October 2015 Weddings

How are your RSVPs going?

Crunch time!  Today is our RSVP deadline.  The responses were pouring in at the beginning (coming home to 8 little purple envelopes at a time was like Christmas every day!) but have been very slowly trickling in the last week or two.  Out of 105 invites sent, we are still waiting on 22.  That seems like a large number to still be outstanding on the last day!  We are giving it a couple days for people who waited until today to mail it before we start contacting people.  Luckily a few of them are wedding party members, so we know they'll be there - but still need to know whether they need any dietary accommodations.  

It always puzzles me as to why many people wait until the last minute to send it back (unpredictable work schedules and forgetfulness notwithstanding).  We do know of at least one invite that did not make it to the recipient, which we found out at a Labor Day barbecue.  I'm hoping this was an isolated incident, but who knows with the USPS.  Thankfully, no one so far has tried to add their children (child-free wedding) or an uninvited plus-one as we were fearing.

How are your RSVPs coming along?  Anyone had any difficulties?


Re: How are your RSVPs going?

  • edited September 2015
    Today was our deadline too!!

    We found out quite a few of the RSVPs sent back didn't make it to us.... so that was fun to find out. It came up in conversation with a few people, so I imagine once we start reaching out we'll be hearing that a bit. 

    We actually don't have too many more to track down - mostly out of state relatives and parents' friends. We sent out 77 invites and are only waiting for 4 back. Could be worse! 

    Edited because I doubled the amount of invites sent out... 77 NOT 147. 
  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    yesterday was our deadline, and we only have 20 out of 50 back.. I know that one was sent back but it made it after we resent it.. and someone moved and didn't give us their new address so they have not received theirs..

    I am hoping Email/private message people next week like Monday, and remind them, then the following week if we still have a bunch we have not received, I will be calling..

    you guys seem to have awesome guests to only have 95% and  81% respond, On time!

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  • Our deadline is tomorrow! We're still waiting on about 30 RSVPs, most of which are couples, so let's call it 60. Out of 150 invites. YIKES! :( 

    Time to start picking up the phone...
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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  • Our RSVP deadline is a week from today.  We sent out 66 invitations and are still waiting on 41 RSVPs!  People better start sending these things back or I may have a meltdown!  I had FH reach out to some of the people since most that have not responded are on his side and some responded that they will be coming so that is at least a little reassuring, but at this point we won’t even meet our venues minimum of 100 people so we will end up paying for a much of people that aren’t there. 

    What is it with people just not RSVPing?!?!  It is so rude :(

  • Glad to see I'm not the only one on this train :)  

    Once we got home yesterday and checked the mail, we had 9 more in the mailbox!  We've only been getting like 1 per day lately, sometimes none, so I guess a bunch of people probably mailed them over Labor Day weekend.  13 more to go!  I am going to give them a day or 2 to trickle in before I start bugging people.  It was hard to hold off on doing that before the deadline, but I guess the deadline is there for a reason - we don't HAVE to know before it, so why pester people who still haven't technically done anything wrong?  It's still super annoying though.

    Up next: seating chart madness.


    [Deleted User]
  • @krystalh988 It's super rude and super annoying to me... like seriously, I can't speak for everyone, but I make it SO EASY. Literally all you have to do is write your name/+1 name, check yes or no, fill in any dietary restrictions, seal the envelope, and send! Pre-stamped, pre-addressed... I don't get it. There are people like sending Facebook messages and whatnot... NO! I didn't pay for your postage to get a Facebook message from you.

    @frenchiekin Ughhhh seating chart. I dread this. :(
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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  • @krystalh988 It's super rude and super annoying to me... like seriously, I can't speak for everyone, but I make it SO EASY. Literally all you have to do is write your name/+1 name, check yes or no, fill in any dietary restrictions, seal the envelope, and send! Pre-stamped, pre-addressed... I don't get it. There are people like sending Facebook messages and whatnot... NO! I didn't pay for your postage to get a Facebook message from you.

    @frenchiekin Ughhhh seating chart. I dread this. :(
    OMG exactly the bolded.


    ryanandjoe4
  • Yeah, I am with everyone on this. I had someone take a picture of their RSVP and send it to me via FB message.... um really?

    We're currently at a 53% acceptance rate. We knew going in that a lot of out of town family wouldn't be able to make it (after save the dates were sent out) and weren't going to send RSVPs back. I'm not quite sure what to make of that, so we've started contacting those people to confirm/make sure the RSVPs weren't the ones lost in the mail. 

    I get it though. I personally would still send it back, but I know with school starting, people returning from vacations, etc - it just wasn't at the forefront of their minds. Which is totally understandable, even though it creates a bit more follow up on our end. 
  • Our deadline was yesterday as well and we are missing about 20 out of roughly 105. On top of those 20 we've gotten messages via text and fb that people lost the invitation or Rsvp card etc etc. So annoying, it makes me all kinds of stabby esp since I put tons of effort into them. (I know that was my personal choice but I'm a lover of paper and pretty things). We will wait untilail comes on Monday to start the harrassing, but my final count is due soon and I want everything in order! My ocd is raging right now!
  • @frenchiekin It seriously is the easiest thing to send back an RSVP!  We are having a buffet with vegetarian option so they don't even need to make a food selection.  Just mark if you are coming, how many and then drop it in the mail.  ARG!  At this point I might be happy with Facebook or text responses.  lol

     

  • We're at 47% back with a due date of Sept. 26 and only 14 people not coming so far.  I'm hoping they will start pouring in but there's only a couple weeks left to get them in!
  • Our deadline has now passed and so many people haven't sent RSVP's. FI is really bummed because most of his extended family have either declined or failed to RSVP altogether. He has a big family, so it's even more upsetting... that's a big portion of our guest list! His best friend/his wife and his sister/her husband also won't be there because they're expecting babies around our wedding date... we've known this for a while, but the fact that so many family won't be coming just adds to that sting. It's hard to watch him get so sad about it :( 
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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  • Our deadline has now passed and so many people haven't sent RSVP's. FI is really bummed because most of his extended family have either declined or failed to RSVP altogether. He has a big family, so it's even more upsetting... that's a big portion of our guest list! His best friend/his wife and his sister/her husband also won't be there because they're expecting babies around our wedding date... we've known this for a while, but the fact that so many family won't be coming just adds to that sting. It's hard to watch him get so sad about it :( 
    Do the expecting have to travel far to come to your wedding?

    I am where your FH is at, my FH's family has mostly responded, and little to none of my family has responded. we remind our selves (brides) all the time that people wont change for your wedding when it comes to bridesmaids and family.. maybe he needs that reminder? is his family the type to not respond and show up? or are they the type to not come to family events? dont let him get bummed about it, it will still be an awesome day for the two of you no matter how many people will be there.. just remind him less people = more cake for you guys!
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  • Our deadline is a week from today and we're still waiting on 25 out of ~65 responses. I too am completely amazed at why people aren't just responding. With the postage on there it's so easy to just write your initials next to your meal choice and send it back, or check decline and send it back. Then for people who really are against using the post office I made it so they could respond on our wedding website. So far the only couple to use that also sent in a physical card so I guess that was a waste of time, luckily it was pretty minimal time. The ones that annoy me the most are the wedding party, like yea we know you will be there but we do need to know your meals and for some of them if they are bringing a +1. I mean they still have a week to reply so hopefully we get them but I don't know why people don't just respond right away.
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  • My RSVPs have been insane.  I have had people cross out how many people they were allowed and put in a new number so they can bring a friend.  I had one girl facebook me and tell me she was bringing herself as well as 3 others....There was honestly a point where I thought " WHAT IS THE POINT OF SENDING OUT AN INVITATION THAT STATES EXACTLY WHO IS INVITED. THAT HAS A RETURN ENVELOPE WITH A STAMP ON IT AS WELL AS THE ADDRESSES ????!!!" I should have just done an evite!  But then I took a deep breath and just rolled with whatever was thrown at me.  I was fortunate to get all but 10 responses but I just facebooked or texted them to see if they were coming.  All of my wedding stress came from the guest list/RSVPs.  So I am glad that it is mostly over with.
  • edited September 2015

    Our deadline has now passed and so many people haven't sent RSVP's. FI is really bummed because most of his extended family have either declined or failed to RSVP altogether. He has a big family, so it's even more upsetting... that's a big portion of our guest list! His best friend/his wife and his sister/her husband also won't be there because they're expecting babies around our wedding date... we've known this for a while, but the fact that so many family won't be coming just adds to that sting. It's hard to watch him get so sad about it :( 
    Do the expecting have to travel far to come to your wedding?

    I am where your FH is at, my FH's family has mostly responded, and little to none of my family has responded. we remind our selves (brides) all the time that people wont change for your wedding when it comes to bridesmaids and family.. maybe he needs that reminder? is his family the type to not respond and show up? or are they the type to not come to family events? dont let him get bummed about it, it will still be an awesome day for the two of you no matter how many people will be there.. just remind him less people = more cake for you guys! 

    ------edited because boxes are hard?-----------------
    His family is the type to respond "yes" and NOT show, so I guess we should count our blessings that that's not what's happening! But still, a solid "no" means we won't be wasting money on their food... just stick the damn pre-stamped, pre-addressed card in the mail! I'm trying to keep him positive by reminding him of all the awesome people who will be there, but I guess it's just hard to know that your own family doesn't want to go to your wedding.
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2015

    Our deadline has now passed and so many people haven't sent RSVP's. FI is really bummed because most of his extended family have either declined or failed to RSVP altogether. He has a big family, so it's even more upsetting... that's a big portion of our guest list! His best friend/his wife and his sister/her husband also won't be there because they're expecting babies around our wedding date... we've known this for a while, but the fact that so many family won't be coming just adds to that sting. It's hard to watch him get so sad about it :( 
    Do the expecting have to travel far to come to your wedding?

    I am where your FH is at, my FH's family has mostly responded, and little to none of my family has responded. we remind our selves (brides) all the time that people wont change for your wedding when it comes to bridesmaids and family.. maybe he needs that reminder? is his family the type to not respond and show up? or are they the type to not come to family events? dont let him get bummed about it, it will still be an awesome day for the two of you no matter how many people will be there.. just remind him less people = more cake for you guys! 

    ------edited because boxes are hard?-----------------
    His family is the type to respond "yes" and NOT show, so I guess we should count our blessings that that's not what's happening! But still, a solid "no" means we won't be wasting money on their food... just stick the damn pre-stamped, pre-addressed card in the mail! I'm trying to keep him positive by reminding him of all the awesome people who will be there, but I guess it's just hard to know that your own family doesn't want to go to your wedding.


    I have figured out if you use the "quote" button the boxes show up..

    SO I Facebook messaged all the non-respondents and 9 out of 19 got back to me with in an hour... scary thing is we have a 96% yes rate.. lucky we could afford 150 and only invited 120!

    and from the girl that was going to be my Maid of honor but backed out, gave a firm non-answer.. about how she feels uncomfortable at weddings and since i didn't include a +1 and wont have time to spend with her she just doesn't know.... frustrating...
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  • We also sent 105 invitations @frenchiekin because we are apparently for real still having the same wedding. Our deadline was yesterday and we are missing 6 responses. I'm not really worried about them at this point because it won't reduce our table count. We are at a less than 60% acceptance rate and I could not be more thrilled! I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk to everyone. 

    ryanandjoe4
  • We also sent 105 invitations @frenchiekin because we are apparently for real still having the same wedding. Our deadline was yesterday and we are missing 6 responses. I'm not really worried about them at this point because it won't reduce our table count. We are at a less than 60% acceptance rate and I could not be more thrilled! I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk to everyone. 
    LOL - now this is just getting ridiculous!

    So it looks like your super crowded rain plan should also be less of a stressor now that only about 60% are attending?  Hope everything is still going ok with your venue craziness!


  • We also sent 105 invitations @frenchiekin because we are apparently for real still having the same wedding. Our deadline was yesterday and we are missing 6 responses. I'm not really worried about them at this point because it won't reduce our table count. We are at a less than 60% acceptance rate and I could not be more thrilled! I was worried I wouldn't be able to talk to everyone. 
    LOL - now this is just getting ridiculous!

    So it looks like your super crowded rain plan should also be less of a stressor now that only about 60% are attending?  Hope everything is still going ok with your venue craziness!
    THANK GOD. YES. We can seat 120 inside and we are looking at exactly that number, including the 2 of us! It's going to be perfect. I've been checking the weather and it looks like all sun so far for the week so I'm hoping it keeps up. 

    ryanandjoe4frenchiekin
  • After a lot of poking and prodding we finally have all of our RSVPs. We are a bit disappointed, not going to lie. We invited 210 and have 144 attending. We had a lot of out of state family who decided last minute they weren't going to attend. There have also been a lot of health issues on my FI side, so he is pretty bummed. It is crazy because literally three weeks ago it was looking like 185 from all the verbal yes we had, combined with local family we definitely thought would attend that now won't be. On the up side we budgeted for what we assumed we were going to have for final numbers, so I guess we have some extra money in our account. I will not be complaining about that!
    frenchiekin
  • jessc2010 said:
    After a lot of poking and prodding we finally have all of our RSVPs. We are a bit disappointed, not going to lie. We invited 210 and have 144 attending. We had a lot of out of state family who decided last minute they weren't going to attend. There have also been a lot of health issues on my FI side, so he is pretty bummed. It is crazy because literally three weeks ago it was looking like 185 from all the verbal yes we had, combined with local family we definitely thought would attend that now won't be. On the up side we budgeted for what we assumed we were going to have for final numbers, so I guess we have some extra money in our account. I will not be complaining about that!
    Aww, sorry to hear about all of the issues you guys have going on in the family!  We all know that's just life, but it can be a little hard to swallow sometimes.  We are in a similar boat.  We invited 185 and we are looking like 155-ish (still about 3 people we are waiting for a definite answer from).  I am ok with it... there were no shocking declines, just people we figured would come but understand why they can't make it.  FI is pretty bummed... he's all like "Aw, does this mean we're having a SMALL wedding now?!?"  No, love - 155 is still pretty damn big!  

    We planned for 200 as we made the guest list almost 2 years ago when we first got engaged and put in a guest for all of our singles in case they got SOs by invite time.  Most of them didn't, so we ended up inviting 185, which is what our catering, bar, etc. estimates were based on.  So, silver lining is that we will be saving a significant amount of money we've already set aside which will give us a jump on a house down payment.  Not sure why FI is so hung up on wishing the wedding were bigger... I guess they have their own wedding dreams too :) haha



  • jessc2010 said:
    After a lot of poking and prodding we finally have all of our RSVPs. We are a bit disappointed, not going to lie. We invited 210 and have 144 attending. We had a lot of out of state family who decided last minute they weren't going to attend. There have also been a lot of health issues on my FI side, so he is pretty bummed. It is crazy because literally three weeks ago it was looking like 185 from all the verbal yes we had, combined with local family we definitely thought would attend that now won't be. On the up side we budgeted for what we assumed we were going to have for final numbers, so I guess we have some extra money in our account. I will not be complaining about that!
    over the last year we have went from 150 to 100 people, between health problems, deaths, and people moving out of town. we are not disappointed, but it also doesn't save much either only like $165.. 6 months ago it was looking like 100% attendance and it kind of freaked me out. I didn't want a large wedding, but FI does because "we only get this once", that was his response to me wanting a beach destination wedding too.. 
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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Our deadline isn't until Oct 17th but we already have 14 rsvps back (out of 110, lol).

    I swear though that from here on out, for every wedding I am invited to, I will mail the RSVP back as soon as possible. I'm so thankful to the 14 who have already mailed theirs back, although one was a decline and that was sad. :(
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    futurecptkirk
  • We have our final numbers back - 76 (not including us and our vendors) out of 145 invited. We knew going in that this would most likely be the case, due to the number of out of town relatives on my end. However, for some decor items like plate chargers and chair covers, we'll be paying for more than our final number due to the number they held based on when we booked. But that's ok. We still planned for 100% attendance in every aspect.

    I also swear from now on to send back that RSVP right away, because.... it is intense waiting. We've gotten quite a few back after the deadline (one we knew was going to be late). 


  • Our RSVP date isn't until 9/27 so we still have some time, but we still haven't gotten about 60 out of 108, so there's that. 

    But here are somethings I HAVE received:
    An envelope that was clearly accidentally reopened so it got taped shut again.
    An RSVP with no name written in, luckily it was a not going response so I don't have to worry too much.
    And the best thing so far I have received is a facebook message from a cousin I haven't seen in about ten years saying that his mom (my aunt) has been nagging him to come and he is sorry he just can't make it. Well long story short my mom asked me to invite all her brothers and sisters (there's 14 of them) out of respect and so I went along with it but this aunt is one of the ones that I didn't really want to go because I don't really know her and her son was not included on the invitation.....

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  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Our RSVP deadline isn't until 10/9, and our final numbers are due on 10/16 (I wanted time to track down stragglers), but I'm starting to stress over how many we haven't gotten back. Out of 80 sent, I think we've gotten like 25 back. We've stopped getting RSVPs in the mail daily, so I'm nervous I'll really need to harass people that week in between the RSVP deadline and our venue deadline. *sigh*

    I will forevermore be a perfect guest at events. I will RSVP immediately to all future things. 

    We've also gotten a few RSVPs with no names, but we numbered the RSVPs for that very reason. It was one of the best decisions we made!


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  • eilis1228 said:
    Our RSVP deadline isn't until 10/9, and our final numbers are due on 10/16 (I wanted time to track down stragglers), but I'm starting to stress over how many we haven't gotten back. Out of 80 sent, I think we've gotten like 25 back. We've stopped getting RSVPs in the mail daily, so I'm nervous I'll really need to harass people that week in between the RSVP deadline and our venue deadline. *sigh*

    I will forevermore be a perfect guest at events. I will RSVP immediately to all future things. 

    We've also gotten a few RSVPs with no names, but we numbered the RSVPs for that very reason. It was one of the best decisions we made!
    I have gotten two back, with out names.. I wanted to put a way of identifying them but FI talked me out of it. he opened the latest card, and immediately said "sorry we should have marked them."

    I have already called, and know who is coming and who isn't so it wasn't really a big deal, I just laughed.. 
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  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    @ryanandjoe4 Got yet another one without a name last night. *sigh* 


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