Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

To whom should I address a complaint?

ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
We just had my daughter's wedding this past weekend. Overall everything ran smoothly; however, there were a few glitches with the caterer that I would like to address. We had a wedding planner for the entire process from beginning to end. My question is should I talk to her about the problems we encountered or should I go directly to the manager of the catering company? I am not expecting any compensation, I just want to make sure they know things were not as expected.
Report Reply to Post

Re: To whom should I address a complaint?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    What were the issues?     My first thought is the catering manager, however from experience sometimes it's the wedding planner causing problems for the catering company.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    What were the issues?     My first thought is the catering manager, however from experience sometimes it's the wedding planner causing problems for the catering company.
    This. Was the coordinator communicating things incorrectly to the catering people, or doing something else that was causing the problems? 

    Or was it truly the catering people who were at fault? 
    image
    Report Reply
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    lyndausvi said:
    What were the issues?     My first thought is the catering manager, however from experience sometimes it's the wedding planner causing problems for the catering company.
    One was a small one: the bartenders had tip jars out after being told not to - the wedding planner took care of that after I pointed it out to her. The second one was more important. A guest had two food issues that I had addresses with an entree choice. She was not served the entree requested. She was assured the entree she was served was gluten free but I know it wasn't dairy free. The GF was the more important of the two food issues. My problem is that I was assured both food issues would be taken care of by the catering company. We also requested a high chair for a groomsman's son, and I don't remember seeing a high chair. Of course, that is very minor. Like I said the entree was the one that upset me the most.
    Report Reply
  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    I would first bring it up with the wedding planner to make sure there were no moments of miscommunication with her as the go-between between you and the catering company.

    Then, if after discussing politely with the wedding planner, you determine it was in fact the fault of the catering company, I would take it up with them next.

    Report Reply
  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    ILoveBeachMusic said:

    lyndausvi said:
    What were the issues?     My first thought is the catering manager, however from experience sometimes it's the wedding planner causing problems for the catering company.
    One was a small one: the bartenders had tip jars out after being told not to - the wedding planner took care of that after I pointed it out to her. The second one was more important. A guest had two food issues that I had addresses with an entree choice. She was not served the entree requested. She was assured the entree she was served was gluten free but I know it wasn't dairy free. The GF was the more important of the two food issues. My problem is that I was assured both food issues would be taken care of by the catering company. We also requested a high chair for a groomsman's son, and I don't remember seeing a high chair. Of course, that is very minor. Like I said the entree was the one that upset me the most.
    It looks like concern one, the tip jar was already addressed with the wedding coordinator and resolves at the situation. 

    Concern two appears to have been resolved with a gluten free meal, although not the one specifically discussed (if I am understanding your post correctly)

    As for concern three, you say you don't remember seeing a highchair. . . . did the groomsmen ever mention needing one and not having one.  Did anyone say anything?

    I feel like addressing these (non)issues with anyone at this point might not even be worth the time it would take you to make the complaint.  It sounds like the wedding went off with less issues than most!
    Report Reply
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    sparklepants41 said:

    I would first bring it up with the wedding planner to make sure there were no moments of miscommunication with her as the go-between between you and the catering company.

    Then, if after discussing politely with the wedding planner, you determine it was in fact the fault of the catering company, I would take it up with them next.

    I think this is a good idea. Even if the wedding planner wasn't at fault in any way, it's not a bad idea for her to at least be aware that this happened. That way, if she works with this caterer again, she'll know to look out for that issue. 

    I had a similar problem at my wedding with a guest (actually one of the BMs) who needed a GF meal for health reasons and I had several discussion with the caterer about it. They assured me she'd be getting a GF meal, but when dinner was served there was a lot of confusion/lack of communication on their end and my BM was sitting there with no food until they got it sorted out. It irritated me because I wanted to make sure every guest was well-hosted and got the food they were supposed to get. I can understand why you'd want to let them know this issue happened. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
     I would just ask the wedding planner to explain why the food was not correct for the person who had an issue. Otherwise I would let it go.  When you have a lot of people in mix something is bound to get missed.   A high chair may not being around is kind-of nicky-picking to me.  

    Often wedding planners and caterers play the he said, she said game.   It's way easier to blame the other on the miscommunication.  So do not surprised for them to play that game.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kaos16 said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:

    lyndausvi said:
    What were the issues?     My first thought is the catering manager, however from experience sometimes it's the wedding planner causing problems for the catering company.
    One was a small one: the bartenders had tip jars out after being told not to - the wedding planner took care of that after I pointed it out to her. The second one was more important. A guest had two food issues that I had addresses with an entree choice. She was not served the entree requested. She was assured the entree she was served was gluten free but I know it wasn't dairy free. The GF was the more important of the two food issues. My problem is that I was assured both food issues would be taken care of by the catering company. We also requested a high chair for a groomsman's son, and I don't remember seeing a high chair. Of course, that is very minor. Like I said the entree was the one that upset me the most.
    It looks like concern one, the tip jar was already addressed with the wedding coordinator and resolves at the situation. 

    Concern two appears to have been resolved with a gluten free meal, although not the one specifically discussed (if I am understanding your post correctly)

    As for concern three, you say you don't remember seeing a highchair. . . . did the groomsmen ever mention needing one and not having one.  Did anyone say anything?

    I feel like addressing these (non)issues with anyone at this point might not even be worth the time it would take you to make the complaint.  It sounds like the wedding went off with less issues than most!
    I agree with you about 1 and 3 but the entree was suppose to be GF and dairy free. It was only GF. The caterers made a big deal at the tasting about accommodating food allergies since we knew we had this issue.
    Report Reply
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    novella1186 said:
    sparklepants41 said:

    I would first bring it up with the wedding planner to make sure there were no moments of miscommunication with her as the go-between between you and the catering company.

    Then, if after discussing politely with the wedding planner, you determine it was in fact the fault of the catering company, I would take it up with them next.

    I think this is a good idea. Even if the wedding planner wasn't at fault in any way, it's not a bad idea for her to at least be aware that this happened. That way, if she works with this caterer again, she'll know to look out for that issue. 

    I had a similar problem at my wedding with a guest (actually one of the BMs) who needed a GF meal for health reasons and I had several discussion with the caterer about it. They assured me she'd be getting a GF meal, but when dinner was served there was a lot of confusion/lack of communication on their end and my BM was sitting there with no food until they got it sorted out. It irritated me because I wanted to make sure every guest was well-hosted and got the food they were supposed to get. I can understand why you'd want to let them know this issue happened. 
    This is exactly how I felt @novella1186. This was the MOH who is a celiac who is nursing a baby with a dairy allergy. I wanted to make sure she had food she could eat.
    Report Reply
  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    If the GF meal did not result in a problem for the guest, I would let it go.

    But then that could bc I had severe issues with my caterer...kids meals 45 mins late, buffet not getting restocked before dismissing more tables so guests didn't have the beef option, my MIA coordinator later found on the patio with a woman sitting on his lap, they didn't vacuum after lunch service and there were green beans all over our ceremony space floor...so a missing high chair and I'd have been thrilled.

    In the world of wedding receptions, unless your guest had an allergy attack, you had a fairly smooth sailing event.

    Eta - unless you want a refund on the one meal, I don't see them doing much except giving a half hearted apology. But I agree I would be very upset about the dairy issue, but still think everything went relatively well...a lot can go wrong with serving a large group of people.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    kaos16 said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:

    lyndausvi said:
    What were the issues?     My first thought is the catering manager, however from experience sometimes it's the wedding planner causing problems for the catering company.
    One was a small one: the bartenders had tip jars out after being told not to - the wedding planner took care of that after I pointed it out to her. The second one was more important. A guest had two food issues that I had addresses with an entree choice. She was not served the entree requested. She was assured the entree she was served was gluten free but I know it wasn't dairy free. The GF was the more important of the two food issues. My problem is that I was assured both food issues would be taken care of by the catering company. We also requested a high chair for a groomsman's son, and I don't remember seeing a high chair. Of course, that is very minor. Like I said the entree was the one that upset me the most.
    It looks like concern one, the tip jar was already addressed with the wedding coordinator and resolves at the situation. 

    Concern two appears to have been resolved with a gluten free meal, although not the one specifically discussed (if I am understanding your post correctly)

    As for concern three, you say you don't remember seeing a highchair. . . . did the groomsmen ever mention needing one and not having one.  Did anyone say anything?

    I feel like addressing these (non)issues with anyone at this point might not even be worth the time it would take you to make the complaint.  It sounds like the wedding went off with less issues than most!
    I agree with you about 1 and 3 but the entree was suppose to be GF and dairy free. It was only GF. The caterers made a big deal at the tasting about accommodating food allergies since we knew we had this issue.
    Then I would contact the caterer about the mistake with the meal.  

    Report Reply
  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    My DH (a chef) does a shit ton of tastings.  He is NOT going to remember a GF and DF dish for an event in the future.   He relies on his catering department to write the BEO (banquet event order) correctly.  The BEO is drawn up by a catering manager or assistant.   Then after the BEO's is drawn up it goes to the client (sometimes that would be the meeting/wedding planner) to sign off.  Then it goes to the chef. Then sometimes it goes to a banquet chef manager. Who might tell a cook to make 'x'.

    Now chefs are human and might not have seen the DF part.  Or it was never there.  The planner might not have noticed it wasn't there when they signed off.  Or they might not have remembered that cheese or butter are dairy.  (yep it happens all the time.)

    Not trying to dismiss the problem.   I guess my point is there are a lot of hands in the mix before it gets to the guest.   It a perfect world it would ALWAYS be 100% correct.   However, we are just human and mistakes happen.    While a minor inconvenience it didn't ruin the wedding.    I would address the food with the wp and move on.










    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    My DH (a chef) does a shit ton of tastings.  He is NOT going to remember a GF and DF dish for an event in the future.   He relies on his catering department to write the BEQ (banquet event order) correctly.  The BEO is drawn up by a catering manager or assistant.   Then after the BEO's is drawn up it goes to the client (sometimes that would be the meeting/wedding planner) to sign off.  Then it goes to the chef. Then sometimes it goes to a banquet chef manager. Who might tell a cook to make 'x'.

    Now chefs are human and might not have seen the DF part.  Or it was never there.  The planner might not have noticed it wasn't there when they signed off.  Or they might not have remembered that cheese or butter are dairy.  (yep it happens all the time.)

    Not trying to dismiss the problem.   I guess my point is there are a lot of hands in the mix before it gets to the guest.   It a perfect world it would ALWAYS be 100% correct.   However, we are just human and mistakes happen.    While a minor inconvenience it didn't ruin the wedding.    I would address the food with the wp and move on.


    Thanks for the insider advice. Will do!


    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No wedding or big event goes perfectly.Do you think the caterer may have misunderstood and provided one DF meal and one GF meal, thinking they were for 2 guests? If you really want to follow through on this, contact the wedding planner, first, to make sure she gave the correct info to the caterer. If her notes are clear, contact the caterer. TBH, I probably would let it go. 
                       
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    sparklepants41 said:

    I would first bring it up with the wedding planner to make sure there were no moments of miscommunication with her as the go-between between you and the catering company.

    Then, if after discussing politely with the wedding planner, you determine it was in fact the fault of the catering company, I would take it up with them next.

    I agree. You don't need to be confrontational, but I think you should make sure you and the wedding planner are and were on the same page regarding these issues. If she is not responsible for them and you can get her on your side, she can advocate for you with the venue, and her support could be crucial.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards