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Etiquette

Gift giving Q

So, I have an friend getting married. We've never been close, and I wasn't invited. However, one of my best friends is in the wedding party and has asked me to be his guest for the wedding.

Since we're not a couple (I'll be leaving my FI at home), should I
(a) bring my own card and gift (check),
(b) coordinate with my date for the night, or
(c) just leave everything to him because his name was the one on the invite?

I've done the 3rd when I've never met the married couple before, and the second when I was invited as part of a couple, but I'm leaning toward the first this time.

Re: Gift giving Q

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would bring my own card/gift, but might not give as much as if  I was giving a gift for both DH and I as a couple.

     My SIL and BIL each brought friends who knew DH to our wedding. Both of them gave a separate card which I thought was really sweet.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would give your own card or gift.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • When I'm just a date I don't bring my own gift, I leave that to my date. If I know the couple I bring a card, if I don't know them I leave everything to my date. In this case I'd write a nice card out but no gift.
    InLoveInQueens
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    AddieCake said:

    I would give your own card or gift.

    This.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    It's really up to you. No one ever has to give a gift at a wedding. I would never expect a gift from a plus one anyway. I've only been a plus one (true plus one, not with my bf/husband) once, and it was the same situation as you. Friendly with the bride, but not close enough to warrant my own invitation. I went with my roommate as her plus one. I gave the bride and groom a card and a small gift from their registry.

    My husband and I have an agreement that if it's my friends or family, I take care of the gift, and if it's his he does.
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    SP29
  • It's really up to you. No one ever has to give a gift at a wedding. I would never expect a gift from a plus one anyway. I've only been a plus one (true plus one, not with my bf/husband) once, and it was the same situation as you. Friendly with the bride, but not close enough to warrant my own invitation. I went with my roommate as her plus one. I gave the bride and groom a card and a small gift from their registry.

    My husband and I have an agreement that if it's my friends or family, I take care of the gift, and if it's his he does.
    This, My FI's best man got married when we first starting dating and FI was his BM. I did ask him if he got them anything, he did it was a great gift, and I left it up to him. I didn't know them it was the first time I met them.. we are all friends now and live two houses down from each other. with us getting married now I don't expect gifts from every single guest especially +1's.. I know it isn't A "date" but your are technically his "date".. as a matter of fact I know one family that has grown kids (my cousins that still live at home) like 22-25 years old kids.. I am positive it will be one gift from all 7 people in that group, and I am completely fine with that..
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Because you know the couple, I vote either A or B. Whichever you're more comfortable with. 

    If you didn't know the couple at all, I'd vote C. 
    ________________________________


    SP29
  • Agreed with @thisismynickname

    I would not expect a separate gift/card from a "plus one". But since you know the B&G I would give something, whatever you are comfortable with. 
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