Wedding Reception Forum

Re: .

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    My fiancé and I have had our hearts set on an "extended cocktail hour" style reception. Everybody always LOVES cocktail hour, so our thought was to just extend that into our reception in lieu of a sit down dinner. We're still keeping with tradition in the sense that everyone will have an assigned seat. We're starting with a sit down salad, but the rest of dinner will be "station style" we had envisioned a carving station, pasta station and a few chafing dishes of veggies and that's just not how the plan is going. It has turned into a carving station and 8 chafing dishes comprised of meats, fishes and veggies. I don't know why but I guess we got caught up in all the planning and signed a contract for the carving station plus 8 chafing dishes and it's now turning into a cheap buffet look which I was trying to avoid. Any suggestions on how to set this up to NOT look like a cheap buffet would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
    No, not everybody loves cocktail hours, especially people who don't drink alcohol or have trouble standing and walking with a drink and a plate of food.. 
    A buffet is a buffet.  Trying to turn it into something else is just silly, and it won't fool anybody.  There is nothing wrong with a buffet dinner.  I would suggest that you go with that, and forget about the "extended cocktail hour" idea.  Make sure that there is a chair and table for every behind.  Why do you think buffets are cheap?  Ever been to the Bellagio in Las Vegas?  Don't let your wedding vision interfere with your guests' comfort.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    As someone who had a buffet reception, I'm offended that you're calling buffets cheap. Ours was far from cheap, I assure you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Buffets can be far from cheap.

    And as a wedding guest, I care more about the quality and taste of the food then how it is presented.

  • Seconding @AddieCake that buffets (or "chef stations", which is what we did) are not cheap and I would hope they didn't look cheap. Also, as a guest who doesn't have dietary restrictions but tends to be picky, I'd take a "cheap" buffet any day over a seated dinner where I don't get to choose all the fixings I want on my plate. There is nothing wrong with buffets. 

    If it is really problematic that this might look like a buffet, see if they can put the chafing dishes in different areas of the room. Voila, stations. We had a carving station, pasta station, and an "international" station which were each in a different corner. The only thing that made it different from a buffet was the layout and the fact that we had servers at each station (and they could prepare some things custom). Everyone thought it was interesting, but really the only part that mattered was that the food was good. 
  • Seconding @AddieCake that buffets (or "chef stations", which is what we did) are not cheap and I would hope they didn't look cheap. Also, as a guest who doesn't have dietary restrictions but tends to be picky, I'd take a "cheap" buffet any day over a seated dinner where I don't get to choose all the fixings I want on my plate. There is nothing wrong with buffets. 

    If it is really problematic that this might look like a buffet, see if they can put the chafing dishes in different areas of the room. Voila, stations. We had a carving station, pasta station, and an "international" station which were each in a different corner. The only thing that made it different from a buffet was the layout and the fact that we had servers at each station (and they could prepare some things custom). Everyone thought it was interesting, but really the only part that mattered was that the food was good. 
    We are having a buffet, and it certainly is not cheap!  I like the fact that my guests can have some of all of the entrees if they wish or avoid a certain one that doesn't appeal to them.  From personal experience, I have found that less people complained about their food being cold when served buffet style.  I was table number 14 once, and my served food was ice cold, and table number 5 another time and my food was barely warm.  I like the highlighted above if you are trying to make things look a little different. 
  • @NikkiFattizzi might want to change your username btw
  • I'm having a buffet.  It won't be fancy, but even for brunch stuff it's not super cheap... 

    Don't put lipstick on a pig; call a spade a spade; if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

    You're having a buffet.  OWN IT!
  • You're having a buffet with a carving station. There's nothing wrong with that. Buffets are not cheap and can very often be more expensive than plated meals. Stop worrying.

    Decorate the table nicely with fresh flowers and label each dish with its fancy name. Done.
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  • Honestlty, if someone invited me to an "extended cocktail hour" as a reception, I would decline unless it was very close family.  Forget the cocktails - give me FOOD!
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  • CMGragain said:
    Honestlty, if someone invited me to an "extended cocktail hour" as a reception, I would decline unless it was very close family.  Forget the cocktails - give me FOOD!
    But you wouldn't know it was an "extended cocktail hour" since stating such on your invite is rude. Right?

  • My fiancé and I have had our hearts set on an "extended cocktail hour" style reception. Everybody always LOVES cocktail hour, so our thought was to just extend that into our reception in lieu of a sit down dinner. We're still keeping with tradition in the sense that everyone will have an assigned seat. We're starting with a sit down salad, but the rest of dinner will be "station style" we had envisioned a carving station, pasta station and a few chafing dishes of veggies and that's just not how the plan is going. It has turned into a carving station and 8 chafing dishes comprised of meats, fishes and veggies. I don't know why but I guess we got caught up in all the planning and signed a contract for the carving station plus 8 chafing dishes and it's now turning into a cheap buffet look which I was trying to avoid. Any suggestions on how to set this up to NOT look like a cheap buffet would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
    I don't get how this is any different than an buffet. As PPs said, there is nothing wrong with a buffet and a lot of people prefer them. If the food is good, buffets are not considered cheap. 

    An "extended cocktail hour" feel would be no assigned tables, nothing plated or served to tables by servers, a lot of smaller tables with a mix of high tops and regular sized tables. Like a cocktail hour. 

    I had a cocktail style reception with TONS of food - both appetizer style options and buffet options - and all the food was out all night long. Most was on buffet tables, there was one carving station and a few passed apps. There were more than enough chairs for everyone to sit and also some higher bar type tables. It worked out really really well, but we also only had 33 people. I think doing that with more than like 80 people would be a complete clusterfuck. 
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  • Dude, you're having a buffet. Buffets are not tacky.  Stop trying to make it something it's not.

    FYI I have been to crazy buffets, and they are fantastic and the exact opposite of "cheap." 


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  • edited August 2015

    Our venue offers plated (cheapest - you get 1 option and can pay a split price to have 2 choices of meal), buffet (next expensive) and then "stationed" which is the most expensive. We're doing the buffet which is pretty similar to the stationed option only we get less food by one meat I think and an extra side? When we went for our tasting it was set up as stations - one corner was carving, another mashed potato bar, a seafood/tofu area and so on.

    We get a carving station with turkey and a beef, as well as buffet-style veggies, chicken, fish and then our cake will be stationed later for dessert. Usually buffets can be more expensive at certain venues because you get way more food. A lot of times stationed have people manning the station I guess - at least that's how our tasting was. 

    I think it's all about set up here. Work with your vendor/caterer on how this is typically handled and get a layout of the room. So long as everyone is assigned a table and can sit (not stand like during most cocktail hours or have the choice of 3 or 4 small tables) I think it will be just fine.

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  • CMGragain said:

    Honestlty, if someone invited me to an "extended cocktail hour" as a reception, I would decline unless it was very close family.  Forget the cocktails - give me FOOD!

    As long as there is enough food to equal a meal, we both know that one would not name the type of reception on the invitation.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    CMGragain said:
    Honestlty, if someone invited me to an "extended cocktail hour" as a reception, I would decline unless it was very close family.  Forget the cocktails - give me FOOD!

    How would you know if it was an "extended cocktail hour" until you got there, especially if it's not supposed to be described on the invitation as anything but "reception" ?  As long as there's sufficient food to be the equivalent of a full meal, so what if it's hors d'oeuvres if it's at the right time of day?  Do you only accept invitations where receptions take place at meal time?

  • My fiancé and I have had our hearts set on an "extended cocktail hour" style reception. Everybody always LOVES cocktail hour, so our thought was to just extend that into our reception in lieu of a sit down dinner. We're still keeping with tradition in the sense that everyone will have an assigned seat. We're starting with a sit down salad, but the rest of dinner will be "station style" we had envisioned a carving station, pasta station and a few chafing dishes of veggies and that's just not how the plan is going. It has turned into a carving station and 8 chafing dishes comprised of meats, fishes and veggies. I don't know why but I guess we got caught up in all the planning and signed a contract for the carving station plus 8 chafing dishes and it's now turning into a cheap buffet look which I was trying to avoid. Any suggestions on how to set this up to NOT look like a cheap buffet would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
    I don't get how this is any different than an buffet. As PPs said, there is nothing wrong with a buffet and a lot of people prefer them. If the food is good, buffets are not considered cheap. 

    An "extended cocktail hour" feel would be no assigned tables, nothing plated or served to tables by servers, a lot of smaller tables with a mix of high tops and regular sized tables. Like a cocktail hour. 

    I had a cocktail style reception with TONS of food - both appetizer style options and buffet options - and all the food was out all night long. Most was on buffet tables, there was one carving station and a few passed apps. There were more than enough chairs for everyone to sit and also some higher bar type tables. It worked out really really well, but we also only had 33 people. I think doing that with more than like 80 people would be a complete clusterfuck. 
    Exactly. What you're having is a buffet, not an extended cocktail hour type of reception. Nothing wrong with that. If you don't like the word "buffet" then just don't use it...I've never seen "buffet" written anywhere at a wedding! 
  • donethatdonethat member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2015
    And one more morsel "food for thought".... (IMHO)

    Stations work great if guests are mingling/socializing ... up and down and can help themselves to whatever they like as they like it.  

    If all the guests are seated for dinner, and then served salads .... by turning your buffet line into stations, you will be turning 1 line into many lines.  Think about it ... after the lovely served salads, guests are invited up to the lovely entree buffet and allowed to make their choices.  They wait in line, plate in hand - choose, and then sit back down and enjoy.  

    IF the buffet (after the seated salads) is more than one table - guests actually have to wait in multiple lines.  

    Have your lovely cocktail hour.  Then, invite the guests to be seated for toasts and salads, and then be happy that they only have to wait in one line to enjoy their dinner.    
  • scribe95 said:
    Of course cocktail hours have food. But to me they are small nibbles. Much different than a meal. 
    You mean appetizers?  Appetizers can be as large and filling as you want them to be.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Apparently CMG has never been to one of my cocktail parties.  Trust me, you do not leave hungry.




    OP-  All styles of presentation have the ability to look expensive or they can look cheap. 8 chafers displayed the right way will bot look cheap. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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