Etiquette

Thank you note question

Hi everyone!

So this weekend was my bridal shower. It was so much fun and I am so thankful to all the ladies who hosted it!

I do have a question about thank you cards. All the ladies there gave me a gift which I opened at the shower. I already wrote all my thank you notes for those gifts and they will go in the mail Monday. However, 2 people gave me additional gifts after the shower was wrapping up. They were all wrapped and they gave them to me and said they were "wedding presents". I was shocked and said thank you so much and that they did not have to do that. I mean I had just got done opening their shower gifts. The 2 gifts were given to me for different reasons.

1. The lady will not be able to attend the wedding and wanted to give us the wedding gift since she would not see us again.

2. The lady will be at the wedding but wanted us to have the gift now so we had one less gift to worry about transporting it after the wedding.

The question is when do I write thank you notes for these? I know that we always say that you send it ASAP. Well that means they will get 2 thank you notes from me on the same day. One for the shower gift, one for the wedding gift. My thought was I would write the notes and maybe mail them in a week or 2. Both ladies handed me the gifts so they know I got them. They also both firmly called them "wedding gifts" as they had just given me a shower gift an hour before.

I see my options as the follows

A. Follow my initial idea and send the notes in a week or 2 to both ladies.

B Send the notes this week for the gifts and have them likely arrive the same day their shower thank you notes do.

C. Wait till the week before the wedding and send them then.

D. Do different things for each one because one lady will be at the wedding and one will not.

Thank you for all your thoughts!

Re: Thank you note question

  • If they got you both a wedding gift and a shower gift, I wouldn't see why one thank you note that mentions both gifts wouldn't do the trick? 
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  • How about option E: Write one note now for both of the gifts. Bridal/wedding shower gifts are wedding gifts (unless you just had a baby shower)? Both gifts are to celebrate your upcoming marriage so there is no reason to do separate cards. Plus I'd think it was really weird to get 2 separate cards when I knew you got both gifts on the same day, when you couldn't even possibly write and mail the first card before receiving the second gift.
    hashtag43016Heffalump
  • One note for both the gifts, now, for each of them.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    00kim00 said:
    How about option E: Write one note now for both of the gifts. Bridal/wedding shower gifts are wedding gifts (unless you just had a baby shower)? Both gifts are to celebrate your upcoming marriage so there is no reason to do separate cards. Plus I'd think it was really weird to get 2 separate cards when I knew you got both gifts on the same day, when you couldn't even possibly write and mail the first card before receiving the second gift.
    I agree with this. However, it was weird of those ladies to give them the gifts separately after the shower. They clearly wanted to distinguish that they were wedding gifts (even though shower gifts are wedding gifts).  I would have just written one thank you note for all gifts to each lady. There is no reason to write two separate notes for items you received on the same day from the same person. 
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    hashtag43016
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 2015
    Go ahead and include these gifts in the thank-you notes you're already sending them for their shower gifts.
  • adk19adk19
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 2015
    If you've already written the notes for the gifts you opened at the shower, pop those in the mail today.  Open the "wedding gifts" later today and write those TY notes tomorrow and pop them in the mail later this week.  I agree that you could have combined them, but if the first note is already written, go ahead and send a second note thanking them again.  One can never go wrong issuing too much thanks.

    ETA: One thing I can see with the difference between Shower gifts and Wedding gifts is that shower gifts are given to the Bride, Wedding gifts are given to the couple.  So maybe write the first note from you.  "I love the towels, they're so fluffy."  And the wedding note from both of you, "John and I thank you so much for the towels."
    JediElizabethKittenMittens84anjemon
  • HI everyone!

    Thank you so much for the fast replies!

    I should have added a key bit of info.

    I wrote the shower thank you's and dropped them in the mail box (we live in a town home so its a community out box that is locked). I had totally forgotten about the 2 "wedding gifts" until after I had put the thank yous in the mail already when my FI asked "Hey why are these 2 still wrapped?"

    So I will just go ahead and pop those additional thank you notes in the mail later this week and sign them from both of us.

    Thank you again!
    JediElizabethPupatella
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