Bridesmaid Gifts

Bigwands

So I always sort of thought all the Pinterest buzz about the perfect (expensive) gift for all the bridesmaids was absurd and an expense mostly fueled by companies wanting to come up with yet another essential "tradition" you have to pay for (don't get me wrong, I think it's important to thank people for being there and helping you out I just feel like the Pinterest culture has blown things out of proportion).  This is before I realized that bridesmaids were generally responsible for their own outfits etc.

So, if I'm planning to cover the costs of dressing my posse, is a simpler gift acceptable?

[Deleted User]

Well, I'm not sure what you mean by "simpler" but what's most important for your bridesmaids is to recognize that anything you require them to wear at your wedding is not a gift. It's a very nice gesture that you are paying for their dresses/shoes/etc., just remember that, for instance, if you want them all to wear matching necklaces or earrings and buy those for them, they are not a gift. A gift is a thank you for standing up with you at your wedding, and while it doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive, it should be tailored to each person in your party's tastes and interests, i.e. shop for the gift as though you were shopping for their birthday present. 

Maggie0829

Regardless of whether or not you pay for their attire, you should determine what gift/gifts you give based on your budget and your BMs likes and hobbies.  So take your wedding and what you are paying for out of the equation.  Just focus on your friendships and what gifts you think that they will love.

Bigwands

That's really all I wanted to know.  I still plan on getting them each an actual gift, but it would be something more sentimental than extravagant.  I've seen some cute charm necklaces on Etsy that I could get specifically to fit each of them.

That's a good point about the "uniform" really not being a gift.  Thank you for mentioning that.

[Deleted User]

Bigwands said:

That's really all I wanted to know.  I still plan on getting them each an actual gift, but it would be something more sentimental than extravagant.  I've seen some cute charm necklaces on Etsy that I could get specifically to fit each of them.

That's a good point about the "uniform" really not being a gift.  Thank you for mentioning that.

I'd be careful with the charm necklaces as well.  For example, while you might know me well enough to know I like books and want to get me a book charm necklace, you'd also need to know that I don't wear necklaces.  So while you'd be getting me a gift that was meant specifically for me, if it was a necklace it would quickly be donated or regifted.  An Actual book though?  Awesome and appreciated.

princessleia22

Bigwands said:

That's really all I wanted to know.  I still plan on getting them each an actual gift, but it would be something more sentimental than extravagant.  I've seen some cute charm necklaces on Etsy that I could get specifically to fit each of them.

That's a good point about the "uniform" really not being a gift.  Thank you for mentioning that.

An extravagant gift is never required. Even a small, less expensive (or even free), but sentimental gift that has meaning to both of you is certainly appropriate.  Honestly, I'd rather have something small and sentimental, or even just something that shows you put thought into getting something "I" like, rather than an expensive cookie cutter gift. 

Bigwands

adk19 said:

Bigwands said:

That's really all I wanted to know.  I still plan on getting them each an actual gift, but it would be something more sentimental than extravagant.  I've seen some cute charm necklaces on Etsy that I could get specifically to fit each of them.

That's a good point about the "uniform" really not being a gift.  Thank you for mentioning that.

I'd be careful with the charm necklaces as well.  For example, while you might know me well enough to know I like books and want to get me a book charm necklace, you'd also need to know that I don't wear necklaces.  So while you'd be getting me a gift that was meant specifically for me, if it was a necklace it would quickly be donated or regifted.  An Actual book though?  Awesome and appreciated.

Well yeah.  I'm having 5 "bridespeople", 3 of which are my siblings and the other 2 are very close friends, so I shouldn't have too much trouble finding a gift they'd actually really like.

Now I'm thinking I want to get them books instead... damn.

Maggie0829

Bigwands said:

adk19 said:

Bigwands said:

That's really all I wanted to know.  I still plan on getting them each an actual gift, but it would be something more sentimental than extravagant.  I've seen some cute charm necklaces on Etsy that I could get specifically to fit each of them.

That's a good point about the "uniform" really not being a gift.  Thank you for mentioning that.

I'd be careful with the charm necklaces as well.  For example, while you might know me well enough to know I like books and want to get me a book charm necklace, you'd also need to know that I don't wear necklaces.  So while you'd be getting me a gift that was meant specifically for me, if it was a necklace it would quickly be donated or regifted.  An Actual book though?  Awesome and appreciated.

Well yeah.  I'm having 5 "bridespeople", 3 of which are my siblings and the other 2 are very close friends, so I shouldn't have too much trouble finding a gift they'd actually really like.

Now I'm thinking I want to get them books instead... damn.

You do realize that they all don't have to be the same gift right?  Like one person could be gifted a charm necklace, another a set of books, and another fancy wine.

Bigwands

That...would make sense.  All this stuff is like learning a new language or culture or something.  Now I feel dumb.

artbyallie

Maggie0829 said:

Bigwands said:

adk19 said:

Bigwands said:

That's really all I wanted to know.  I still plan on getting them each an actual gift, but it would be something more sentimental than extravagant.  I've seen some cute charm necklaces on Etsy that I could get specifically to fit each of them.

That's a good point about the "uniform" really not being a gift.  Thank you for mentioning that.

I'd be careful with the charm necklaces as well.  For example, while you might know me well enough to know I like books and want to get me a book charm necklace, you'd also need to know that I don't wear necklaces.  So while you'd be getting me a gift that was meant specifically for me, if it was a necklace it would quickly be donated or regifted.  An Actual book though?  Awesome and appreciated.

Well yeah.  I'm having 5 "bridespeople", 3 of which are my siblings and the other 2 are very close friends, so I shouldn't have too much trouble finding a gift they'd actually really like.

Now I'm thinking I want to get them books instead... damn.

You do realize that they all don't have to be the same gift right?  Like one person could be gifted a charm necklace, another a set of books, and another fancy wine.

It's not a bad idea, though. We got books for our wedding party. One got a cookbook, one a book of knitting patterns, one a fantasy novel, etc.

Maggie0829

Bigwands said:

That...would make sense.  All this stuff is like learning a new language or culture or something.  Now I feel dumb.

Don't feel dumb.  There are tons of things on this website and pinterest and etsy and in tv and movies and all other places that push identical cutesy gifts for BMs.  So sometimes the obvious things aren't always obvious after being bombarded with one way of thinking for so long

princessleia22

Bigwands said:

That...would make sense.  All this stuff is like learning a new language or culture or something.  Now I feel dumb.

For bridal party gifts, just shop for each of them like you would for their birthday.  It doesn't have to be anything big.  Just something that you think they would like as a way to show your appreciation.

VicTim328

Anytime you spend money on someone, it is a gift.  If it is something they are required to wear during the ceremony, then you most likely want to do something else.

I hate the term "shop as if it were their birthday."  It's not their birthday, and it is not a birthday gift.  Treat it as what it is, a thank you gift.  By all means, make it personal, but also remember, this is a thank you gift.  This is a way for you to thank these special people for standing with you and putting in lots of time/effort/finances (which is also a gift from them).  If your BP host a shower or an event, that is a gift.  If they help you stuff envelopes or fold programs, that is a gift.  If they go to fittings with you, that is a gift.  They have given little pieces of themselves to you throughout your relationship with each of them.  A thank you gift should be tailored to the recipient, but also express your gratitude.   How do you best tell these people "thank you?"

My favorite BP gift I have ever received was a dual 5x7 frame with a photo of the bride and me, then a card in the other half recalling when/why we became friends.  It was the most beautiful heartfelt thank you I have ever received.  Is it anything like what she has done/would do for my birthday? Absolutely not, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

AddieCake

Knottie1437418780 said:

Anytime you spend money on someone, it is a gift.  If it is something they are required to wear during the ceremony, then you most likely want to do something else.

I hate the term "shop as if it were their birthday."  It's not their birthday, and it is not a birthday gift.  Treat it as what it is, a thank you gift.  By all means, make it personal, but also remember, this is a thank you gift.  This is a way for you to thank these special people for standing with you and putting in lots of time/effort/finances (which is also a gift from them).  If your BP host a shower or an event, that is a gift.  If they help you stuff envelopes or fold programs, that is a gift.  If they go to fittings with you, that is a gift.  They have given little pieces of themselves to you throughout your relationship with each of them.  A thank you gift should be tailored to the recipient, but also express your gratitude.   How do you best tell these people "thank you?"

My favorite BP gift I have ever received was a dual 5x7 frame with a photo of the bride and me, then a card in the other half recalling when/why we became friends.  It was the most beautiful heartfelt thank you I have ever received.  Is it anything like what she has done/would do for my birthday? Absolutely not, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The point of us telling people "shop like it's their birthday or Christmas" is to remind people to make it personal, something you would get them as a gift even if you were not getting married, and stop thinking everyone has to get the same necklace or flask or engraved trinket box.

huskypuppy14

Maggie0829 said:

Bigwands said:

That...would make sense.  All this stuff is like learning a new language or culture or something.  Now I feel dumb.

Don't feel dumb.  There are tons of things on this website and pinterest and etsy and in tv and movies and all other places that push identical cutesy gifts for BMs.  So sometimes the obvious things aren't always obvious after being bombarded with one way of thinking for so long

Yes this is why the forums can be very helpful. It's so refreshing to have an OP that is actually listening to the advice being given.

I gave my sister and my best friend bottles of wine with a wine bottle coozie and a specialty wine glasses. I got my other sister a coach wristlet and a teacher related coffee cup (she rarely drinks alcohol). They all also got godiva chocolate, a compact, and a candle, some lip gloss and maybe something else. So two of my bridesmaids got similar things, because they both love wine. My other sister doesn't drink wine, so getting her wine would have been a terrible gift. 

I did not get my bridesmaids jewelry, even though that's the go to gift, because they each had their own jewelry they could wear. I had also gotten my best friend earnings for her birthday (6 months before my wedding) and she ended up wearing those to the wedding. 

MandyMost

I actually got all of my "bridespeople" (love that word, haha) the same gift. A unisex hoodie sweatshirt, that I owned and was my favorite sweatshirt and comes in like 100 different colors, and a wine stopper with the city location as a decoration on top. At my bachelorette party we were all freezing for the whole weekend, so the sweatshirt was kind of a joke back to that, and I had fun picking a color for everyone. Everyone in my party loves wine so that was a no-brainer, and I knew they'd use it. And the city is a major US city that everyone had a connection with aside from my wedding.