Is this bride here- we need to talk some sense into her

huskypuppy14

http://dearwendy.com/updates-one-dress-two-dress-responds/

Bridesmaid said she'd be in her friends wedding, bought a dress (a year before the wedding). Eventually found out she was pregnant and her due date was right around the wedding. Once she realizes she won't make it to the wedding, tells her bride friend, and the bride replaces her with someone else. They can't get the same dresses so she makes everyone (the other 5-6 bridesmaids) buy a whole new dress for 400 dollars!

lyndausvi

oh hell no.

hellohkb

What in the actual fuck?

thisismynickname2

NOPE

huskypuppy14

Sorry, you get one bridesmaid dress. How about not replacing a bridesmaid and you wouldn't be in this situation. And the poor mom to be thinks it's all her fault. No honey, your friend is being an ass.

kimmiinthemitten

I'm kind of surprised the bride didn't complain that one of her BM had the nerve to be so overwhelmingly pregnant on her special day!  I mean, clearly she should have already had an extra groomsman since the baby is basically because:  even sides.

loveislouder

I'm surprised the rest of the bridesmaids agreed to that! I'd be so out.

lyndausvi

loveislouder said:

I'm surprised the rest of the bridesmaids agreed to that! I'd be so out.

yeah, they need to learn the word "no".

teddygirl9

I don't think i'd pay $400 for a bm dress, let alone a SECOND one.

[Deleted User]

No.

kvruns

In situations like this I always wonder how I'd actually act.  It's easy for me to say I wouldn't spend $250, let alone an additional $400 and I like to think that would happen but I also know it would be really hard to say no to one of my best friends.  Although my friend did want us to have matching $90 prom-looking shoes and we put our collective foot down on that so perhaps I'd be better at the dress issue than I think! Maybe I just can't wrap my head around it because I'd never think of this even occurring with a friend so it doesn't seem like a real situation in my brain.

sarahufl

I wouldn't spend the first $250 on a dress, nevermind the second $400.

But it is hard to say no, I get that to some extent. I was a BM for a particularly difficult friend right after college (read: when I was broke) and should have put my foot down about a dress but didn't. It was around $200 and went straight to Goodwill because it was hideous and ill-fitting. But she is the type of friend who you just can't say no to.

Now, 10 years later, I would have the balls to do it but didn't at the time.

emmaaa

Nope. nope. NOPE!

Maggie0829

loveislouder said:

I'm surprised the rest of the bridesmaids agreed to that! I'd be so out.

Yeah I think I probably would have peed myself from laughing so hard at the bride for even suggesting it.  Then, after realizing she was serious, she would have gotten the "you have to be f-ing kidding me?!" followed by a big fat no.

novella1186

sarahufl said:

I wouldn't spend the first $250 on a dress, nevermind the second $400.

But it is hard to say no, I get that to some extent. I was a BM for a particularly difficult friend right after college (read: when I was broke) and should have put my foot down about a dress but didn't. It was around $200 and went straight to Goodwill because it was hideous and ill-fitting. But she is the type of friend who you just can't say no to.

Now, 10 years later, I would have the balls to do it but didn't at the time.

I'd like to think none of my friends are the kind of people who would even put me in that situation in the first place. However, if one of them did, I'd probably be re-thinking the friendship. That's just a shitty thing to do. Even if I had an extra $400 just lying around, I'd rather spend it on something other than Ugly Mandatory Dress #2 

l9i

novella1186 said:

sarahufl said:

I wouldn't spend the first $250 on a dress, nevermind the second $400.

But it is hard to say no, I get that to some extent. I was a BM for a particularly difficult friend right after college (read: when I was broke) and should have put my foot down about a dress but didn't. It was around $200 and went straight to Goodwill because it was hideous and ill-fitting. But she is the type of friend who you just can't say no to.

Now, 10 years later, I would have the balls to do it but didn't at the time.

I'd like to think none of my friends are the kind of people who would even put me in that situation in the first place. However, if one of them did, I'd probably be re-thinking the friendship. That's just a shitty thing to do. Even if I had an extra $400 just lying around, I'd rather spend it on something other than Ugly Mandatory Dress #2 

This. I thought the crazy bride I'm dealing with now wouldn't be that bride but she is but thankfully it's not to that extent.  I does make you rethink friendships though and I think at that point if she'd pull something like this I'd have zero problem saying no and taking an exit.  My guess is the whole buying a second dress wasn't the only attrocious thing this bride did.

julieanne912

A friend of mine is in a wedding next month where the bridesmaid dress was in the $500 range.  I just can't imagine asking ANYBODY to spend $500 on anything, let alone a dress they'll wear once just for me.  

lyndausvi

kvruns said:

In situations like this I always wonder how I'd actually act.  It's easy for me to say I wouldn't spend $250, let alone an additional $400 and I like to think that would happen but I also know it would be really hard to say no to one of my best friends.  Although my friend did want us to have matching $90 prom-looking shoes and we put our collective foot down on that so perhaps I'd be better at the dress issue than I think! Maybe I just can't wrap my head around it because I'd never think of this even occurring with a friend so it doesn't seem like a real situation in my brain.

Oh I know exactly how I would be.   $250-300 would be my max budget for a dress.  So I wouldn't have an issue with buying the first dress.   However, I would be damned to spend an additional $400 for an event I've already have a dress.   I would drop out of being a BM and wear the $250 dress to the event.

No question.  $650 in just dresses is just asinine.  Still have shoes, hair, makeup (I suck at that and feel it's worth the cost to pay for a profession).    Then you have showers, possible travel time.   

Being a BM is expensive enough, no fucking way I'm going to spend $650 in just dresses.  One of which I'm no longer wearing.

Granted I'm a enough of a bitch I would never buy a BM dress over a year out either.  Fuck that.   Shit happens, weights change, people get pregnant.   No, just no.   

sarahufl

novella1186 said:

sarahufl said:

I wouldn't spend the first $250 on a dress, nevermind the second $400.

But it is hard to say no, I get that to some extent. I was a BM for a particularly difficult friend right after college (read: when I was broke) and should have put my foot down about a dress but didn't. It was around $200 and went straight to Goodwill because it was hideous and ill-fitting. But she is the type of friend who you just can't say no to.

Now, 10 years later, I would have the balls to do it but didn't at the time.

I'd like to think none of my friends are the kind of people who would even put me in that situation in the first place. However, if one of them did, I'd probably be re-thinking the friendship. That's just a shitty thing to do. Even if I had an extra $400 just lying around, I'd rather spend it on something other than Ugly Mandatory Dress #2 

Yeah.....I have reconsidered my friendship with this girl a number of times over the years - currently doing it again......

MissKittyDanger

My bridesmaids dresses were $80 each. AFTER TAX! They're all simple black dresses and they can wear again {one wore her dress to work, and got many compliments on it}

2 weddings I was a BM in, I wore the same dress. Still hanging in my closet! If my BM's were my size, I would have offered that dress to them.

Prices are insane!