Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

are these readings good enough for a ceremony?

I was just wondering what you guys think about the following readings that my fiancee and I have picked for our ceremony (my parents don't think they're spiritual or meaningful enough). FYI - we're having a same sex marriage in a courtyard, are not religious, and aren't planning on doing any kind of unity ceremony (sand, candles, broom, etc). Thanks!

Union – by Robert Fulghum

 

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks — all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will"- those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe"- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, " You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall both say to the world, this- is my wife.

 

 

Blessing For A Marriage, by James Dillet Freeman

 

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding. May you always need one another – not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete. The valley does not make the mountain less, but more. And the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.  May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you succeed in all-important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces. May you look for things to praise,  often say “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back. May you enter into the mystery that is the awareness of one another’s presence – no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities. May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

 

 

Re: are these readings good enough for a ceremony?

  • I think those are both great readings.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2015
    I was just wondering what you guys think about the following readings that my fiancee and I have picked for our ceremony (my parents don't think they're spiritual or meaningful enough). FYI - we're having a same sex marriage in a courtyard, are not religious, and aren't planning on doing any kind of unity ceremony (sand, candles, broom, etc). Thanks!

    Union – by Robert Fulghum

     

    You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks — all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will"- those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe"- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, " You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word." Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall both say to the world, this- is my wife.

     

     

    Blessing For A Marriage, by James Dillet Freeman

     

    May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding. May you always need one another – not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete. The valley does not make the mountain less, but more. And the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.  May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you succeed in all-important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces. May you look for things to praise,  often say “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back. May you enter into the mystery that is the awareness of one another’s presence – no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities. May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

     

     

    Well I had Union as a reading at my wedding, so I think it's great. I also am not religious at all so I wanted something that was meaningful, but didn't have any religious connotations. 

    Guess what, this is your wedding, not your parents. It doesn't matter what they think, because the ceremony is for you, not them. If you and your FI like those readings, that is all that matters. Why do they even know what readings you will be doing? The only person who knew the reading ahead of time was my BIL because he was reading it and we wanted to make sure he was comfortable with it. If they are trying to control your wedding ceremony readings (who does that!) what else will they want to control in your life. Where you live? What you name your children? Nip this in the bud now!
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    [Deleted User]
  • Those are both lovely. What on earth is wrong with them?!
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  • I love both of your readings!! We are using Union in our wedding ceremony so I may be biased...

    Your ceremony is very personal between you and your FI, and you both should plan it the way that you feel is best. If those are the two readings that spoke to you, then use them. I think they are beautiful.

  • As a guest I never really listen to the readings.  Yeah I hear the person talking but it isn't like I am on the edge of my seat taking in every word.  The readings are not for the guests or for your parents, they are for you and your FI, so if you both love these readings then that is what you should include in your ceremony.  Don't let the opinions of your parents sway you because again, these readings aren't for them, they are for you.

  • We used Union in our ceremony. We got so many compliments on it while we were doing table visits. It was new to our guests and they lived it.
  • We used Union in our ceremony. We got so many compliments on it while we were doing table visits. It was new to our guests and they lived it.
    Yep.  My sister used Union in her non-religious wedding.  Your parents don't get a say in your readings.
  • I used Union as well so I'm partial to that!
  • both are great! Pick the one that moves you the most and you can not go wrong. Best wishes!
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