Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Surprising RSVP Regrets?

I am in the process of waiting to receive our response cards.  I know it's faulty logic to think that everyone is going to make it to your wedding.  But there were some people who I just knew were going to come, but RSVP'd, no.  It made me a little sad.  One of the people who RSVPd no, actually begged for an invitation. Huh?

What was your experence with surprising regrets?

Re: Surprising RSVP Regrets?

  • How many ppl dont come ? (on average)
    What do u do when they dont show up ? and how to control ur anger or feelings..Because this is my major fear up to the reception day
  • I think the rule of thumb is only expect 70-75% of who you invited to come. That does suck, we have had some regrets as well and I really thought they would come. Summer is a busy time of year though, and they may have had something planned. I think we may have a higher decline rate than I expected as well. But we'll see bc we have another week for rsvp's.
  • to my suprise the only ppl i invited that rsvp'd no were my hubbys aunt & uncle from Texas understanably they couldnt afford to make it,everyone else rsvp's and almost everyone came the only no shows were my hubbys other Aunt and her Son but thats a whole long story.
  • We were in a similar situation. About 50% of our guest list declined and we were under the minimum required at the venue, so we actually lost money. Although my parents did get a month's supply of filet mignon out of it.

    Our problem was travel. We've lived in so many places and invited people from all over. Many just couldn't afford the trip to CT. My hubby's work buddies also couldn't come (and that was 15 people right there!) because there was a conference scheduled about a month before that most had to go to. And they had all already booked their rooms and had fully committed to coming.  In the end the venue did a great job making it look like the room was filled even though we had about 4 tables less than planned. And each table had plenty of elbow room, so no one was crowded.
  • Yeah my extended family was really shady...not a single one bothered to respond and they didn't send a card or do anything to acknowledge that I was getting married...thanks to them I only had 5 blood relatives at my wedding, but you know I didn't miss not having them there, There will be so many people there that you will feel overwhelmed so don't worry about those that couldn't make it and revel in the ones that do!
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  • The only cousins I have almost declined because  of a hockey game, but then my mom's cousin got on the phone with them and told them the family wedding was more important.  I heard about this drama after it happened.  These are the crazy relatives that don't know social norms (every family has them!) but I was really hurt that they were going to pick a HS hockey game over the wedding.  In the end, the mom and daughters came while the father and son didn't.  The two girls are my age, and they left right after dinner to go clubbing.
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  • We invited around 190 people and 155 showed up.  There were a lot of declines we knew wouldn't come before we ever sent out the invites but a few surprised us.  DH had a few cousins he said "there is no way they'll come," and they did.  it was mainly my side with the surprise declines!  We did get married the day before Easter and it was everyone's spring break, so we knew we'd loose some because of that, but still...I had a cousin who got married a few years ago and I cancelled a trip to go to her wedding and she told me at the shower "I can't come because my daughter's babysitter is graduating,"  whatever, I guess everyone sets priorities.

    The ones that decline I am sad about, but happy that they at least told me...what really mad me frustrated were the 10 people that RSVPed that they were coming and then just didn't show up!  
  • Our guest list was also about 50% decline. Some of which I would have bet momney would go, and didn't. We also lost money because so few attended that we were under the minimum number of guests. You can't really help but feel upset about it. It's supposed to be the most important day of your life, and while you can undestand that some people won't make it I think that everyone has those people who they just assume would want to be there. Especially if you give a lot of notice. We send out our invites 4 months before the wedding, and still 50% of the guests were unable to attend. It's ddisheartening, but your wedding will be fine without them.
  • mbcorvambcorva member
    First Comment
    We are actually just the opposite.  We invited a couple more people than the room could hold (I have a HUGE family), but since we are getting married out of town, we were thinking that we'd have a larger number of No's.  Each No that we've gotten has been a small sigh of relief, which sounds terrible, but so far there have only been 7 and they're people that my FI and I aren't super close to (friends of parents and such).  We're still waiting on almost 100 responses so I just hope it all works out and it's not too crowded for the room.
  • At first I had hoped for more declines because we WAY over-invited (the room capacity was fine... my wallet was not).  Now that the RSVP deadline is approaching and I've started organzing a list, it wasn't as bad as I thought.  We guaranteed 200 and invited 250, hoping to be around 220.  We're right in that neighborhood.  I'd rather find the money to pay for more than the minimum, and even invite extended fam and friends who couldn't originally be invited, than pay for people who aren't there.
  • My fiance's step mom and her husband (his father passed away and she re-married) RSVPed no after telling us they wouldn't miss it for the world. His step-mom even offerred to stand in on behalf of his father, whatever that means. That was really surprising. They wrote that they would "explain further via email" but it's been over a week and we haven't heard anything. Really weird.
  • To Lifequestion: maybe they are waiting for you to reach out with a "so sorry you can't make it email" for them to reply to.

    WE had a lot of unexpected no's but we were also married on a holiday weekend.  We only had 2 couples that RSVP'd yes and didn't show up.  Now only a few weeks later I couldn't tell you who they were!  Apparently it didn't mean all that much to me.
  • Ah frist off, this thread is a bit of a comfort for me!

    We're waiting for responses right now, and I'm starting to panic since we had 140 invited, and the folks we are possibly waiting on would maybe bring us to 103 if they can make it - we were expecting 120. Not that I am really upset, but it certainly makes my mother (who's giving a hand with all this) panic, in turn making me panic. We both have people we wouldn't mind inviting last minute of course, but still it's a bit upsetting because of the whole losing money bit.
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