I have two friends that I am very close with. One I have known since I was in preschool, the other I have known since middle school. I do not have any siblings so one of these two will be my MOH. I am very conflicted about which one it should be.
The first girl that I have known since I have been in preschool is definitely expecting to be my MOH. I have not "officially" asked her, but ages ago before I was even engaged she did ask me if she would be my MOH, and she has definitely made the assumption that she will be (we recently went to a mutual friends wedding and she was talking about how she hoped her MOH would be as good as that one).
The second girl I have known for an extremely long time as well, and have recently been much more close to her. All three of us are close friends.
The problem that I am having is that recently I am not nearly as close with the older friend. No falling out or anything like that, she just got a boyfriend and a new job and does not come around our group of friends nearly as much anymore. I still talk to her regularly, but not nearly as much as I would have previously considered "normal" (we used to talk everyday, now probably talk once a week). Since I have been engaged (almost a year), I have only seen her three times. Again, no problem with her, we have just drifted recently. My other friend, I do talk to everyday, and see usually at least once a week. I have just been closer to her in the past year.
I do want both of them to be in my wedding party, but recently I have felt that I would rather have the second girl be my MOH. I think she will be there more for me, both to help me out with wedding things (which I understand is not a requirement of a BM, but still nice that I know she would do that), as well as emotionally. I do not want to cause any type of problem with my oldest friend, still want her to be a BM, and I know she will be hurt if she is not my MOH. If I choose the oldest friend, the other girl may be hurt as well because she knows we have recently been much closer.
I know having two MOH is an option, but I'm really not sure if this is something I would want, and the oldest friend might also be hurt by "sharing" the position.
Any comments on what you would do would be appreciated