Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Sand Ceremony for Blended Family

We have decided to do a sand ceremony instead of the unity candle since this is a 2nd marriage for us both.  Our children are older (21, 17, 16) and we want them all be a part of this ceremony for personal reasons.  Our predicament is what colors do we use?  We are purchasing the picture vessel and will use a pic of all 5 of us from the wedding.  Do we let each boy pick out their own colors and hope they go well together or do we choose the colors we want and let them decide what color they want from that?  I suspect with their ages they won't care one way or the other but we feel it's important they are given some option.

Re: Sand Ceremony for Blended Family

  • I'd ask what colors they want, and not worry about them matching. You can also show them the meanings of each color.

    I love how you are including all of your children in your ceremony btw!!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    We have decided to do a sand ceremony instead of the unity candle since this is a 2nd marriage for us both.  Our children are older (21, 17, 16) and we want them all be a part of this ceremony for personal reasons.  Our predicament is what colors do we use?  We are purchasing the picture vessel and will use a pic of all 5 of us from the wedding.  Do we let each boy pick out their own colors and hope they go well together or do we choose the colors we want and let them decide what color they want from that?  I suspect with their ages they won't care one way or the other but we feel it's important they are given some option.
    Since your wedding ceremony itself is a "unity ceremony," why not just have your children in the roles of groomsmen or bridesmen? Any "unity ceremonies" on top of that seem redundant to me, because your children will be your family just by virtue of being your children.  Also, they shouldn't have speaking roles in your ceremony or have vows made to them.  If you really need to have a "ritual" where they have speaking roles, I think it should be private and not part of your wedding ceremony.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm sorry, but I think it's weird to include your adult child and almost adult children in your wedding ceremony. Why not just have them as members of the bridal party? 

    Jen4948MGPMairePoppy[Deleted User]
  • I agree with climbingwife. Something never sits right with me with having minor children who legally cant consent to anything involved in a legal ceremony......hard pass. 
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    Jen4948[Deleted User]
  • I posted this as part of the Welcome post on the Second Weddings board:

     

    When blending families, it's important to have an inclusive environment for all kids entering in to the new family unit. Some couples have decided to incorporate special touches into their ceremony that include the kids. While the general consensus is that the ceremony and vows should be reserved for the parents, there are many other ways to include the kids, such as making them attendants, having older children do readings, or presenting the kids with gifts just prior to the ceremony. Most importantly, talk to the kids first to see how they feel about being included! However, these two threads will give you plenty of ideas to consider!



     







  • We have decided to do a sand ceremony instead of the unity candle since this is a 2nd marriage for us both.  Our children are older (21, 17, 16) and we want them all be a part of this ceremony for personal reasons.  Our predicament is what colors do we use?  We are purchasing the picture vessel and will use a pic of all 5 of us from the wedding.  Do we let each boy pick out their own colors and hope they go well together or do we choose the colors we want and let them decide what color they want from that?  I suspect with their ages they won't care one way or the other but we feel it's important they are given some option.
    Please don't involve your children in your wedding ceremony.  The wedding unites the two of you in marriage.  Adoption would unite your children, not some sand ceremony.
    You could have your children be attendants, if they were agreeable to that.
    I do hope that your future is a happy one, but marriages did not work out well for my mother.  I am so happy she didn't make me a part of her ceremony, other than to sing at her last wedding.  Please don't do this to your children.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I am not a fan of including children in the ceremony in this way. Do something later or before, separate from the wedding ceremony, to bond and blend yourself as a family.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    CMGragainMairePoppybest4last
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