Gift for a gender reveal party

luckya23

labro said:

@loveislouder Pretty much. We all bit in to cupcakes at my sister's party and everyone was like "Yay, it's a girl" and then we all moved on. My sister also told us the name they had picked out for the baby. A party is still a party, it didn't just end, but basically yeah, cutting/biting in to the cake was the big moment.

I smashed mine so I knew first!

kaos16

DH actually just mentioned having one.  I think it's because he wanted an excuse to have a BBQ at the house. . . .if we do, which i'm still not sold on the idea, we'll grill or smoke some meat, play some cornhole, everyone but me will drink and then BAM....cake that's blue or pink inside.  I could take it or leave it.  I'm going to want to know immediately at the sonogram whether my kid has a penis, vagina or unicorn horn!

ShesSoCold

The only gender reveal parties I've ever been invited to are when the couple themselves also finds out. I think it's kind of odd to have a party to tell everyone else. 

Maggie0829

Besides finding out that the couple is having a unicorn.  Another gender reveal party I wouldn't mind attending is when they cut the cake and it is pink and a bunch of people yell out "NO!  We wanted it to be a boy. F this I am out of here!"

kimmiinthemitten

ShesSoCold said:

The only gender reveal parties I've ever been invited to are when the couple themselves also finds out. I think it's kind of odd to have a party to tell everyone else. 

I've only been to one and the couple already knew so it was kind of like, "oh yay, a girl.  As you were saying..."

They had pink and blue balloons and each guest picked a color based on their guess.  The blue ones had holes so they didn't inflate.  The videos from when their facetimed their parents the night before were cuter than the actual thing live.

chloe97

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

sparklepants41

ShesSoCold said:

The only gender reveal parties I've ever been invited to are when the couple themselves also finds out. I think it's kind of odd to have a party to tell everyone else. 

I completely agree - my BIL & SIL (H's brother and his wife) did a gender reveal during their older child's birthday party - making the child open a "present" that was wrapped by my SIL and involved a balloon that said "It's a Boy!" popping out of the box.

So completely AW - not to mention usurping the other child's birthday party.

Everyone there was side-eyeing like crazy. It was super bizarre.

lovesclimbing

I am not a fan of gender reveals. I think it's over the top. Also, most people in my family don't find out until the baby pops out, and I really like that idea.

ohmrs2014

chloe97 said:

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

I completely agree.  When I went in for my 20 week scan, yes, they did confirm gender, but I was more worried about something being wrong, especially since other women around me who are pregnant were already feeling movements and I wasn't.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily for me, everything has been great, but I too, know of women who weren't so lucky.

sarahufl

Yeah, I don't attend gender reveals. I find them ridiculous.

Then again, I also have no desire to find out what I am having beforehand.

jacques27

OP, if you want to get a gift, go for it.  Personally, I wouldn't and the occasion doesn't call for a gift.  I can just see it now - you show up with a gift, other people feel inadequate because they didn't bring anything, they start to question themselves "Was this supposed to be a gift thing? I didn't know!" so they start bringing gifts to the next sex reveal parties they attend, and now gifts at a sex reveal party is a thing.  And it shouldn't be, because sex reveal parties are pretty much people saying "Come over so I can AW!" already, so if they became gift things it would pretty much be akin to throwing yourself your own shower - tacky.

It's cool if you're excited for other people's babies to happen, but I think you should keep the gift giving to either the appropriate party for it (a shower) or do it on your own time like the next time you get together for lunch with your friend, where you don't have the likelihood of making people feel awkward for not bringing a gift since it really isn't a gift giving occasion.

(Add me to the list of people wondering when and why we started caring more about AW'ing what sex parts the unborn have than we do about just having healthy human beings.)

CMGragain

Things were simpler in my day.  When the baby was born, then we learned the sex.

I would be uncomfortable about attending a gender reveal party.  Not so for a baby shower, though.

redheadbride15

ohmrs2014 said:

chloe97 said:

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

I completely agree.  When I went in for my 20 week scan, yes, they did confirm gender, but I was more worried about something being wrong, especially since other women around me who are pregnant were already feeling movements and I wasn't.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily for me, everything has been great, but I too, know of women who weren't so lucky.

I also agree with this. Everyone has a 50% chance of having a boy, a 50% chance of having a girl, and a 5% chance of having a child with a birth defect. In my opinion, that's not a statistic to take lightly. But everyone's different.

Maggie0829

redheadbride15 said:

ohmrs2014 said:

chloe97 said:

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

I completely agree.  When I went in for my 20 week scan, yes, they did confirm gender, but I was more worried about something being wrong, especially since other women around me who are pregnant were already feeling movements and I wasn't.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily for me, everything has been great, but I too, know of women who weren't so lucky.

I also agree with this. Everyone has a 50% chance of having a boy, a 50% chance of having a girl, and a 5% chance of having a child with a birth defect. In my opinion, that's not a statistic to take lightly. But everyone's different.

I am sure there are some women who only care about the sex at the time of their scan, but it is possible to be concerned for the health of your baby AND to also be excited to find out if it is a boy or a girl.

southernbelle0915

ShesSoCold said:

The only gender reveal parties I've ever been invited to are when the couple themselves also finds out. I think it's kind of odd to have a party to tell everyone else. 

This. I find it a little AW/SS-ish and like someone just wanted an excuse to throw a 'look at me' party if they already know. I mean, just tell people at that point. Don't take 3 hours out of someone's day to make a big production out of it.

But anyway, if you really want to give something, I would do something for the parents....not the baby. A date night gift card would be fab since those days will be limited going forward...like a gift card for fro yo, or to a restaurant, or to Starbucks, or for the movies, or tickets to a concert.

AddieCake

Maggie0829 said:

redheadbride15 said:

ohmrs2014 said:

chloe97 said:

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

I completely agree.  When I went in for my 20 week scan, yes, they did confirm gender, but I was more worried about something being wrong, especially since other women around me who are pregnant were already feeling movements and I wasn't.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily for me, everything has been great, but I too, know of women who weren't so lucky.

I also agree with this. Everyone has a 50% chance of having a boy, a 50% chance of having a girl, and a 5% chance of having a child with a birth defect. In my opinion, that's not a statistic to take lightly. But everyone's different.

I am sure there are some women who only care about the sex at the time of their scan, but it is possible to be concerned for the health of your baby AND to also be excited to find out if it is a boy or a girl.

This. I really don't understand assuming people are only there to learn the sex. I doubt that is the case for most people.

banana468

AddieCake said:

Maggie0829 said:

redheadbride15 said:

ohmrs2014 said:

chloe97 said:

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

I completely agree.  When I went in for my 20 week scan, yes, they did confirm gender, but I was more worried about something being wrong, especially since other women around me who are pregnant were already feeling movements and I wasn't.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily for me, everything has been great, but I too, know of women who weren't so lucky.

I also agree with this. Everyone has a 50% chance of having a boy, a 50% chance of having a girl, and a 5% chance of having a child with a birth defect. In my opinion, that's not a statistic to take lightly. But everyone's different.

I am sure there are some women who only care about the sex at the time of their scan, but it is possible to be concerned for the health of your baby AND to also be excited to find out if it is a boy or a girl.

This. I really don't understand assuming people are only there to learn the sex. I doubt that is the case for most people.

Yeah, when DH and I were at the scan about 1.5 years ago I obviously wanted to make sure that the organs were developing correctly, there were no issues with growth and that the baby's heart was beating.   At no time was the sex of the child more important than his health.

BUT, after being surprised and having a girl, I DID want to know if I was having a boy or a girl.   My rationale was that I knew DH really wanted a boy.   We knew we would try for a 3rd child if baby #2 was a girl (not that a 3rd is now out of the question - but being more aggressive about TTC was definitely going to happen).   I did not want to go through hours of painful labor to deliver a girl and think, "My husband is going to want me to do this again fast!"    I wanted to be able to know and be somewhat aware of what the future held before I was about to face yet another crazy hormonal shift coupled with massive sleep deprivation.

kaos16

Just hear a funny story at work:

a friend went to a gender reveal party with a cake cutting reveal.  The couple had given the envelope to the baker and picked up the cake the day of the party.  They cut into it and the center was white.  They continued cutting pieces of cake looking for pink or blue, but the entire cake was white!  Whoever made it at the bakery messed up on what they were supposed to do.  Apparently the baby's mom's mom was LIVID about what happened.  I would have died laughing if I was there. 

At least the bakery gave them the envelope back so they could just open it and see the sex in front of everyone.

littlepep

My neighbors brought us a cupcake that had blue frosting to let us know they were having a boy. It was awesome because I got cake and I didn't have to sit through a dumb ass party. 

I'm going to start hosting cake cutting parties to celebrate the fact that I bought a cake and am planning to eat it. 

peachy13

kaos16 said:

Just hear a funny story at work:

a friend went to a gender reveal party with a cake cutting reveal.  The couple had given the envelope to the baker and picked up the cake the day of the party.  They cut into it and the center was white.  They continued cutting pieces of cake looking for pink or blue, but the entire cake was white!  Whoever made it at the bakery messed up on what they were supposed to do.  Apparently the baby's mom's mom was LIVID about what happened.  I would have died laughing if I was there. 

At least the bakery gave them the envelope back so they could just open it and see the sex in front of everyone.

This kind of happened to a girl I know. The icing was really, really light pink -- like almost white. So their social media posts were like: "It's a girl?"

chloe97

banana468 said:

AddieCake said:

Maggie0829 said:

redheadbride15 said:

ohmrs2014 said:

chloe97 said:

This is what pisses me off about gender reveal parties. People go into their ultrasound appointment or their appointment with the Ob-gyn after their 10-week genetic testing and they should be focused on "do I have a healthy baby?" But instead are focused on making sure the ultrasound tech/nurse/Dr doesn't give away the sex of their baby before their baker can find out. PLEASE! These appointments are not meant to find out the sex of your baby. They are meant to find out if the baby has congenital defects. Too many women I know have gone into these appointments and have had their hearts broken when they found their baby had no chance of survival or even worse had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because the mom's life was in danger. Sure, I want to know the sex of my baby, but God willing I get pregnant and go in for my genetic testing appointment, I'm going to be focused on my baby's development and potential health issues, not whether my gender reveal party can happen or not.

I completely agree.  When I went in for my 20 week scan, yes, they did confirm gender, but I was more worried about something being wrong, especially since other women around me who are pregnant were already feeling movements and I wasn't.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily for me, everything has been great, but I too, know of women who weren't so lucky.

I also agree with this. Everyone has a 50% chance of having a boy, a 50% chance of having a girl, and a 5% chance of having a child with a birth defect. In my opinion, that's not a statistic to take lightly. But everyone's different.

I am sure there are some women who only care about the sex at the time of their scan, but it is possible to be concerned for the health of your baby AND to also be excited to find out if it is a boy or a girl.

This. I really don't understand assuming people are only there to learn the sex. I doubt that is the case for most people.

Yeah, when DH and I were at the scan about 1.5 years ago I obviously wanted to make sure that the organs were developing correctly, there were no issues with growth and that the baby's heart was beating.   At no time was the sex of the child more important than his health.

BUT, after being surprised and having a girl, I DID want to know if I was having a boy or a girl.   My rationale was that I knew DH really wanted a boy.   We knew we would try for a 3rd child if baby #2 was a girl (not that a 3rd is now out of the question - but being more aggressive about TTC was definitely going to happen).   I did not want to go through hours of painful labor to deliver a girl and think, "My husband is going to want me to do this again fast!"    I wanted to be able to know and be somewhat aware of what the future held before I was about to face yet another crazy hormonal shift coupled with massive sleep deprivation.

My point was that in my experience the type of people who typically have gender reveal parties think about the ultrasound as a gender reveal appointment. I will be super excited to learn the sex of my baby, but on that day- asking for an envelope with the baby gender will be the LAST thing I could imagine asking the ultrasound tech. I will instead probably be removing the nail mark from husbands hands after bearing to him from being so nervous about the results and asking a million questions about the health of my baby. But maybe this is just me, but I can't even think about these appointments without my hands getting clammy.