Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Why does the procession have to be so complicated?

OK, fellow brides, help me sort all of this out. I'm trying to figure out how the processional is supposed to go, and while I know there are a few different options out there (and.. heck... anything is really possible because it's OUR wedding) but I'm not envisioning this well.

My mom passed away in 2012. My dad re-married last year. My FI's dad passed away as well, but his mom never re-married.

Wedding party is as such:
Best Man
2 Groomsmen
1 Bridesmaid (groom's sis)
1 Maid of Honor (my sis)
1 Matron of Honor (my best friend, who is assisting my sis since she's a single mama with a new baby and just gone back to college!)
2 Ring Bearers (to be pulled in a wagon because they'll be a 2-yr-old and a 10-month-old)
2 Flower Girls (ages 4 and 8)

The wedding will be in the student center at our church (smaller auditorium than the main sanctuary since we're inviting 200, not 2,000). Up until today, I hadn't thought of a need for ushers... but I suppose the 2 groomsmen could help with that? But do they ask "family or friend?" to get seating priority? Or...?

And I like my stepmom, but she's not MY mom... so it's a bit awkward. I think it'd be sweet for the groom to walk his mom down the aisle, but not sure about stepmom... have dad walk her down and then come back to get me?

Help me think this through please, ladies! I don't want to make my stepmom feel awkward... but I think that may be inevitable.
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Re: Why does the procession have to be so complicated?

  • I'd have someone your stepmom down the aisle, so you have a brother or does she have a son who is invited to the wedding? it doesn't have to be a wedding party member.  My mother was walked down the aisle by one of my brothers (not in wedding party, not ushers, etc) and that was fine. It would be nice to have someone escort her down the aisle but it doesn't matter who.

    if you want it to be your dad that is fine he could easily walk her down then come back and walk you since presumably there will be others walking down the aisle in between.


    and you don't need ushers, people can seat themselves. I seem to see this tradition going away which is good because I always thought it was silly, especially if someone arrives as a couple I never understood the woman taking the usher's arm while the SO follows behind.  Just let me walk to my seat myself, I can figure it out I promise.

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You don't need ushers. We didn't have them, and people can set themselves. 

    You can have another family member escort your stepmom down the aisle. Don't have your dad pull double duty. He's walking with you. Or your stepmom can walk alone, or not be included in the procession at all. It's really up to you. 

    My brother walked my mom down the aisle, and my husband walked down with his mom. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You don't need ushers.  People know how to find their own seat.

    I would have your step-mom seated before the procession begins.  I agree that I think it would be very sweet if your FI escorted his Mom to her seat and then took his place at the front.

    So I would have your officiant and the GMs walk in from the side and stand at the front first.  Then have your FI walk down the aisle with his Mom.  Follow that with your BM, MOHs, ring bearers and flower girls.  Then last will be you and your Dad.

  • kvruns said:

    I'd have someone your stepmom down the aisle, so you have a brother or does she have a son who is invited to the wedding? it doesn't have to be a wedding party member.  

    Nope... neither one of us has a brother... just a sister.

    I may just have to sit with stepmom and ask her what she feels most comfortable with. Dad is a former pastor, and has been saying a lot of "I've never seen that at a wedding" (he gave me flack for choosing to have my bff be a matron of honor to assist my sister, the maid of honor... said I had to have one or the other and it just wasn't done that way... until I explained why, and both of the girls were OK with it... and he thought a photo booth was a VERY strange idea... lol....) I'm guessing Dad may not like the idea of escorting her AND me... but since future MIL is going to be escorted... I dunno.... it just feels... off.

    At least I've got plenty of time to figure it out... 20 weeks and counting! Thanks for the feedback ladies! I'll take more if anyone has thoughts!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2015

    Please don't use a wagon to carry children down an aisle, especially if they're younger than 3, for safety reasons.  Just have them sit with their parents and take photos with them.  They'll still be "cute" and "included."

    I like the idea of having a designated person usher your stepmom down the aisle so your dad doesn't have to make two trips.  But if you and your dad are both okay with his first escorting your stepmom and then you, that works too.

    MyNameIsNot
  • Jen4948 said:

    Please don't use a wagon to carry children down an aisle, especially if they're younger than 3, for safety reasons.  Just have them sit with their parents and take photos with them.  They'll still be "cute" and "included."


    I do appreciate the concern, but the wagon we're planning to use has safety straps... it's newer and made for children. We definitely would not consider putting the littlest ones in danger! Good thought, though. Not everyone thinks about the potential of a little one trying to climb out while "on the move." :)

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:

    Please don't use a wagon to carry children down an aisle, especially if they're younger than 3, for safety reasons.  Just have them sit with their parents and take photos with them.  They'll still be "cute" and "included."


    I do appreciate the concern, but the wagon we're planning to use has safety straps... it's newer and made for children. We definitely would not consider putting the littlest ones in danger! Good thought, though. Not everyone thinks about the potential of a little one trying to climb out while "on the move." :)

    Safety straps don't suffice-especially for a 2 year old and a 10 month old.  Just scrap the wagon.
  • Apparently our views of the responsibilities associated with being a maid of honor are different. Or perhaps you can afford to hire a wedding planner/coordinator to do everything on your behalf. I'm not in that situation, and she has been helping me quite a bit so I don't have to try to do everything by myself. Not to mention, she is really excited about working with the matron of honor to throw a bridal shower and bachelorette party for me.

    Judgmental much?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2015

    Apparently our views of the responsibilities associated with being a maid of honor are different. Or perhaps you can afford to hire a wedding planner/coordinator to do everything on your behalf. I'm not in that situation, and she has been helping me quite a bit so I don't have to try to do everything by myself. Not to mention, she is really excited about working with the matron of honor to throw a bridal shower and bachelorette party for me.


    Judgmental much?
    Not at all. It's nice that your MOHs are excited to plan those things for you, but ultimately it's not their responsibility to help you plan your wedding or plan or attend parties for you. If they want to, great-but otherwise, you as the bride need to graciously accept what they offer along those lines, which might be nothing. As long as they show up on time, sober, and in good spirits to your wedding, process and recess down the aisle and back, and pose for some photos, they've fulfilled the only responsibilities they have as your wedding party members.
    vanadisisland[Deleted User]
  • Huh. I understood that to be a bridesmaid's role... but even here on The Knot, there's plenty of information about the Maid of Honor's duties. And they both approached ME to express what they felt their responsibilities were and said that I just needed to let them know how they can help. Majority of the planning is mine, but I'm glad to have them by my side for advice, opinions, support, and a couple of extra hands! Here's what I've read, right here (and similar things on other sites...)

    Let's start with the basics -- what is a maid of honor, anyway? Right hand woman, total confidante and sometime lifesaver, your maid of honor is there to support you through all the ups and downs of wedding planning. The maid of honor's duties include organizing and hosting your bridal shower, helping you do things like address invitation envelopes and shop for your bridesmaids' dresses, and collect and keep records of your wedding gifts. Oh yeah, and she'll also act as a crucial liaison between you and your bridesmaids to keep everyone on track in terms of buying their dresses and planning your bachelorette. If you think you're going to have time to do everything, and enjoy your wedding day to the fullest... well, good luck.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2015

    Huh. I understood that to be a bridesmaid's role... but even here on The Knot, there's plenty of information about the Maid of Honor's duties. And they both approached ME to express what they felt their responsibilities were and said that I just needed to let them know how they can help. Majority of the planning is mine, but I'm glad to have them by my side for advice, opinions, support, and a couple of extra hands! Here's what I've read, right here (and similar things on other sites...)


    Let's start with the basics -- what is a maid of honor, anyway? Right hand woman, total confidante and sometime lifesaver, your maid of honor is there to support you through all the ups and downs of wedding planning. The maid of honor's duties include organizing and hosting your bridal shower, helping you do things like address invitation envelopes and shop for your bridesmaids' dresses, and collect and keep records of your wedding gifts. Oh yeah, and she'll also act as a crucial liaison between you and your bridesmaids to keep everyone on track in terms of buying their dresses and planning your bachelorette. If you think you're going to have time to do everything, and enjoy your wedding day to the fullest... well, good luck.
    Sorrynotsorry, but these are not bridesmaids' duties. You've read too much untrue stuff. Plan your own wedding. It's not your bridesmaids', groomsmen's, BM's, or MOH's job. You're supposed to be honoring them by asking them to be in your wedding party. It's not an "honor" to be "expected" to help you with this stuff. If you want them to work for you, then sign contracts with them and pay them. This list is complete crap. The Knot's main site is not a good source of etiquette.
    vanadisislandonefootinthebayou[Deleted User]
  • Apparently our views of the responsibilities associated with being a maid of honor are different. Or perhaps you can afford to hire a wedding planner/coordinator to do everything on your behalf. I'm not in that situation, and she has been helping me quite a bit so I don't have to try to do everything by myself. Not to mention, she is really excited about working with the matron of honor to throw a bridal shower and bachelorette party for me.

    Judgmental much?
    It's great that they want to do that stuff for you, but they don't have to. If you want them to work for you, you have to pay them.
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    onefootinthebayou[Deleted User]
  • My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    MesmrEwe said:

    My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

    If the kids are too small to make it down the aisle under their own power, are too young to remember the occasion, and/or are too young to understand what they're being asked to do, then don't try to get them down the aisle at all-with it without a wagon. Just have someone hold them and take photos with them. They're too young for anything else. The wedding ceremony isn't a playground.
    [Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:

    My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

    If the kids are too small to make it down the aisle under their own power, are too young to remember the occasion, and/or are too young to understand what they're being asked to do, then don't try to get them down the aisle at all-with it without a wagon. Just have someone hold them and take photos with them. They're too young for anything else. The wedding ceremony isn't a playground.
    I think using the bolded as a deciding factor with kids in weddings is probably not the best.  I mean when I was 10 I went to Disney World.  That is a huge thing for a kid right?  Well I remember like 2 things from our week long vacation.  I remember my Dad getting pooped on by a bird and that we stayed in the same hotel as the family from Family Matters did.  So really kids will most likely not remember much, if anything, from being in a wedding when they are young.

    OliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers


    Jen4948 said:

    My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

    If the kids are too small to make it down the aisle under their own power, are too young to remember the occasion, and/or are too young to understand what they're being asked to do, then don't try to get them down the aisle at all-with it without a wagon. Just have someone hold them and take photos with them. They're too young for anything else. The wedding ceremony isn't a playground.

    I think using the bolded as a deciding factor with kids in weddings is probably not the best.  I mean when I was 10 I went to Disney World.  That is a huge thing for a kid right?  Well I remember like 2 things from our week long vacation.  I remember my Dad getting pooped on by a bird and that we stayed in the same hotel as the family from Family Matters did.  So really kids will most likely not remember much, if anything, from being in a wedding when they are young.

    I'm not suggesting that the bolded be used to keep kids away altogether, only that if it applies, that the kids not go up and down the aisle. They can still be involved just by being in photos. But this way they won't be cutesy props.
  • Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:

    My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

    If the kids are too small to make it down the aisle under their own power, are too young to remember the occasion, and/or are too young to understand what they're being asked to do, then don't try to get them down the aisle at all-with it without a wagon. Just have someone hold them and take photos with them. They're too young for anything else. The wedding ceremony isn't a playground.
    I think using the bolded as a deciding factor with kids in weddings is probably not the best.  I mean when I was 10 I went to Disney World.  That is a huge thing for a kid right?  Well I remember like 2 things from our week long vacation.  I remember my Dad getting pooped on by a bird and that we stayed in the same hotel as the family from Family Matters did.  So really kids will most likely not remember much, if anything, from being in a wedding when they are young.
    I'm not suggesting that the bolded be used to keep kids away altogether, only that if it applies, that the kids not go up and down the aisle. They can still be involved just by being in photos. But this way they won't be cutesy props.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with kids being cutesy props if the parents are ok with it. In fact I think the parents are usually the reason kids are asked. It's an honor to them to have their kids be in the wedding. My FSIL had her nephew who was just under 1 I think be ring bearer and he couldn't walk down the aisle, his mom carried him and it was still adorable. He was such a little ham and while he won't remember it he loved it!
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    kimmiinthemittenMesmrEwe
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:

    My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

    If the kids are too small to make it down the aisle under their own power, are too young to remember the occasion, and/or are too young to understand what they're being asked to do, then don't try to get them down the aisle at all-with it without a wagon. Just have someone hold them and take photos with them. They're too young for anything else. The wedding ceremony isn't a playground.
    I think using the bolded as a deciding factor with kids in weddings is probably not the best.  I mean when I was 10 I went to Disney World.  That is a huge thing for a kid right?  Well I remember like 2 things from our week long vacation.  I remember my Dad getting pooped on by a bird and that we stayed in the same hotel as the family from Family Matters did.  So really kids will most likely not remember much, if anything, from being in a wedding when they are young.
    I'm not suggesting that the bolded be used to keep kids away altogether, only that if it applies, that the kids not go up and down the aisle. They can still be involved just by being in photos. But this way they won't be cutesy props.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with kids being cutesy props if the parents are ok with it. In fact I think the parents are usually the reason kids are asked. It's an honor to them to have their kids be in the wedding. My FSIL had her nephew who was just under 1 I think be ring bearer and he couldn't walk down the aisle, his mom carried him and it was still adorable. He was such a little ham and while he won't remember it he loved it!

    How do you know "he loved it" ?  Can you read babies' minds? Maybe he didn't-or he won't in the future.  Whether or not it's "adorable" or "cute" doesn't make it right to use kids as props just because they don't understand what's going on or won't remember it later-in fact, that's a good fucking reason NOT to do it! 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2015
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:

    My vote - go for it with the Wagon if the parents are on-board.  There are wagons I'd feel perfectly safe having a 10mo ride in that are safer than some strollers.  DS LOVED riding in the little wagon behind DD's toy tractor around that age and that hardly was for little kids to ride in (we were in our own back yard doing photos and it was a prop - he wanted to climb in...)

    Getting to your original question...

    Have your FI walk in his Mom as the official start of the procession as the way for him to get to the front.  Have Step-Mom walked in by your Father (usher-like) and have him loop back.

    Since you have a lot of kids involved...Yes, during the ceremony proper, let the parents decide what route is the best for where the LO's go that were in the wagon once they get to the front (silent new "church toys/books" in the wagon may stack the deck).  You never know, pulling the LO's out of the wagon could cause WW3, let the parents manage this, you focus on what you need to.  Remember, at that age, the whole idea is for them to look cute (which sometimes comes in the form of pucker face and tears in a pretty dress!), don't expect them to behave for an hour-long service quietly...  Make sure the parents of the LO's are seated in a "reserved" spot so they can make a "quick exit" if necessary (screaming/diaper change/need to eat/etc.).  The 4&8yo  can also swing both ways.  Keep your expectations in-check.  Also - please be kind on the LO's attire - if it's not comfortable, good luck!  Don't be afraid to give the parents some parameters and let them choose something (Easter & Christmas offer tons of cute options off the rack if you shop early and for far less than a bridal shop will run)..

    If the kids are too small to make it down the aisle under their own power, are too young to remember the occasion, and/or are too young to understand what they're being asked to do, then don't try to get them down the aisle at all-with it without a wagon. Just have someone hold them and take photos with them. They're too young for anything else. The wedding ceremony isn't a playground.
    I think using the bolded as a deciding factor with kids in weddings is probably not the best.  I mean when I was 10 I went to Disney World.  That is a huge thing for a kid right?  Well I remember like 2 things from our week long vacation.  I remember my Dad getting pooped on by a bird and that we stayed in the same hotel as the family from Family Matters did.  So really kids will most likely not remember much, if anything, from being in a wedding when they are young.
    I'm not suggesting that the bolded be used to keep kids away altogether, only that if it applies, that the kids not go up and down the aisle. They can still be involved just by being in photos. But this way they won't be cutesy props.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with kids being cutesy props if the parents are ok with it. In fact I think the parents are usually the reason kids are asked. It's an honor to them to have their kids be in the wedding. My FSIL had her nephew who was just under 1 I think be ring bearer and he couldn't walk down the aisle, his mom carried him and it was still adorable. He was such a little ham and while he won't remember it he loved it!

    How do you know "he loved it" ?  Can you read babies' minds? Maybe he didn't-or he won't in the future.  Whether or not it's "adorable" or "cute" doesn't make it right to use kids as props just because they don't understand what's going on or won't remember it later-in fact, that's a good fucking reason NOT to do it! 
    Many people, babies included, show happiness by laughing, smiling and other body language. You might want to google that, happiness seems to be difficult for you. 
    You might want to Google politeness, since that seems to be difficult for you. #byefelicia
  • Apparently our views of the responsibilities associated with being a maid of honor are different. Or perhaps you can afford to hire a wedding planner/coordinator to do everything on your behalf. I'm not in that situation, and she has been helping me quite a bit so I don't have to try to do everything by myself. Not to mention, she is really excited about working with the matron of honor to throw a bridal shower and bachelorette party for me.

    Judgmental much?
    Nope, nope, nope.

    Where is your FI? Can he not help? The only people responsible for helping with your wedding are you and your FI. Your bridesmaids are not employees and should not be treated as such.

    Also, I have a 2.5 year old and trying to get him in a wagon long enough that he didn't want to climb out is a chore. He can unbuckle those straps too...little monkey. If the kids aren't old enough to walk down the aisle under their own steam, they aren't old enough to be in your wedding, and yep, they are just props.
    InLoveInQueensPrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2015
    Hey, I'm trying to help. You appear to be unaware that people can show happiness without stating so verbally. There are lots of ways people show emotions and perhaps, if you didn't know before, learning about it could be helpful for you (general you).

    Newsflash: People can disagree with you without their emotional state having anything to do with it.

    Second newsflash: It's not up to you to decide what other people's emotions should be.  When you are actually living their lives, you can decide that.  Until then, back off and keep your fucking judgments about their emotions to yourself. 


    image

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    Hey, I'm trying to help. You appear to be unaware that people can show happiness without stating so verbally. There are lots of ways people show emotions and perhaps, if you didn't know before, learning about it could be helpful for you (general you).

    Newsflash: People can disagree with you without their emotional state having anything to do with it.

    Second newsflash: It's not up to you to decide what other people's emotions should be.  When you are actually living their lives, you can decide that.  Until then, back off and keep your fucking judgments about their emotions to yourself. 


    image

    I think you're misreading what I said. I simply stated that words are not the only way to convey an emotion. I never told you, or anyone else, what their emotions should be, nor did I even disagree with you on this thread. 

    Here is, yet another, great example of you grasping at ridiculous straws. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Hey, I'm trying to help. You appear to be unaware that people can show happiness without stating so verbally. There are lots of ways people show emotions and perhaps, if you didn't know before, learning about it could be helpful for you (general you).

    Newsflash: People can disagree with you without their emotional state having anything to do with it.

    Second newsflash: It's not up to you to decide what other people's emotions should be.  When you are actually living their lives, you can decide that.  Until then, back off and keep your fucking judgments about their emotions to yourself. 


    image

    I think you're misreading what I said. I simply stated that words are not the only way to convey an emotion. I never told you, or anyone else, what their emotions should be, nor did I even disagree with you on this thread. 

    Here is, yet another, great example of you grasping at ridiculous straws. 
    Bullshit.  You've been doing that throughout this thread and accusing me right here.  You've been doing all the misreading.
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