Rehearsal Dinner Drama

Knottie7538444

My FMIL originally offered to set up and pay for our rehearsal dinner. We have a very up & down relationship, she does not always treat my FH with a lot of respect. We have tried to include her as much as we can during the planning process but she seems to never be happy. There is always something we could have done better or in a way that better suits her. She seems to forget that it's OUR wedding! 

Anyway, a few weeks back she had a huge meltdown and in her anger said there "would be no rehearsal dinner". After letting everyone calm down, we spoke with her and she said she regretted saying that and still wants to plan it. She has already made me (and my FH) feel horrible and stressed. I do not want to worrying about 'upsetting' her again and having her cancel our rehearsal dinner at the last minute. I told her I would plan it & pay for it but now she's upset about that.

Do I give in and let her plan our rehearsal--maybe with a back up plan I don't tell her about? Or do I stick to my guns, plan it myself and send her an invite?

[Deleted User]

Mommy needs to learn that actions have consequences. She acted like a child so now you are acting like the adult.

Your fiance should circle back and at minimum let her know you two will be paying and planning from here on out. Personally I'd also tell her that it's because she made a threat that she doesn't get to be involved any more.

You can't have that worry over your heads if she pulls that stunt again 2 days before the wedding and you don't have 100% confidence that she won't- so case closed.

AddieCake

Your fiancé needs to tell her the two of you will be taking care of the rehearsal dinner.

zitiqueen

Knottie7538444 said:

My FMIL originally offered to set up and pay for our rehearsal dinner. We have a very up & down relationship, she does not always treat my FH with a lot of respect. We have tried to include her as much as we can during the planning process but she seems to never be happy. There is always something we could have done better or in a way that better suits her. She seems to forget that it's OUR wedding! 

Anyway, a few weeks back she had a huge meltdown and in her anger said there "would be no rehearsal dinner". After letting everyone calm down, we spoke with her and she said she regretted saying that and still wants to plan it. She has already made me (and my FH) feel horrible and stressed. I do not want to worrying about 'upsetting' her again and having her cancel our rehearsal dinner at the last minute. I told her I would plan it & pay for it but now she's upset about that.

Do I give in and let her plan our rehearsal--maybe with a back up plan I don't tell her about? Or do I stick to my guns, plan it myself and send her an invite?

You've made the right decision in deciding to pay for it yourselves, but your FI needs to be the one to communicate with her, not you.

As far as the last few sentences that I bolded? Replace "I" with "we", replace "my" with "ours" and replace "myself" with "ourselves." This isn't just your wedding.