My Best Friend Broke My Heart

ConnecticutBrideXOXO

This summer, I've been carrying a broken heart from my childhood best friend. A broken heart from a BFF feels 1000x worse than a broken heart from a boyfriend/girlfriend. My fiancé and I are getting married in the Bahamas with immediate family and closest friends (less than 20 guests). While I 1st started planning, I did vocalize to her that if she wanted to bring her man of 2 MONTHS, I'll leave it up to her. This conversation was over the phone. Well, I made a mistake by vocalizing that and I admitted that. Truth be told, after a cost analysis, my fiancée and I decided that nobody was getting a plus one. Keep in mind that formal invitations were never mailed. My fiancée and I had to make the call to her to explain the circumstance, and her reaction was quite shocking- She sobbed for 30 minutes!! She did apologize 2 days later for her reaction,but I feel the friendship has taken a turn for the worse. I confronted her and told her I felt that she was intentionally not speaking to me. She clarified that was no way the case- she was just really busy with finishing up school. So I felt better. But then she told me right to my face that she could not attend my wedding because she is anticipating having a new job the week of my wedding and will be in training. She said there was no way she could take one day off. My gut is telling me that she lied, and her boyfriend won't let her go to my wedding and she won't tell me that. To add insult to injury, I just found out she is going to a destination wedding with him in a few weeks. Her excuse to me was that she is still studying for an exam and looking for a job. I'm really hurt because I know that our 33 year friendship will be over if she makes an effort to be at a strangers wedding and dodges mine. How do I handle this?

Esther Morales

This is always so sad and when planning a wedding, these things somehow peak out their ugly heads.  Just leave it alone.  Call her and tell her you miss her and that when you come back, you can't wait to show her the fabulous photos.  Be happy.  You are marrying the man of your dreams.  For whatever reason, she is putting you off, but forgive her, but at the same time, don't be a victim.  If she sees you are happy and moving on, she will keep in touch with you if she is a true friend.  If not, realize that there may be some issues in her personal life and again, move on.

Right now, it's time now to be close to those who love and support you.  You need to be around those who are a positive influence in your life.  Say "NO" to other people's nonsense!  Don't take it to personally and let it ruin the most wonderful experience in your life.

Viczaesar

ConnecticutBrideXOXO said:

This summer, I've been carrying a broken heart from my childhood best friend. A broken heart from a BFF feels 1000x worse than a broken heart from a boyfriend/girlfriend. My fiancé and I are getting married in the Bahamas with immediate family and closest friends (less than 20 guests). While I 1st started planning, I did vocalize to her that if she wanted to bring her man of 2 MONTHS, I'll leave it up to her. This conversation was over the phone. Well, I made a mistake by vocalizing that and I admitted that. Truth be told, after a cost analysis, my fiancée and I decided that nobody was getting a plus one. Keep in mind that formal invitations were never mailed. My fiancée and I had to make the call to her to explain the circumstance, and her reaction was quite shocking- She sobbed for 30 minutes!! She did apologize 2 days later for her reaction,but I feel the friendship has taken a turn for the worse. I confronted her and told her I felt that she was intentionally not speaking to me. She clarified that was no way the case- she was just really busy with finishing up school. So I felt better. But then she told me right to my face that she could not attend my wedding because she is anticipating having a new job the week of my wedding and will be in training. She said there was no way she could take one day off. My gut is telling me that she lied, and her boyfriend won't let her go to my wedding and she won't tell me that. To add insult to injury, I just found out she is going to a destination wedding with him in a few weeks. Her excuse to me was that she is still studying for an exam and looking for a job. I'm really hurt because I know that our 33 year friendship will be over if she makes an effort to be at a strangers wedding and dodges mine. How do I handle this?

You handle it by growing up.  You're the one who screwed up here, not her.  It is extremely rude to invite guests without their SOs (and SOs are not plus ones; the term 'plus one' refers to inviting single guests to bring a guest of their choice.  Plus ones are not required, SOs are.).  You were rude to your friend, and now you're calling her a liar and bitching about her attending a destination with her SO - in other words another destination wedding, but one where the bride wasn't so rude to her as to not invite her SO.  And you're complaining that she did you wrong?  You're the one who should be apologizing to her for your incredible rudeness at not only not inviting her SO to your wedding, but actually changing your mind and UNinviting him.  You are not the victim here.