October 2015 Weddings

Crunch-Time Blues

My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
(formerly rusticbride27)

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Re: Crunch-Time Blues

  • It will all be ok!

    Sorry for your loss, are you honoring him in any way? Or is it too soon for a little reminder for your self?

    The ring is fixable, it isn't a big deal if it doesn't fit quite right, is it too big or too small?

    I think I have had nightmares about the wedding for the last few months.. People ruining it, stuff not making it to the venues, No one showing up..

    It will all be just fine. :)
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  • I am so sorry for your loss, I know that is only compounded with the upcoming wedding. 

    With feeling sick, definitely if you can take a night off from the wedding planning/organizing/finalizing - and take some Emergency - C!

    Your wedding will be beautiful! As long as you and FI get married on that day, it's already perfect. Everything else is icing on the cake. 

    Also, a gospel-singing Rhetta sounds like a pretty amazing officiant :) 
    ryanandjoe4
  • @rusticbride27 - I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't imagine going through that so close to the wedding.  Hoping you can find some comfort in the fact that he knew you were about to be married to the love of your life and are happy.  My beloved grandfather passed away the first year FI and I were dating, and I so wish he were going to be here with me.  I am wearing one of his tie pins that he wore all the time pinned onto the inside of my gown.  Maybe there is something of his you can carry with you on the day?

    FI's wedding ring doesn't fit either!  He has skinny fingers but wide knuckles, so it just fits over his knuckle but is huge on his finger so it keeps sliding/spinning around.  Apparently they something called Ring Snuggies - we are going to pick one up this week.  If your FI's ring is too big, maybe that will work?

    I also got sick last week!  I highly recommend Zicam.  Tons of zinc and it god rid of my cold in 4 days (mine usually hang around for weeks!).  Lots of water, rest, soup.  

    I have been having wedding nightmares constantly.  They are awful.  I show up late and not ready, someone brings 10 random friends with them, there's no food, etc etc.  I notice that as I finish things on my to-do list, they become less frequent and intense.

    All this to say.... a) you're NOT alone!!!  and b) you are going to have a beautiful day.  None of those things above are going to change that.  You will reach a certain point this week where you're just going to start saying "fuck it" to things that don't really matter, and the stress will fall away (I'm almost there too!).  You will get married, it will be amazing, and you will be HAPPY.  That's all that matters.


    ryanandjoe4
  • My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

    I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

    Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
    I would love this to happen. Can I arrange for her to come gospel-sing my wedding? We have 5 days to get it done people. 

    Your wedding is going to be amazing because you'll be married at the end of it! I know how you feel. As I said, I'm 5 days out and don't even have my marriage license (arguably the most important thing I can have). 

    Your grandfather passing is not a little thing and you should definitely take your time to mourn him. All the other things, just let it go. You're only going to be engaged a little bit longer so take what time you have left to enjoy it and remember why you are getting married. That might be what's causing you to get sick, too. 

  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

    I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

    Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
    I would love this to happen. Can I arrange for her to come gospel-sing my wedding? We have 5 days to get it done people. 

    Your wedding is going to be amazing because you'll be married at the end of it! I know how you feel. As I said, I'm 5 days out and don't even have my marriage license (arguably the most important thing I can have). 

    Your grandfather passing is not a little thing and you should definitely take your time to mourn him. All the other things, just let it go. You're only going to be engaged a little bit longer so take what time you have left to enjoy it and remember why you are getting married. That might be what's causing you to get sick, too. 
    That has been the most surprisingly easy thing, it took all of 5 minutes, but our county let us apply online and then sign and pick it up. never has working with a government office so easy.. 

    EDT: it may be to early for words..
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  • My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

    I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

    Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
    I would love this to happen. Can I arrange for her to come gospel-sing my wedding? We have 5 days to get it done people. 

    Your wedding is going to be amazing because you'll be married at the end of it! I know how you feel. As I said, I'm 5 days out and don't even have my marriage license (arguably the most important thing I can have). 

    Your grandfather passing is not a little thing and you should definitely take your time to mourn him. All the other things, just let it go. You're only going to be engaged a little bit longer so take what time you have left to enjoy it and remember why you are getting married. That might be what's causing you to get sick, too. 
    That has been the most surprisingly easy thing, it took all of 5 minutes, but our county let us apply online and then sign and pick it up. never has working with a government office so easy.. 

    EDT: it may be to early for words..
    I seriously hope that is true for us, too. We just honestly don't have time. He got home at 4am from work; I'm at work now. He works from 10am today until after the gov't has closed and it's the same with tomorrow. Thursday and Friday are the only days. It's so hard when we have such different schedules. I 


  • My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

    I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

    Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
    I would love this to happen. Can I arrange for her to come gospel-sing my wedding? We have 5 days to get it done people. 

    Your wedding is going to be amazing because you'll be married at the end of it! I know how you feel. As I said, I'm 5 days out and don't even have my marriage license (arguably the most important thing I can have). 

    Your grandfather passing is not a little thing and you should definitely take your time to mourn him. All the other things, just let it go. You're only going to be engaged a little bit longer so take what time you have left to enjoy it and remember why you are getting married. That might be what's causing you to get sick, too. 
    That has been the most surprisingly easy thing, it took all of 5 minutes, but our county let us apply online and then sign and pick it up. never has working with a government office so easy.. 

    EDT: it may be to early for words..
    I seriously hope that is true for us, too. We just honestly don't have time. He got home at 4am from work; I'm at work now. He works from 10am today until after the gov't has closed and it's the same with tomorrow. Thursday and Friday are the only days. It's so hard when we have such different schedules. I 
    yes we had to take an afternoon off, our office was open until 4:00, that was inconvenient in its self, but then said "we do not issue license after 3:45" we pulled up at 3:40, lucky to find a close spot downtown Cincinnati, and was out by 3:45.. with a big sigh of relief.. Even the officer working the metal detector said you better run...
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  • My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

    I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

    Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
    I would love this to happen. Can I arrange for her to come gospel-sing my wedding? We have 5 days to get it done people. 

    Your wedding is going to be amazing because you'll be married at the end of it! I know how you feel. As I said, I'm 5 days out and don't even have my marriage license (arguably the most important thing I can have). 

    Your grandfather passing is not a little thing and you should definitely take your time to mourn him. All the other things, just let it go. You're only going to be engaged a little bit longer so take what time you have left to enjoy it and remember why you are getting married. That might be what's causing you to get sick, too. 
    That has been the most surprisingly easy thing, it took all of 5 minutes, but our county let us apply online and then sign and pick it up. never has working with a government office so easy.. 

    EDT: it may be to early for words..
    I seriously hope that is true for us, too. We just honestly don't have time. He got home at 4am from work; I'm at work now. He works from 10am today until after the gov't has closed and it's the same with tomorrow. Thursday and Friday are the only days. It's so hard when we have such different schedules. I 
    I'm sure you've done your research on this but just throwing it out there... double check to make sure your county/state doesn't have a waiting period.  In Massachusetts you have to go in person (both of you), apply for the license, then come back in 3 business days to pick it up.  I'm sure other states are a bit more lenient/easy but we had to make sure to fit it in a couple weeks ahead to be safe.  We also had to leave work early to do it.  So inconvenient but kiiind of the most important piece of the wedding so we sucked it up.  Good luck!!!


    ryanandjoe4[Deleted User]
  • My grandpa passed away, FI's wedding ring doesn't fit, money's running super tight, I am getting sick, and I'm second-guessing my hair and makeup. :( 

    I had a nightmare that everything went wrong, the flowers went missing, and my officiant flaked and was replaced by a gospel-singing Rhetta (Donna from Parks & Rec).

    Someone tell me my wedding is going to be great. I am hyperventilating. Someone please reaffirm me.
    I would love this to happen. Can I arrange for her to come gospel-sing my wedding? We have 5 days to get it done people. 

    Your wedding is going to be amazing because you'll be married at the end of it! I know how you feel. As I said, I'm 5 days out and don't even have my marriage license (arguably the most important thing I can have). 

    Your grandfather passing is not a little thing and you should definitely take your time to mourn him. All the other things, just let it go. You're only going to be engaged a little bit longer so take what time you have left to enjoy it and remember why you are getting married. That might be what's causing you to get sick, too. 
    That has been the most surprisingly easy thing, it took all of 5 minutes, but our county let us apply online and then sign and pick it up. never has working with a government office so easy.. 

    EDT: it may be to early for words..
    I seriously hope that is true for us, too. We just honestly don't have time. He got home at 4am from work; I'm at work now. He works from 10am today until after the gov't has closed and it's the same with tomorrow. Thursday and Friday are the only days. It's so hard when we have such different schedules. I 
    I'm sure you've done your research on this but just throwing it out there... double check to make sure your county/state doesn't have a waiting period.  In Massachusetts you have to go in person (both of you), apply for the license, then come back in 3 business days to pick it up.  I'm sure other states are a bit more lenient/easy but we had to make sure to fit it in a couple weeks ahead to be safe.  We also had to leave work early to do it.  So inconvenient but kiiind of the most important piece of the wedding so we sucked it up.  Good luck!!!
    They do, but if you take 8 hours of counseling they waive the waiting period. Thank god! It's 72 hours so we would be in trouble. He's waiting tables right now before he starts his career so they won't let him off early for it. It's stupid. Otherwise, I would have made him go with me yesterday just make sure! 

  • edited September 2015
    It will all be ok! Sorry for your loss, are you honoring him in any way? Or is it too soon for a little reminder for your self? The ring is fixable, it isn't a big deal if it doesn't fit quite right, is it too big or too small? I think I have had nightmares about the wedding for the last few months.. People ruining it, stuff not making it to the venues, No one showing up.. It will all be just fine. :)
    Sorry I've been silent, everyone! It's been a busy few days and I haven't been on much. I will be doing a few things to honor him, but nothing too big... it does feel very soon and I don't want to make it feel like two full weekends in a row of memorial services. First, I had a tattoo done for him on my forearm which will be visible on my wedding day. I also had bracelets custom-made for me, my sister, my mom, and my gram. They look like Alex and Ani bracelets, but solid yellow gold, and the charm is engraved with his handwriting. They're so beautiful, and I can't wait to give them to my family on the morning of my wedding. I'm also attaching one of his fishing lures (dulled!) to my bouquet. My fiance will be playing "What A Wonderful World" on guitar to honor our departed loved ones, including his mom, cousin, and aunt.

    Now we're just worried about money and rain. :( We were really counting on a bonus check that was coming this week from my fiance's employer... and we were just notified that it will be coming a day late. Which means it may not clear in time for the wedding. When it rains, it pours...

    Maybe gospel-singing Rhetta wouldn't be such a bad idea...

    ETA: OH! And the ring. It's too small... we had him fitted for a comfort-fit ring when what we ordered was a flat-fit ring. Turns out the difference is significant. We ordered a cheap stainless steel stand-in while we're getting the first one replaced (can't be resized... inlaid wood), but the jeweler has graciously agreed to let us use the wood ring for pictures on our wedding day, and then we will be sending it back. 
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    ryanandjoe4
  • Oh, and here's a picture of my bracelet and my tattoo!
    (formerly rusticbride27)

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    ryanandjoe4kasasr1024

  • Oh, and here's a picture of my bracelet and my tattoo!
    This is exactly what I want to do, I am not sure what tattoo that I want to get to represent my dad though. I have been trying to figure it out for a while now.. I love the bracelet, it is simple but meaningful!

    I have seen all the old clothes sewn in to the dress, and these little touches, I wish I had something to do that with for my dad, but we don't have anything left of his, he died 19 years ago.


    All will work out, most people understand if you explain to them that you got paid later than expected for something.. and rain is good luck, I think it may rain next weekend for ours too, so I am continuing to tell myself that..


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  • The blues are shaken, my wedding day is here, and I'm SO EXCITED! Thanks for all your help and moral support, ladies! I'll be back with a post-wedding update!
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    tngirl409manillabarkasasr1024
  • SO excited for you @rusticbride27!  Congratulations!!
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