separate room will kill the vibe, and putting guests in a separate room would be incredibly rude.

Knottie46495298

Thank you all for your feedback. I understand that I owe each and every one of my guests respect, but I think a lot of complaints can be petty. 

I'm not budging on location, so it looks like cutting the guest list down may be the only option. I don't think the dance floor will be THAT big of a deal, because our guest list consists of mostly party-people. Keeping the reception at my current venue [a hotel] allows people [most who will be drinking] to not have to travel whatsoever, and that's important to me.

I was at a wedding last weekend where dinner was outside, and the cake cutting/spotlight dances/bouquet toss were in a barn. When it was time for these events, someone came outside and yelled, "If you want to see the cake cutting, come into the barn!" And we all got up, moved to the barn, stood around to watch these events, and had fun. NBD.

climbingsingle

Knottie46495298 said:

Thank you all for your feedback. I understand that I owe each and every one of my guests respect, but I think a lot of complaints can be petty. 

I'm not budging on location, so it looks like cutting the guest list down may be the only option. I don't think the dance floor will be THAT big of a deal, because our guest list consists of mostly party-people. Keeping the reception at my current venue [a hotel] allows people [most who will be drinking] to not have to travel whatsoever, and that's important to me.

I was at a wedding last weekend where dinner was outside, and the cake cutting/spotlight dances/bouquet toss were in a barn. When it was time for these events, someone came outside and yelled, "If you want to see the cake cutting, come into the barn!" And we all got up, moved to the barn, stood around to watch these events, and had fun. NBD.

So, why did you post this? It doesn't seem like you were actually looking for opinions or advice. 

ShesSoCold

Knottie46495298 said:

Thank you all for your feedback. I understand that I owe each and every one of my guests respect, but I think a lot of complaints can be petty. 

I'm not budging on location, so it looks like cutting the guest list down may be the only option. I don't think the dance floor will be THAT big of a deal, because our guest list consists of mostly party-people. Keeping the reception at my current venue [a hotel] allows people [most who will be drinking] to not have to travel whatsoever, and that's important to me.

I was at a wedding last weekend where dinner was outside, and the cake cutting/spotlight dances/bouquet toss were in a barn. When it was time for these events, someone came outside and yelled, "If you want to see the cake cutting, come into the barn!" And we all got up, moved to the barn, stood around to watch these events, and had fun. NBD.

I don't think separate rooms for dancing and dinner is that big of a deal, but you really gotta think about it and make sure it flows well. Don't shuffle 100 people back and forth several times and don't have things going on in both rooms at the same time. Have the wait staff bring drinks to guests during dinner. Have your spotlight dance(s) at a time when everyone will be the the dancing room (either just before the dance floor opens up to everyone after dinner or if cocktail hour is in the dancing room, at the end of cocktail hour, like in my example) and the same for the cake cutting. See if your DJ can get a microphone and speaker in the dinner room for toasts and dinner music. I would also make sure the dinner room is open all night and that there is some seating and tables in the dancing room.

Knottie46495298

I did take into consideration not having seating in the second room. I made it clear that I am not budging on location, and many suggestions were to do so.

climbingsingle

Knottie46495298 said:

I did take into consideration not having seating in the second room. I made it clear that I am not budging on location, and many suggestions were to do so.

To me, this makes you a bad host. Sorry. Your guests' comfort should be at the top of your list. Not a venue that holds some kind of meaning to you and your FI. 

[Deleted User]

climbingwife said:

Knottie46495298 said:

I did take into consideration not having seating in the second room. I made it clear that I am not budging on location, and many suggestions were to do so.

To me, this makes you a bad host. Sorry. Your guests' comfort should be at the top of your list. Not a venue that holds some kind of meaning to you and your FI. 

Quoted for TRUTH!

justsie

I agree with PPs. You expect your guests to stand for 15+ minutes while you do the cake cutting, spotlight dances, toasts, etc? No thanks. I'd be extra pissed if I found out later that you just chose that spot because its special and didn't care about guest comfort. I can't imagine how a physical place, which will be there for a long time, which you can take pictures at if its so special to you, can outweigh your loved ones. 

MobKaz

Knottie46495298 said:

Thank you all for your feedback. I understand that I owe each and every one of my guests respect, but I think a lot of complaints can be petty. 

I'm not budging on location, so it looks like cutting the guest list down may be the only option. I don't think the dance floor will be THAT big of a deal, because our guest list consists of mostly party-people. Keeping the reception at my current venue [a hotel] allows people [most who will be drinking] to not have to travel whatsoever, and that's important to me.

I was at a wedding last weekend where dinner was outside, and the cake cutting/spotlight dances/bouquet toss were in a barn. When it was time for these events, someone came outside and yelled, "If you want to see the cake cutting, come into the barn!" And we all got up, moved to the barn, stood around to watch these events, and had fun. NBD.

That sounds lovely......

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie46495298 said:

I did take into consideration not having seating in the second room. I made it clear that I am not budging on location, and many suggestions were to do so.

I can't imagine any location being more important to me than having all my friends and family attend my wedding and have a blast with me.

You do realize that whatever venue that you choose to have your ceremony and reception in will develop it's own sentimental value for you, right?  Since it's where you got married. . .

Then again, I don't really have any sense of nostalgia for where I went to HS or where I went to college, nor do I have any nostalgia for those times in general.  Life is waaaaay better now!

The best part of college was not the location, it was meeting my DH and all my dear friends, and I've carried those relationships forward with me.

arrippa

I gave up my dream venue because it had option 1. One room was full of tables for eating and the other was for dancing. I don't like the idea of a reception being split up. 

lembaslover

If it were me I'd find a different venue somewhere else and then go to this town with your husband for your 1 year anniversary or something special like that. My FI and I had our first date at an irish pub and it's a super special place to us but we never considered having a wedding there because it just wouldn't work for our guests plus that sentiment is lost on them. We go there every year on our anniversary and it's our special place. 

Another way to look at it is your DJ is a professional and I'm guessing has done many weddings before so if something about your setup concerns him I'd listen to him. You're paying him to do a job and he's telling you how he can best do it so you're just throwing money away if you ignore him.

littlepep

Knottie46495298 said:

Thank you all for your feedback. I understand that I owe each and every one of my guests respect, but I think a lot of complaints can be petty. 

I'm not budging on location, so it looks like cutting the guest list down may be the only option. I don't think the dance floor will be THAT big of a deal, because our guest list consists of mostly party-people. Keeping the reception at my current venue [a hotel] allows people [most who will be drinking] to not have to travel whatsoever, and that's important to me.

I was at a wedding last weekend where dinner was outside, and the cake cutting/spotlight dances/bouquet toss were in a barn. When it was time for these events, someone came outside and yelled, "If you want to see the cake cutting, come into the barn!" And we all got up, moved to the barn, stood around to watch these events, and had fun. NBD.

This is honestly a very terrible idea. People are not going to enjoy the dancing if it's in a separate room. Many people like to take breaks from dancing to sit. What about their stuff? They have to leave their stuff in a separate room while they dance? No way I'd be doing that. I'd honestly just end up chit chatting at a table with people I know and probably leave early. 

Not sure why you came here if you already made up your mind about what you were going to do.

ETA: I went to a wedding where the dancing was in a separate area and I, along with many other guests, completely missed the dances and introductions. It sucked and I was disappointed. 

bizzy592

If you aren't budging on location (town), you can at least budge on the actual location. Instead of renting out a venue, why don't you have a tent wedding. It's a 2 light town, so probably has a field or 10.