• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Invites and Paper

Wording when one divorced parent is hosting

I was wondering what the traditional convention is for invitation wording if only one of the bride's parents is hosting. My father is paying for about 2/3 of the wedding, and my fiancé and I are paying the rest. To add to the complexity, my father is engaged as well. 

Do I include his fiancé?
Do I include only my father?
Do I include both of my parents, even though only my father is contributing?
Should we include everyone? No one?

I'm not really sure how to do this.

Re: Wording when one divorced parent is hosting

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    This is the traditional wording:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    requests the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State

    This is less traditional, but many people are using it to solve difficult family situations:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage
    Day, date (etc.)

    The wedding invitation is a formal note from the host (your father) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  It is not a place to list or honor any other relatives.  It is not a family tree.  It is not an honor to have your name on a wedding invitation.

    Having said this, before you decide on your wording, talk to your father and your mother.  If Mom is going to have hysterics about the traditional wording, then go with the second wording.  Dad's fiancee does not belong on your wedding invitation, but you must invite her.  I would also get her a corsage.
    If you are having a church wedding, you request "the honour of your presence".
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    This is the traditional wording:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    requests the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State

    This is less traditional, but many people are using it to solve difficult family situations:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage
    Day, date (etc.)

    The wedding invitation is a formal note from the host (your father) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  It is not a place to list or honor any other relatives.  It is not a family tree.  It is not an honor to have your name on a wedding invitation.

    Having said this, before you decide on your wording, talk to your father and your mother.  If Mom is going to have hysterics about the traditional wording, then go with the second wording.  Dad's fiancee does not belong on your wedding invitation, but you must invite her.  I would also get her a corsage.
    If you are having a church wedding, you request "the honour of your presence".
    I thought that contributing financially wasn't necessarily considered hosting. What I mean is, if the mother is doing hosting duties such as being an information point person, collecting RSVPs etc she would also be considered a host and could be included on the invitation with traditional wording:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    Ms. Jane Bridesmother
       etc.
    or am I wrong @CMCGragain.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    CMGragain said:
    This is the traditional wording:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    requests the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State

    This is less traditional, but many people are using it to solve difficult family situations:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage
    Day, date (etc.)

    The wedding invitation is a formal note from the host (your father) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  It is not a place to list or honor any other relatives.  It is not a family tree.  It is not an honor to have your name on a wedding invitation.

    Having said this, before you decide on your wording, talk to your father and your mother.  If Mom is going to have hysterics about the traditional wording, then go with the second wording.  Dad's fiancee does not belong on your wedding invitation, but you must invite her.  I would also get her a corsage.
    If you are having a church wedding, you request "the honour of your presence".
    I thought that contributing financially wasn't necessarily considered hosting. What I mean is, if the mother is doing hosting duties such as being an information point person, collecting RSVPs etc she would also be considered a host and could be included on the invitation with traditional wording:

    Mr. John Bridesfather
    Ms. Jane Bridesmother
       etc.
    or am I wrong @CMCGragain.
    No, you are correct. Invitation wording is not determined by who's paying, because that's none of the guests' business. Invitations are not playbills.
    [Deleted User]
  • So, the question is... who is hosting?  Who will be welcoming people?  Thanking them for attending?  Collecting the RSVPs?  Take the money out of it and determine who is hosting.  THEY (the hosts) should do the inviting.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    The OP said nothing about her mother's contribution, financially, or otherwise, so I assumed that her mother was not hosting.  My point was that that giving birth does not necessarily mean that one is entitled to be listed on your child's wedding invitation.
    On the other hand, if Mom is actively involved in planning the wedding, she would be listed:

    Ms. Jane Bridesmother
    Mr. John Bridesfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's first middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • To clarify, my mother is not involved in the wedding at all; she can't even be bothered to shop for a dress with me. She is not helping with RSVPs or with anything else. 

    Thanks for the feedback! This clarifies.
    CMGragain
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards