Can I make an addition to my bridal party

Knottie80779227

I am having three bridesmaids in my weddig; however from the beginning I have one friend that I think I should've invited. He lives across the state and has already made it clear he would not miss my wedding for the world. He has always been a good friend, but throughout the last year he has been one of my closest confidants and truly has talked to me about the wedding and asked for updates and pictures on a weekly basis. In hindsight, I should have just asked him from the beginning, I'm not sure why I wavered on the idea of having a bridesman, it probably had a little do with the fact that I have never seen it done before. My bridal shower has come and gone and we are a little under 3 months to go until the wedding day. I want nothing more than him to stand up there alongside me while I get married and I would love if he would be a part of the days events with me and I think he would be honored to do so as well. The boys have not rented tuxes yet anyway (they don't need to do so until 30 days out), so he would still have plenty of time to do that. That would really be the only thing I would ask him to do. I'm sure it wasn't the best move not including him from the start, but is it ok for me to ask him to stand up there with me on the wedding day? In my gut I feel it is the right move, and probably a little unconventional for waiting so long, but I think he would be delighted in the end and we would both be very happy.

KatWAG

Knottie80779227 said:

I am having three bridesmaids in my weddig; however from the beginning I have one friend that I think I should've invited. He lives across the state and has already made it clear he would not miss my wedding for the world. He has always been a good friend, but throughout the last year he has been one of my closest confidants and truly has talked to me about the wedding and asked for updates and pictures on a weekly basis. In hindsight, I should have just asked him from the beginning, I'm not sure why I wavered on the idea of having a bridesman, it probably had a little do with the fact that I have never seen it done before. My bridal shower has come and gone and we are a little under 3 months to go until the wedding day. I want nothing more than him to stand up there alongside me while I get married and I would love if he would be a part of the days events with me and I think he would be honored to do so as well. The boys have not rented tuxes yet anyway (they don't need to do so until 30 days out), so he would still have plenty of time to do that. That would really be the only thing I would ask him to do. I'm sure it wasn't the best move not including him from the start, but is it ok for me to ask him to stand up there with me on the wedding day? In my gut I feel it is the right move, and probably a little unconventional for waiting so long, but I think he would be delighted in the end and we would both be very happy.

If you want to ask him, then ask him. But  would be worried that he might feel like an afterthought.

Maggie0829

IMO, as much as you may really want him to be in your wedding, I think the time to ask him has come and gone.  No matter how you word it, you run the risk of him feeling like an after though.  I know if someone said to me "oh I really wish I had asked you earlier, but I am asking you now" I would be wondering what prevented them from asking me earlier.  Was it because of even numbers?  Was it because they were worried about the look of having a female in an all male wedding party?  Was it because someone dropped out and they needed a replacement?

So my advice would be just to continue being great friends with this person but keep your wedding party as is.  Just make sure to take a second to get a great picture with him at your wedding for memory purposes.  I really think at this point your friend is just being a good friend, super excited for you and is not expecting an invite into the wedding party.

justsie

I agree with PPs, if it was me being asked I'd 100% think of myself as an afterthought. I'd probably be pretty hurt about it as well.

Jen4948

It's too close to the wedding for you to ask him now and not have it appear as an afterthought.

But keep being good friends with him, get a nice photo with him, and feel free to discuss any part of the wedding with him that isn't "bridal party only."

[Deleted User]

Another vote for too close to the wedding to ask. Like PP, no reason not to make sure the photographer gets a great photo of the two of you together and you can send him a copy.

JaxInBlue

I agree with PPs.  It's too close to your wedding to ask him to join your bridal party.  It could be seen as an afterthought. 

Depending on the type of ceremony you are planning, however, it may not be too late to ask him to participate as a reader.  It's not the same as being a bridesman, but it is a way to include him in a more prominent role.

sparklepants41

JaxInBlue said:

I agree with PPs.  It's too close to your wedding to ask him to join your bridal party.  It could be seen as an afterthought. 

Depending on the type of ceremony you are planning, however, it may not be too late to ask him to participate as a reader.  It's not the same as being a bridesman, but it is a way to include him in a more prominent role.

Ditto the bolded. Having him as a reader is a great idea!

littlepep

JaxInBlue said:

I agree with PPs.  It's too close to your wedding to ask him to join your bridal party.  It could be seen as an afterthought. 

Depending on the type of ceremony you are planning, however, it may not be too late to ask him to participate as a reader.  It's not the same as being a bridesman, but it is a way to include him in a more prominent role.

I would recommend this. He'll be involved in an important aspect of your wedding and get to participate in the rehearsal dinner as well. I had my SIL and good friend do readings and they were so happy/honored to do it. And I thought it added a nice personal touch to our ceremony.