Moms and Maids

MOH between 2 sisters

I am getting married in Sept 2016. I am the last of 3 sisters to marry. I am the middle sister.

My younger sister, E, and I are extermly close. I would call her my best friend and vice versa. We only live 1 town over from one another and see each other often. My older sister, J, lives in another state. We have a somewhat close relationship, but not like E and me. J and I are very different people. We try to see eye to eye, but it is hard at times.

The problem is when J got married many years ago, she asked E and me who would like to be her MOH. E jumped up and said she wanted to do it. We then decided at that point in time E would be Js, I would be Es and J would be mine. At the time it seemed like a very fair idea. Keep in mind this was 15 years ago.

We have followed that deal for the first 2 weddings. Now it's my turn. E now says she she would really love to be my MOH, because we are so close and she's going to be so involved in the planning (her choice, no pressure). I would love it to be that way too, for the same reasons. We are a little shy about bringing this idea up to J. She tends to be quite sensitive and gets upset easily (although this would be a legit reason I do realize). I don't want to upset her and have her unhappy leading up to and at the wedding.

I have suggested to E that J could be the MOH in title, but in spirit and in heart E would be my MOH too. E liked the thought but still wants the title.

Any suggestions on how to handle this? Thanks!

Re: MOH between 2 sisters

  • HID14118 said:
    I am getting married in Sept 2016. I am the last of 3 sisters to marry. I am the middle sister. My younger sister, E, and I are extermly close. I would call her my best friend and vice versa. We only live 1 town over from one another and see each other often. My older sister, J, lives in another state. We have a somewhat close relationship, but not like E and me. J and I are very different people. We try to see eye to eye, but it is hard at times. The problem is when J got married many years ago, she asked E and me who would like to be her MOH. E jumped up and said she wanted to do it. We then decided at that point in time E would be Js, I would be Es and J would be mine. At the time it seemed like a very fair idea. Keep in mind this was 15 years ago. We have followed that deal for the first 2 weddings. Now it's my turn. E now says she she would really love to be my MOH, because we are so close and she's going to be so involved in the planning (her choice, no pressure). I would love it to be that way too, for the same reasons. We are a little shy about bringing this idea up to J. She tends to be quite sensitive and gets upset easily (although this would be a legit reason I do realize). I don't want to upset her and have her unhappy leading up to and at the wedding. I have suggested to E that J could be the MOH in title, but in spirit and in heart E would be my MOH too. E liked the thought but still wants the title. Any suggestions on how to handle this? Thanks!
    Why not have 2 MOH's, or none? There is no difference between the roles of BM and MOH other than the title, so if you wanted all BMs and no MOHs that is fine as well. It is still a position of honor. 
    I would, however, suggest that you not do the bolded. Telling each sister something different could lead to hurt feelings.
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    switSwoo00[Deleted User]MairePoppySTARMOON44
  • I like the idea of the 2 MOHs. Just not sure how it will sit with the sisters. We are a very competitive family, so "ties" don't always sit well. :) I would be happy with whatever.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    AddieCake said:
    Pick someone else entirely and blow their minds.
    This.  Or just don't have a MOH at all.

  • HID14118 said:
    Pick someone else entirely and blow their minds.
    That idea made me smile. I have a 14 year old daughter who would love the role!
    Done and done.  That really is the most reasonable answer.  Your daughter is your MOH, your sisters are your bridesmaids.  If either of your sisters get bent out of shape because of this, they can decline the bridesmaid role and attend as a guest.
    OliveOilsMomSTARMOON44zitiqueen
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Ask them both to be MOHs.
  • I like the idea of asking your daughter to be MOH. Barring that, I would ask J. I realize this deal was made 15 years ago and things change and all that and if J was a friend you'd drifted apart from, I would say go with E, but J is someone who will be in your life forever and if she's as sensitive as you say, it will always affect your relationship. Maybe it shouldn't, but it will.

    Really, I don't see what the big deal is with E being a bridesmaid. She can do all the things she'd do as MOH as a bridesmaid. Why is so she worried about the title?
  • Just wanted to update. E and I talked and agreed that it would be best to keep with the deal we made 15 years ago. J will be my moh. Funny thing, later that same day, J texted E to tell her she wanted the role, but would understand if E was moh because of how close we are. That statement made me (and E) feel even better about the decision to have J take the role. So as it stands now, J will be moh and E and my daughter will be bridesmaids!
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