What Is/Was Your Bridesmaid Dress Preference?

themosthappy91

So I've noticed over the course of my time here that giving the bridal party the option to choose their own dresses (in my experience it always has been dresses, but I suppose this could apply to whatever it is your bridal party will be wearing) within the range of a certain color, length and fabric seems to be far and away the most popular approach to dressing your BMs. I'm curious about seeing an actual breakdown of how many people do this and if it's as big a majority of forum users as I thought, so I'm making a poll!

(FYI- I went with the identical dress for all three of my bridesmaids but they all had input on which one was selected)

TheCheeseWench

I think asking a close friend to shell out for a dress that has zero usability after the wedding is a crappy way to "honor" them. Honestly I have never seen an actual "bridesmaids" dress that wouldn't look odd worn in public later. Most of them are in that cheap looking satin or chiffon material, and who the hell goes to a restaurant in a sea foam colored dress?

I definitely prefer "same general color" I told mine "pink-ish". That was it.


**ETA** The groomsmen are all wearing matching suits, but the cost is being covered for them by FFIL since he did the same for FBILs wedding.

aliwis000

I only have 2 bridesmaids. With so few I just went with the same dress for both. We went shopping and narrowed it down to a few. They liked one best so we went with that one. I wanted them to be comfortable in the dress and they say they are. (Note: We purchased all the wedding party clothes so they did not have to pay for the dress.)

JediElizabeth

My FI & I have a split party - 4 women & 2 men on my side, and 2 women, 3 men, and one genderqueer individual on his side (only notable because I don't know if they'll want to wear a suit or dress, and I'm leaving it entirely up to them).

For those in dresses, we'll have everyone in the same cut/style/brand, but one color on my side, and another complimentary color on my FI's side - we're thinking black & dark blue, but that may change. No chiffon or satin - I'm looking at cotton with lace overlay, or just cotton. For those in suits, we'll probably do the same things with differing vests or ties. 

Our wedding is a little under 2 years away, but we've already been talking to our wedding party about price range and style, and they're all comfortable with my ideas and the prices we've been looking at.

AddieCake

Originally I told my bridesmaids the color and was letting them choose their own dresses, but then I decided I really liked the look of patterned dresses, so I wanted them to be the same. They are not "bridesmaid" dresses; they are just regular dresses and can (and have) been worn again. One of my girls liked it so much she bought it in 2 additional colors.

ETA: We went shopping together, so they had input.

WinstonsGirl

I only had a MOH, so I told her to wear whatever she wanted.  We had no colours/theme/etc., so I really didn't care.  She actually bought 3 different dresses before she settled on one she liked.  She also ran them by me, but I told her it was her decision.  

She had 2 in her WP, myself and one other.  She told us knee length in fall colours, which was actually pretty hard to find on short notice in the summer.  We managed though 

redwoodoriginal

I told my MOH (sister) to pick whatever she wanted but I was thinking a nice summer colored knee length dress. She wore a long navy gown. So clearly took what I suggested into zero account, but whatever. she was happy with it so that's what matters. The BM wore a suit he already owned.

luckya23

I only had a MOH and I just asked her to buy a beachy blue / teal dress. She ended up wearing light blue although she decided between that and a more green dress the morning of the wedding. Best man wore a suit from his closet. We bought the ties, mostly because I didn't know what I wanted DH to wear so we had several. BM actually ended up wearing the tie I had decided on for DH but his was fine too.

lc07

I asked all of my bridesmaids to wear any LBD. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't dictated their attire at all. Not because there was any problem, really, with that plan. But after stepping away, I've realized IMO it's silly to dictate or request any guests' attire. I wish I had asked them to wear anything they wanted just like a regular guest. I would love to see that become the norm. 

lovesclimbing

I did identical dresses. I have no problem with mismatched dresses though. I just thought it was what you did and my mom sewed them. It would have been harder to do that with multiple different styles. They did not pay for them, and I know my two BMs have worn them again. My MOH has not. I know she liked it and said she wanted to wear it again but my mom took it in too much so it was pretty hard for her to breath in it. She picked out the pattern for the lace bolero she wore as MOH, and she certainly seemed to love it. I believe she's worn it since.

SP29

I told the two women in my party, "Midnight blue cocktail dress from David's Bridal".

So I did dictate store, but I didn't dictate material or style.

I would've been fine with another store, but I looked around at the various clothing/dress stores in the area and couldn't find much for navy dresses (seriously! Navy was not in that winter.... same with trying to find Navy shoes- for me).

I told them to wear whatever shoes they want.

My MOH ended up in a satin dress with straps that went down to the calf and nude shoes. My BM found a cotton, strapless, knee length dress that she wore with sparkly silver shoes.

I would *try* to argue that both my friends were able to find nice dresses that can be worn again (which I tried to keep in mind- I actually find the DB's dresses are generally nice dresses for more formal events. There are a few I'd buy to wear out).  Midnight blue (or navy, essentially) is a neutral colour, and both dresses were pretty "simple" in style. My MOH hasn't worn her dress again, that I know of. Where as my BM wore her dress to another wedding as a guest.

luckya23

My BIL's girlfriend, who I had never met, wore a yellow chiffon ruched strapless dress that I thought was very likely a bridesmaid dress.  I thought it was kind of funny - hey, someone did wear one again!  That's not a mythical idea!

photokitty

I treat bridesmaid dresses like a rented tux. I've usually got a few stains and tears in it by the end of the night. Otherwise I donate them to a local charity for prom. If I want to get dressed up to that point, I usually want to buy something new for the occasions.

themosthappy91

photokitty said:

I treat bridesmaid dresses like a rented tux. I've usually got a few stains and tears in it by the end of the night. Otherwise I donate them to a local charity for prom. If I want to get dressed up to that point, I usually want to buy something new for the occasions.

I don't know why I've never thought of doing that, but that's a great idea!

AprilH81

My sister was my only bridal party member (DH had his best friend) and I told her to get whatever she wanted, but I wanted "veto power" if I detested the dress which is unlikely because she had fabulous taste.  I asked her to find a navy blue, dark blue or champagne colored dress.  She ended up with a knee length champagne dress with a black lace detail on the top.

chloe97

I was in a wedding where we were asked to pick any knee-length navy dress we would like. On the surface, it's a very nice and respectful to not dictate that your friends wear a dress that they hate or that doesn't flatter their body type. On the other hand, buying a dress for that wedding was the most stressful BM dress buying experience of my life and that includes the friend who never asked for my budget and asked me to buy a $400 BM dress when I was dirt broke. Trying to pick out a dress and that was right shade of navy and worrying about whether the color fabric would match the other BMs was so stressful. My 2 gfs who were also BMs and I finally decided that we would buy JCREW dresses, another Bm wore a royal blue dress and stuck out in the pictures and the 2 other BM ended up wearing navy sundresses, which looked weird next to our BM-looking JCREW dresses. All in all, we all had lamented that we wish she had told us what to wear. I could in theory wear the navy dress again, but I really think of it as a BM dress. It feels weird to wear it again. I'm a big fan of choosing fabrics/color/designer and letting BMs choose a dress that flatters to heir body types. Takes the stress out of the equation and lets the ladies pick dresses that flatter their bodies.

kvruns

The plan was short, black dress for both BMs. I didn't care about fabric, store, etc.....they actually cared more than I did.  At the end of the day they both liked a particular dress from DB so they matched though it wasn't the plan.

novella1186

I sent my BMs paint chips from the hardware store in a bunch of different shades of pink, and told them to pick any dress in one of those colors, tea length or floor length. They all have different personalities and styles and body types, so I was super excited to see what they all chose. And I was glad that they could buy the dress any where at their own convenience, in their own budget, and hopefully end up with something they actually like. 

One of them even wore her old prom dress and shoes she already owned, so her entire outfit cost $0. 

They all ended up looking gorgeous and (surprisingly) they somehow all managed to pick almost the exact same shade of pink. 

Since I just got my pro-photos back, I'll add a picture (They guys were all told to rent/buy any suit from any store, in any shade of gray, and I thought they all looked great together too) 

littlemushroom

I picked a color and fabric, and said I wanted them all the same length but didn't care what the length was. We all went shopping together, so they could decide what length they wanted to go with. In the end, all three liked the same dress the best so they ended up matching anyway.

Maggie0829

aliwis000 said:

I only have 2 bridesmaids. With so few I just went with the same dress for both. We went shopping and narrowed it down to a few. They liked one best so we went with that one. I wanted them to be comfortable in the dress and they say they are. (Note: We purchased all the wedding party clothes so they did not have to pay for the dress.)

This is what I did.  I didn't pay for the dresses and because of that I wanted to take the time to make sure my 2 BMs were very happy and comfortable in their dresses.  Also my BMs ended up choosing the color.  Originally I wanted to go with a dark purple but they were all about the bright green so since they wanted that color that is what we went with.

IMO, unless I am told to buy a dress in a neutral color (black, navy, grey) I will most likely never wear it again.  Where would I wear a light pink, long dress to?  What about a pale blue chiffon cocktail dress?  Those aren't normal colors I would wear if I had to go to a wedding as a guest or a cocktail party so even though I got to pick the dress within the parameters set I still would most likely never wear that dress after the wedding was over with.  So letting the BMs pick whatever dress they want within a certain set of requirements could end up the same way as picking 2 or 3 dresses and having them choose one or them all wearing the same dress.

OliveOilsMom

I wanted the BMs in the same dress, but didn't really care which dress.  So we all went sopping together.  I let the girls go wild trying on dresses.  They narrowed it down to 3 and then told me to pick my favorite.  It ended up being a classic cocktail dress with an empire waist and two straps.  It was a very simple dress and it was a light gray.  It also would flatter all of their different body types.  It also accommodated my friends' baby bump since she was pregnant at the wedding!  I know of my one BM wore it again to an awards dinner as well!

lovemesomemonster

I asked the girls if they wanted long or short since it's a winter wedding, they all said long. So together we decided on a designer that had lots of style options and I told them navy blue from X designer. They all live in different places so I'm not going to tell them where to get it from but I created a facebook page that is private for only us and they have had fun sending each other pictures of the style they are thinking of and coordinating together. 

pennydl

I told BM's what color I would like, but I let them decide on style and length. We did end up going shopping together to a couple of stores, their choice. And in the end, they all decided on the same floor length gown. In regards to their shoes, I told them it was up to them, as long as it went with their dress. Two of them have purchased nude colored shoes, I'm not sure what color shoes my 3rd BM has decided on. I told them, bottom line, I want them to be comfy. For my FI's BM and Groomsman, they are all wearing the same suit. He found one that was fairly inexpensive at a local store. And this store had enough for all of them. They just need white button down shirts and we'll pick up the ties and pocket squares for them.

kaitlanmw

Funny story: a friend of mine is getting married about 6 weeks before me. My FSIL is a BM in both weddings. I told my girls a specific color from DB, and I prefer they all choose the same fabric & length but it's not required. The other bride asked for knee length, chiffon, in the same color as me. My FSIL is wearing the same dress to both :-)

[Deleted User]

themosthappy91 said:

photokitty said:

I treat bridesmaid dresses like a rented tux. I've usually got a few stains and tears in it by the end of the night. Otherwise I donate them to a local charity for prom. If I want to get dressed up to that point, I usually want to buy something new for the occasions.

I don't know why I've never thought of doing that, but that's a great idea!

I've donated one bridesmaid dress to a local charity for prom.  I've donated two others to my local drag queen.  One of my facebook friends put out a request for dresses between sizes 16-22 since he was starting to perform in drag.  I had a burgundy satin floor length dress I offered him.  Apparently it fit him perfectly and she was beautiful on stage.  I saw pictures later. 

princessleia22

I had some navy blue ribbon that we used on invites & cake.  I sent a piece of that to my BM's and told them to find any dress they like in a similar shade. It was a summer wedding, so they all decided to do short dresses.  Two of them opted to get matching dresses from DB.  I think the dresses were cute and could be worn again.  The third found a dress in similar cut (short, sleeveless with v-neck) & color at Target on clearance for $14.  The DB dresses were satin and the Target dress was lace, but they looked really good together.

I've been in 3 other weddings.  The first, I was the only BM and they said just to find any purple dress. A friend had a purple prom dress that I borrowed for free.  The other 2 weddings, they dictated exact dress for all BM's.  One even selected jewelry (they purchased), shoes, hair style, and nail polish color... the dress was pretty, but certainly not something you could wear again.  The other selected dress, but left other items up to each person. Again, the dress isn't something I'll ever wear again. 

I did also have one where I was supposed to be BM, but the wedding got cancelled.  I paid $300 for a simple, black satin A-line strapless dress... that was never worn.  I held onto it because she said she would reuse those dresses whenever she did get married... she didn't... she selected new dresses.  But, the dress was simple enough that I had it cut to below my knees and it does make a very cute LBD.  People always say "oh, you can shorten it and wear again afterward"... usually that doesn't work, but if it's a simple black dress, it is sometimes an option. Although, after alterations to shorten it, that dress cost me $350.  It's cute, but not $350 cute.

PrettyGirlLost

I had 10 BMs.  I gave them each a set of 5 coordinating color swatches and asked them to pick any knee length dress in one of those 5 colors.

novella1186

Maggie0829 said:

aliwis000 said:

I only have 2 bridesmaids. With so few I just went with the same dress for both. We went shopping and narrowed it down to a few. They liked one best so we went with that one. I wanted them to be comfortable in the dress and they say they are. (Note: We purchased all the wedding party clothes so they did not have to pay for the dress.)

This is what I did.  I didn't pay for the dresses and because of that I wanted to take the time to make sure my 2 BMs were very happy and comfortable in their dresses.  Also my BMs ended up choosing the color.  Originally I wanted to go with a dark purple but they were all about the bright green so since they wanted that color that is what we went with.

IMO, unless I am told to buy a dress in a neutral color (black, navy, grey) I will most likely never wear it again.  Where would I wear a light pink, long dress to?  What about a pale blue chiffon cocktail dress?  Those aren't normal colors I would wear if I had to go to a wedding as a guest or a cocktail party so even though I got to pick the dress within the parameters set I still would most likely never wear that dress after the wedding was over with.  So letting the BMs pick whatever dress they want within a certain set of requirements could end up the same way as picking 2 or 3 dresses and having them choose one or them all wearing the same dress.

I didn't expect my BMs to wear their dresses again. My purpose in letting them choose their own from any store was for budget and their comfort. Like I said in my earlier post, one girl wore her old prom dress, so $0. 

Another girl decided to have a fun day out with her mom and went to a boutique, ended up buying a dress on clearance for $20 that she was excited to wear. 

Two of the girls found one on sale online for around $50. 

One girl wanted this to be a big fun splurge so she had her dress custom made for around $200 I think. 

They all said they loved getting to pick something on their own, and were able to pick their own store and their own budget, and got to wear whatever they felt best in without having to consult someone else. 

To me, those were the benefits to my method, and I was glad I did it that way. It just happened to work well for my group, especially since they were scattered in different states and countries. 

fyrchk

My bridesmaids chose their dresses. We are having a 1950's "theme" and they all chose the same red pin-up girl dress. My step-daughter actually chose the same one but in black because she is standing up on my FI's side. I also don't care what shoes they wear, jewelry, make-up, or hairstyle. I'm having my hairstylist there to do hair and make-up but only if they want it. (Mostly, he's there to do mine and will do theirs if they ask.)

I was in a wedding where we had to wear the same dress, same shoes, same jewelry (18" ivory pearls and bracelet), same hair, AND SAME PANTYHOSE. I was miserable.

[Deleted User]

fyrchk said:

My bridesmaids chose their dresses. We are having a 1950's "theme" and they all chose the same red pin-up girl dress. My step-daughter actually chose the same one but in black because she is standing up on my FI's side. I also don't care what shoes they wear, jewelry, make-up, or hairstyle. I'm having my hairstylist there to do hair and make-up but only if they want it. (Mostly, he's there to do mine and will do theirs if they ask.)

I was in a wedding where we had to wear the same dress, same shoes, same jewelry (18" ivory pearls and bracelet), same hair, AND SAME PANTYHOSE. I was miserable.

Oh, screw that nonsense!  I don't wear hose.  I'm also six feet tall with a size 18 ass.  I'd refuse to purchase hose.  If she tried buying me pantyhose, I'd be sure to poke a hole in them as I was pulling them up (which would happen even if I was careful).  They would be unwearable.  Oops.

Maggie0829

adk19 said:

fyrchk said:

My bridesmaids chose their dresses. We are having a 1950's "theme" and they all chose the same red pin-up girl dress. My step-daughter actually chose the same one but in black because she is standing up on my FI's side. I also don't care what shoes they wear, jewelry, make-up, or hairstyle. I'm having my hairstylist there to do hair and make-up but only if they want it. (Mostly, he's there to do mine and will do theirs if they ask.)

I was in a wedding where we had to wear the same dress, same shoes, same jewelry (18" ivory pearls and bracelet), same hair, AND SAME PANTYHOSE. I was miserable.

Oh, screw that nonsense!  I don't wear hose.  I'm also six feet tall with a size 18 ass.  I'd refuse to purchase hose.  If she tried buying me pantyhose, I'd be sure to poke a hole in them as I was pulling them up (which would happen even if I was careful).  They would be unwearable.  Oops.

I was thinking the same exact thing.