I honestly never thought that my FMIL would be a source of stress during the wedding planing process, I think that is what upsets me so much. I knew that there would be some rough moments for my FMIL because I am marrying an only child. My FIL's live in another state so beside the few visits to my fiancés hometown and my FIL's few visits to the town we live in, we haven't been able to bond as well as some FDIL and FMIL. With that being said, she has told me and my fiancé she loves me very much and that I am a great fit for her son, mainly because she says she see's a lot of herself in me. Once my fiancé I became engaged, my FMIL seemed so happy for us and honestly when she is around me in person (the two times I have seen her since becoming engaged) she seems so happy and wants to know everything that I am planning and how the process is going. Since my fiancé is an only child and because my mom felt very left out during the planning of my brothers wedding, my mom and I have tried to include my FMIL in every step, sending her emails keeping her up to date about the planning on our end, since we know she can't physically be here for most of the planning appointments. This approach has apparently has either backfired or my FMIL is just really not wanting to let her son go. I recently found out that the reason that she hasn't responded to any of our planning emails (unless if she is asked if she received the email and even then the response is literally a sentence) is because she finds the tone of the emails rude. However, I am confused because this is the first I am hearing of this, also when my mother and I saw her in person a few weeks ago she acted just fine and excited about the wedding. When we saw her in person, I told her that I would love to have her come help my mom put me in my wedding dress (if she wanted to) the day of wedding and that I wanted her to feel that she could visit the bridal suite at anytime. She was very nice and said she would love too, she seemed really excited that I asked her to be involved. Well, my mom sent her an email a few days later touching base with her asking how many rooms they decided that their family would need so we could book a block the rooms, this is something all three of us had discussed in person a few days prior. Again, she wouldn't respond to the email. I asked my fiancé to find out how many rooms they wanted us to block and thats when it all hit the fan. I then learned that she thought all my mom's emails were extremely rude, that she did not want to stay at the same hotel as me because she wanted her son to also feel special, and that she had been planning things like transportation for some of her guests. I was shocked but more so, my feelings were really hurt. If she thought the emails for the past two months were rude, why am I just now finding this out? I mainly feel bad for my mom because my sent the emails in an effort to make sure that my FMIL felt involved, since my mom had a bad experience when my brother got married. As nicely as my fiancé could have, he relayed the message from his mom that has left me upset and honestly now it's turning into anger. I was told that my parents needed to stop doing things like picking up the bill at a restaurant when my FIL comes into town and that my parents didn't need to worry about my FIL ability to pay for the rehearsal dinner. This came to a shock to me because my parents have never said to them or to me that were concerned about the rehearsal dinner. All my mom did was ask if my FMIL would be inviting extended family to the rehearsal dinner so she would know if it was proper for our family to do the same. Apparently this was taken as my family didn't think they could afford a large rehearsal dinner? Yes, I am fortunate in that my parents can pay for a very nice wedding but my parents have never once spoken to me about any reservation about my FIL financial ability to pay for the rehearsal dinner/honeymoon. I also found that my FMIL had been doing "a lot" of planning but she has never sent an email or even mentioned anything when I have seen her in person about any planning. I have a great wedding planner and my FMIL knows this, but apparently has taken things in her own hands to book transportation for "her family". I am hurt because just a few weeks ago, I was so excited about our two families becoming one, and now its like it's just two families that are having a combined event. My mom told me that we just need to give her some space but honestly I am starting to get really angry. I wasn't aware that she had been avoiding my moms emails and I really just think its very rude how she is acting. From my perspective, it seems like she is treating this wedding as 1) a competition and 2) the day she is losing her son. The lack of communication with her is starting to impact mine and my fiancés relationship because he can't understand why I am upset. The messages that have been relayed from my FMIL via my fiancé (a problem in and of itself in my opinion) this past week has been very difficult on me because I feel like our efforts to go out our way to include her have been taken the wrong way (or she just wants nothing to do with my end of the wedding). I am sorry for the long post but if anyone has any suggestions on how I should handle the situation, it would be greatly appreciated!