I'm getting married in 10 months and I have a matron of honor, a maid of honor, and a bridesmaid. I know I asked them kinda early but most of us have crazy work schedules so I wanted to make sure they had time to think about it and would have time to budget for a dress.
My outlook on the wedding and their "duties" is that I want them to show up the day of the wedding, sober, and in a blue knee-length dress with straps (all are very busty). I don't care how they do hair/makeup and whatever sandals (non-flip flops) they want are fine. I like making jewelry so I'll probably be making them stuff to wear at the wedding (with their input on what they're comfy with). I understand that all but one of us work and we all have lives of our own - I don't want to make demands on anyone's time and this far out there's not much to do for planning since I've got venue and caterer booked.
So to the issue - my maid of honor is feeling left out and mopey. She lives two hours away while the other two live in town. My first trip dress shopping I had both my maid and matron meet up with me so we could do the whole group thingy (I hadn't asked my bridesmaid yet so that's why she wasn't there). It was such a pain to plan. Didn't find anything any of us liked but we had some fun trying on dresses. Two weekends ago my matron of honor and I had a rare Sunday off together so we decided last minute to do another trip to David's to check out the clearance rack. Long story short I found my dress and since it was on clearance I ended up ordering it that day so I wouldn't miss out on it. I called my maid of honor the next day to chat about non-wedding stuff and towards the end of the convo told her I had found my dress. She was bummed she wasn't there but I asked her if she wanted to set up a date to pick it up when it came in and she said that'd be cool. My dress was supposed to come in on the 21st - it came in two days ago instead. So now she's all "Oh I guess I'll get to miss THAT too" when I told her I'd wait until she could come up here before I picked it up. She doesn't work, lives at home with mom and dad (who pay for everything), and basically spends her days making cosplays and hanging out around the house. The other two, like me, have full time jobs in customer service so no set schedules and not much time off. I don't know what to do - yes I want to include her in stuff, but like I said there's not much to do right now and when I do have time to do some browsing I don't have two hours to wait for her to get here - and that's if she feels like making the trip. I've tried talking to her but she just gets whiney. I'm not going to kick her out because that's just rude but I don't know how to make her see that I just don't have that much to involve anyone in just yet, that its not just her.