Matron of Honors Family

MGP

Jen4948 said:

Knottie1436906691 said:

It's a little off when money becomes involved with this friend. The wedding of her son was hosted by her and her husband. I was asked to help decorate and she was short on the hall rental so I covered it the night before so we could get in to decorate. I was asked to do hair for the wedding and ended up doing 10 heads that morning. And we missed the beginning of the service. We then went out for supper and came back to reception to pay $5/drink. But that's who they are. Also why I took the money out of the card that I had for bride and groom. I felt not getting paid for doing hair, covering the room rental(even if they will never know that) was enough of a gift. As to my MOH. She is no longer my MOH. She said if her kids can't be there than she wouldn't be there. I told her they could come to ceremony and if she really wanted them there than to the dance. I just couldn't justify cutting 12 people so her kids and their so's others could be there. We have been friends for 14 years and I knew it wasn't going to go well. So she has dropped out of the wedding and has stated we are no longer friends. It's a huge loss to me but it is my wedding right????

I think you're better off without her as a friend.  "But that's who they are" is not an excuse for treating people as extremely rudely as this woman is.

It's okay to set boundaries-even with BFFs.

Jen we had the exact same thoughts at the exact same time! 

Going to share a somewhat morbid story but I think it's appropriate for this discussion. My husband's best man unexpectedly died shortly after our wedding. He was the greatest friend you could ask for. It was also the second to last time we saw him. If I had been like OP's friend and put him to work, took his money, and didn't feed him? Talk about guilt I couldn't live with.

Seriously treat your guests (especially BFF's and wedding party) like royalty, not servants. You never, ever know what is going to happen.

princessleia22

Knottie1436906691 said:

It's a little off when money becomes involved with this friend. The wedding of her son was hosted by her and her husband. I was asked to help decorate and she was short on the hall rental so I covered it the night before so we could get in to decorate. I was asked to do hair for the wedding and ended up doing 10 heads that morning. And we missed the beginning of the service. We then went out for supper and came back to reception to pay $5/drink. But that's who they are. Also why I took the money out of the card that I had for bride and groom. I felt not getting paid for doing hair, covering the room rental(even if they will never know that) was enough of a gift. As to my MOH. She is no longer my MOH. She said if her kids can't be there than she wouldn't be there. I told her they could come to ceremony and if she really wanted them there than to the dance. I just couldn't justify cutting 12 people so her kids and their so's others could be there. We have been friends for 14 years and I knew it wasn't going to go well. So she has dropped out of the wedding and has stated we are no longer friends. It's a huge loss to me but it is my wedding right????

Wow... I'm sorry that your "friend" would do that to you.  I think you had every right to clarify that you just could not accommodate that many extra people. Her family would have taken up a huge chunk of your guest list, and like you said, you needed space for family and other people that you are closer to than her kids. And it was very unfair of her to expect you to do so. If she is willing to throw away your friendship over this, then maybe she wasn't that good of a friend after all. Maybe she will get over it after she cools down and you will be able to regain a friendship.  But, either way, I think she was definitely in the wrong here and overreacting.

SP29

Sounds like you're better off without this friend!

From her son's wedding, she had used and abused you! (I would be mortified to find out that my parent's friend paid for part of my reception venue cost!!!)

You were being more than nice in telling her her kids could come to the ceremony and dance (really the answer still should have been "no"). If they aren't invited, they aren't invited.

Yeesh. Good riddance! I hope you have a lovely wedding

justkatnow

It's a shame she has put you in such an awkward spot.  Like telling anyone someone is NOT invited, is easy!! But you will definitely have to let her know the situation. Making up excuses will allow her to counter your reason. If you are direct with her, then nothing to counter. If worried, she'll back out, then sorry to say, you don't seem to be losing much. She couldn't feed your family at her (son's) wedding, yet she wants to feed 12 people?? If you've done formal invites, remind her who was actually invited.  Hope things go smoothly for you!!