When we got engaged, my FH and I assumed we'd be paying for our wedding by ourselves. Then my parents, who used to live in a different state than me, indicated they wanted to buy my wedding dress, which they did. About a month after that, my dad found out that the other parent had been having an affair and was asking my dad for a divorce. I also found out that my parents were getting a divorce. My parents moved out of their house and my moved back to the city where I live. My mom stayed in the state they had been living in. To sum up the last few months, my dad has done everything to acknowledge their fault in the marriage to members of the family on their side and my mom's side, has tried to fix the marriage, has now stopped trying to fix it at my mom's request, and has never bad-mouthed my mom and has actively worked to keep members from his side of the family from doing so. My mom has bad-mouthed my dad to everyone (including us kids), never acknowledged that she played any part in the marriage falling apart, and generally acting like my is dad out to get her, all while not actively pushing the divorce through. Then a month ago, my mom got mad at my dad for something, started pushing for the legal stuff to be taken care of (which my dad was not hindering or holding up in any way), then suddenly my mom decided she didn't want the divorce just yet, my mom wanted time to just live by herself and think about whether or not she wants the divorce to actually take place (all while still seeing the same person she was having the affair with). My mom and I have had very little contact since I found out about the affair, but my mom has indicated that she wants to help pay for the wedding. My parents still both use their joint bank account (my mom has accused my dad of trying to hide money from her, so he uses their joint account so she can't use that against him in the divorce). I want to accept absolutely nothing from my mom due to her behavior to me and the rest of the family. My dad has also indicated that he wants to contribute more to the wedding, but any money my dad gives would come from the joint bank account, and I am absolutely positive that my mom would try to share credit for anything my dad contributes. I want my mom to have NO say in anything that happens for the wedding/reception, particularly the guest list, because I honestly think my mom would try to invite the person they've been having the affair with (she doesn't understand why all the kids want nothing to do with this man). Can I just accept money from my dad and make it clear to my mom that I don't consider it a contribution from both of them, just my dad, and risk a ton of fallout, both from my mom and her family, or since my mom's behavior has been so appalling, just make it clear that she gets no say in the guest list, and instead let them have some sort of say on some detail of the reception? Or do I avoid the situation all together by not accepting money from either parent (this seems unfair to my dad, who really wants to help us out)? Also, when I let them pay for the dress, I knew they were having problems, but my mom had been telling me they were trying to work things out, and my dad thought their relationship was improving (turns out she'd already been seeing someone at that time, he just didn't know yet). I don't feel I'm under any sort of obligation to give my mom a say in the wedding just because of the dress, but is that just me being ignorant of etiquette? I'm so confused.