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Is this an okay reason to B list?

whovianstarkwhovianstark member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
edited August 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'll try to summarize this in a way that makes sense.
I invited one coworker without a plus one. This co worker (co worker A) filled out their RSVP card with a plus one. I would have told them we aren't doing plus ones but their plus one happens to be my boss' daughter so....

The boss' daughter is actually dating coworker B. Would it be okay to B list coworker B so he can go to the wedding with his GF? I think that this point we will have money and space for him.
Edit: Thanks everyone for the replies. It turns out Coworker A put the wrong name on the RSVP so it is a non issue.
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Re: Is this an okay reason to B list?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    Ugh. Deleted due to reading fail. This is why I hate letters in place of names! For some reason it always trips me up.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    whovianstark said:
    I'll try to summarize this in a way that makes sense.
    I invited one coworker without a plus one. This co worker (co worker A) filled out their RSVP card with a plus one. I would have told them we aren't doing plus ones but their plus one happens to be my boss' daughter so....

    The boss' daughter is actually dating coworker B. Would it be okay to B list coworker B so he can go to the wedding with his GF? I think that this point we will have money and space for him.
    you'll have a nice little menage a trois then!  I think you should just leave it as is.  She is going as the guest of coworker A.  Maybe she has two boyfriends in the same company.  Maybe she wants to go with coworker A because B doesn't like weddings/parties.  Who knows!   I think it would be obvious and look rude if you now invite B.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think you have two options that would be OK:

    1) send a separate invite to boss's daughter and coworker B (together as a couple)
    2) not worry about it since coworker A rudely added someone to her RSVP.

    Think about it this way...from an etiquette standpoint, let's say coworker A added her mom as her plus one. Should you then invite her dad because mom and dad are married? No.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    AddieCake said:
    Are you going to allow A to invite a new plus one since you're now inviting B and her boyfriend as a couple?

    ETA: I don't understand why you think you need to allow A a plus one and now, basically a plus 2 because B is the boss's daughter.
    Well I didn't allow a plus one originally for coworker A anyways. I don't think I need to I was just thinking it would be a nice thing since I had considered inviting coworker B anyways. I think many people are  confused about Plus ones, I had another coworker asking if they could bring someone as their "plus one" not SO.
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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited August 2015
    kaos16 said:
    whovianstark said:
    I'll try to summarize this in a way that makes sense.
    I invited one coworker without a plus one. This co worker (co worker A) filled out their RSVP card with a plus one. I would have told them we aren't doing plus ones but their plus one happens to be my boss' daughter so....

    The boss' daughter is actually dating coworker B. Would it be okay to B list coworker B so he can go to the wedding with his GF? I think that this point we will have money and space for him.
    you'll have a nice little menage a trois then!  I think you should just leave it as is.  She is going as the guest of coworker A.  Maybe she has two boyfriends in the same company.  Maybe she wants to go with coworker A because B doesn't like weddings/parties.  Who knows!   I think it would be obvious and look rude if you now invite B.

    ETA: (stuck in box) I don't know for sure, but coworker A is not close to her plus one so I am thinking she was asked to put her down as her plus one.

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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    southernbelle0915 said:
    I think you have two options that would be OK: 1) send a separate invite to boss's daughter and coworker B (together as a couple) 2) not worry about it since coworker A rudely added someone to her RSVP. Think about it this way...from an etiquette standpoint, let's say coworker A added her mom as her plus one. Should you then invite her dad because mom and dad are married? No.
    Thank you! I will consider these options.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Well since Coworker B is dating someone you should have added his date anyway.

    I'm assuming coworker A asked boss's daughter if she wanted to attend the wedding and she said yes or why else would she be on the RSVP?

    I guess my point is while it was presumptuous for A to include boss's daughter, she should have been invited on Cowoker B's anyway.  Just leave things as they are.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    southernbelle0915 said:
    I think you have two options that would be OK: 1) send a separate invite to boss's daughter and coworker B (together as a couple) 2) not worry about it since coworker A rudely added someone to her RSVP. Think about it this way...from an etiquette standpoint, let's say coworker A added her mom as her plus one. Should you then invite her dad because mom and dad are married? No.
    Oh and this reminds me, I had another person RSVP with their daughter as their "plus one" and "and guest" was not on their envelope. *sigh*
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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited August 2015
    lyndausvi said:
    Well since Coworker B is dating someone you should have added his date anyway.

    I'm assuming coworker A asked boss's daughter if she wanted to attend the wedding and she said yes or why else would she be on the RSVP?

    I guess my point is while it was presumptuous for A to include boss's daughter, she should have been invited on Cowoker B's anyway.  Just leave things as they are.
    Sorry for the confusion. Coworker B was not invited originally.
    ETA: If coworker B had been invited he would have for sure been invited with his SO! :)
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    whovianstark said:
    AddieCake said:
    Are you going to allow A to invite a new plus one since you're now inviting B and her boyfriend as a couple?

    ETA: I don't understand why you think you need to allow A a plus one and now, basically a plus 2 because B is the boss's daughter.
    Well I didn't allow a plus one originally for coworker A anyways. I don't think I need to I was just thinking it would be a nice thing since I had considered inviting coworker B anyways. I think many people are  confused about Plus ones, I had another coworker asking if they could bring someone as their "plus one" not SO.

    Yeah, I misread your OP. I guess you quoted me before I had a chance to delete it. Sorry!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • whovianstarkwhovianstark member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    AddieCake said:

    Ugh. Deleted due to reading fail. This is why I hate letters in place of names! For some reason it always trips me up.

    Haha yeah next time I'll make up some names
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