Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Venues - what would I regret more?

We are planning a large wedding on a tight budget - about $30,000 for 200 guests (which is apparently really difficult in this area).  I am cutting corners on alot of things - I am ok with buying a second-hand or sample dress, I will probably order invitations on vistaprint or just DIY, I plan on making my own favors and escort cards, and also do not want to spend much on flowers or centerpieces.  But I do not want to cut corners on my guests' experience - I want them to be well fed, comfortable, and entertained!  We are still in the early planning stages, choosing a venue right now.  We visited 5 and are choosing between our top two.

Venue A is absolutely beautiful.  We love the hall's decor and abundant windows, the large deck for cocktail hour, the enclosed outdoor area that the ceremony would be held in, and the various photo opps throughout the property. My mom's coworker that got married there has nothing but good things to say about the venue and staff.  There are nice B&B's in the area that me/FI and our families would stay in to avoid the half-hour drive home, and also a budget motel within walking distance from the venue for any other last-minute overnighters.  However, the venue is already booked for our first few date choices, so we would go with a date that is less than ideal, but still fine.  And, it's much more expensive than venue B, about 30% more.  To get everything we want from them would put us about 10K over budget, which would come from my and FI's pockets.

Venue B is such a great deal for the price!  We could offer our guest so much more in terms of hors d'eouvres and bar options, all within budget!  And the outdoor ceremony gazebo is gorgeous, the reception room is pretty nice too, but the rest of the place (bathrooms, entryway, etc) is very outdated.  The nearest hotel is a couple towns away, which is alright because most of our guests are local anyways, but nearby hotels would have been nice.  Also, I read a couple reviews about one of the owners being rude and difficult to work with.  I don't know that I would necessarily be working with her though.

So, we are trying to decide which venue to go with, and we are trying to think about what we might regret more - blowing our budget/making sacrafices, or skipping out on the place we like more.  Just wondering what your perspectives were, having already lived through the experience.  Thanks in advance for your input!

Re: Venues - what would I regret more?

  • melb2013melb2013 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited January 2013
    What are the venues, if you don't mind me asking?  We're getting married in Gloucester this May, so I understand that while 30k sounds like a ridiculous amount of money, it only buys a budget wedding around here (boy was I surpised by that).  I would go with Venue B- unless you can comfortably afford that extra 10k.  Here's another reality to consider, you will go a little over budget- have some cushion room to work with.  I thought we got a venue that we could easily afford and that would leave room in our budget... but... things happen and we're a couple thousand over.  Luckily I had planned for that to happen and had the money for it.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_venues-what-would-i-regret-more?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:f7a1f9d3-ede6-4f58-b1ec-9b380ae42b71Post:93adb212-0d1f-445e-a384-5bfc11660488">Re: Venues - what would I regret more?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What are the venues, if you don't mind me asking?  We're getting married in Gloucester this May, so I understand that while 30k sounds like a ridiculous amount of money, it only buys a budget wedding around here (boy was I surpised by that).  I would go with Venue B- unless you can comfortably afford that extra 10k.  Here's another reality to consider, you will go a little over budget- have some cushion room to work with.  I thought we got a venue that we could easily afford and that would leave room in our budget... but... things happen and we're a couple thousand over.  Luckily I had planned for that to happen and had the money for it.
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

    Venue A is the Hellenic Center in Ipswich, Venue B is Nahant Country Club (a great bargain for this area!).  Most of our guests are from Peabody or Lynn, MA.

    Our original total budget was 25K, (5K of it coming from our own pockets) and we figured we'd spend 15K on the ceremony/reception and 10K on everything else (DJ, photography, attire, invitations, etc).  We quickly realized that we can't reasonably feed 200 people for much less than 20K in this area, so our total budget went up to 30K.  If we do everything we want - passed hors d'oeuvres and open bar during cocktail hour and then a decent meal with a champaigne toast, it would cost us more like 28K at Hellenic Center, bringing the budget closer to 38K, 18K coming from our own pockets  :(
    We definitely can't swing that, so if we went there, we would have to cut some items from our "everything we want" list...
  • edited January 2013
    What do the venues include as far as all those details that add up? Linenes, ceremony chairs, reception chair, catering, cocktails, decor, forks, champagne/champagne glasses...

    I'm guessing that venue A has a lot of that covered and venue B does not. IF that's the case, venue A may actually be a better deal.

    And I'm having a flowerless wedding to save money. We will carry parasols down the aisle. The bms' parasols will match my dress (white) and my parasol will match their dresses (pale blue). The centerpieces will be a (nice) bowl of water over round mirrors with floating candles. My venue includes the center pieces except for the candles (hello Target!).

    So bust out your excel spreadsheet and come up with specifics. Research DJs in your area and get a better idea of the cost. Same with EVERYTHING else. Your budget right now sounds too vague.



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  • CnJ2014CnJ2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_venues-what-would-i-regret-more?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:f7a1f9d3-ede6-4f58-b1ec-9b380ae42b71Post:f143027d-597a-4811-883a-0684c041562b">Re: Venues - what would I regret more?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What do the venues include as far as all those details that add up? Linenes, ceremony chairs, reception chair, catering, cocktails, decor, forks, champagne/champagne glasses... I'm guessing that venue A has a lot of that covered and venue B does not. IF that's the case, venue A may actually be a better deal. And I'm having a flowerless wedding to save money. We will carry parasols down the aisle. The bms' parasols will match my dress (white) and my parasol will match their dresses (pale blue). The centerpieces will be a (nice) bowl of water over round mirrors with floating candles. My venue includes the center pieces except for the candles (hello Target!). So bust out your excel spreadsheet and come up with specifics. Research DJs in your area and get a better idea of the cost. Same with EVERYTHING else. Your budget right now sounds too vague.
    Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]

    I think my budget sounds more vague than it really is because I summarized it to keep the post shorter... you should see the spreadsheets I have going!  I based my budget on what the knot budget tool recommended I spend, costofwedding.com (a great source!) and also just on what averages look like in my area, and then I adjusted the numbers based on what items I planned on DIYing or spending less on (like my dress - sources tell me to spend well over 1,000, but I want to find one second hand for under 500, so I budgeted for 800 to leave room for alterations etc).

    After comparing what each package included, it turned out to be the opposite of what you would expect!  Venue B actually includes so much more in its package, like centerpieces, cheese and veggie plates, and even my wedding cake (from a great local bakery I am familiar with)!!  Without all those add-ons, venue A was only 4K more, but once I considered everything that's included in each package (apps, toasts, cake, tax, gratuity), venue A is actually closer to 8-10K more!!!  The only added expense that venue A includes that venue B does not is Chiavari chairs, but we would probably just go with the standard chairs at venue B anyways.  I just wish I made this spreadsheet BEFORE I fell in love with venue A.

    The more I talk about it, the more I realize that the affordable option is probably the best option.  I just don't want to regret passing on a venue I like so much!  I probably should never have even visited it in the first place...

    Love your ideas about the parasols and centerpieces!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_venues-what-would-i-regret-more?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:f7a1f9d3-ede6-4f58-b1ec-9b380ae42b71Post:6fa5d581-f7db-4128-b044-6b4182b45891">Re: Venues - what would I regret more?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Venues - what would I regret more? : Venue A is the Hellenic Center in Ipswich, Venue B is Nahant Country Club (a great bargain for this area!).  Most of our guests are from Peabody or Lynn, MA. Our original total budget was 25K, (5K of it coming from our own pockets) and we figured we'd spend 15K on the ceremony/reception and 10K on everything else (DJ, photography, attire, invitations, etc).  We quickly realized that we can't reasonably feed 200 people for much less than 20K in this area, so our total budget went up to 30K.  If we do everything we want - passed hors d'oeuvres and open bar during cocktail hour and then a decent meal with a champaigne toast, it would cost us more like 28K at Hellenic Center, bringing the budget closer to 38K, 18K coming from our own pockets  :( We definitely can't swing that, so if we went there, we would have to cut some items from our "everything we want" list...
    Posted by CnJ2014[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>We're spending 17k on everything at our venue for 150 and that includes a lot of extras as far as food and drink.  It includes venue fee, ceremony fee, open bar for the whole night, chairs, linens, a signature drink, upgraded champage toast, passed hors d'oeuvres, two stations for cocktail hour, the most expensive stationed dinner option, a late night snack, and a flaming coffee drink bar.  We're getting married at Cruiseport Gloucester.  I totally feel your pain here- it took a long to find a place that was reasonably priced.  Maybe you should look into that place?</div><div>
    </div><div>You could spend less than 15k for 200 there and still get a full meal, hors d'oeuvres, and a partially open bar.</div><div>
    </div>

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_venues-what-would-i-regret-more?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:f7a1f9d3-ede6-4f58-b1ec-9b380ae42b71Post:92c02cb7-345e-4f0e-b067-784eb45d2dd9">Re: Venues - what would I regret more?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Venues - what would I regret more? : We're spending 17k on everything at our venue for 150 and that includes a lot of extras as far as food and drink.  It includes venue fee, ceremony fee, open bar for the whole night, chairs, linens, a signature drink, upgraded champage toast, passed hors d'oeuvres, two stations for cocktail hour, the most expensive stationed dinner option, a late night snack, and a flaming coffee drink bar.  We're getting married at Cruiseport Gloucester.  I totally feel your pain here- it took a long to find a place that was reasonably priced.  Maybe you should look into that place? You could spend less than 15k for 200 there and still get a full meal, hors d'oeuvres, and a partially open bar.
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

    Wow I'll have to look into that!  Thanks :)
  • I would spend what you can afford. If option B is within your budget but you are not crazy about it, I would keep looking (not sure how much time you have left) Smile
  • You can easily cut the favors, no one will miss them.  Also, the champagne toast, though nice, is an extra you could do without.  Most people are not champagne fans and it will go to waste.  Let people toast with what they are already drinking.
  • Is there any room to cut the guest list?  Or what about picking a date that's more off season or a Friday/Sunday night or an afternoon wedding (if not already considered).  If all else fails, go with the cheaper venue that fits your budget.  There will always be bigger and better out there.  In the end, as long as serve your guests good food and drinks and play good music, you'll have a great wedding!

  • I echo that you should go with what you can afford. You might not love the appearance of the venue, but so long as your guests will be comfortable I would say it's fine and you're nitpicking.
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  • It's one day. I'd go with option B. 
  • Thank you all SO much for your input, advice, and perspectives!  I am moving forward with venue B, the more affordable venue.  :)

    Of course I liked the pricier venue better... just like I would like to buy a $20,000 car rather than a $5,000 car, lol.  But I need to use my head and stick to what I can afford so I don't end up having to cut everything else I wanted out of my wedding.

    It is still a beautiful venue, with a gorgeous garden and gazebo for the ceremony and a lovely sun room for cocktail hour... no one will ever notice the outdated wallpaper in the entryway or other silly things like that.  The more I think about it, the more I know it is the place our wedding was meant to be!

    AND, they were already able to pencil us in for our preferred date - July 12, 2014!!  :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_venues-what-would-i-regret-more?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:f7a1f9d3-ede6-4f58-b1ec-9b380ae42b71Post:a3a6f64e-26a1-4876-a4c6-3d9c4583116f">Re: Venues - what would I regret more?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You can easily cut the favors</strong>, no one will miss them.  Also, <strong>the champagne toast, though nice, is an extra you could do without</strong>.  Most people are not champagne fans and it will go to waste.  Let people toast with what they are already drinking.
    Posted by gailpete[/QUOTE]

    Seconded.

    Also, OP if you come back to this thread, I was going to suggest that you take engagement photos at the first venue since you love it so much.  But I agree with everyone else, have your wedding at venue B!  You will be so glad that you saved that 10k!
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  • I wish I could do a $30K budget :(.....but we got so much with our lil $6k that Im sure it'll work out well for you....

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