I need some unbiased advice, because my family is not helping!

MegEn1

anniewalkerx said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

OliveOilsMom said:

H & I had a Catholic ceremony, so our vows were set in stone with no variations allowed.  So we wrote each other a letter that we read in the morning when we woke up on our wedding day.  So that is where all our mushy stuff was written and no one else knows what we said.  Now, we weren't together the morning of our wedding, so we read the letters alone, but we still saved the mushy stuff for when no one else was around.

I prefer the more traditional vows at a wedding, I don't want to know anything more specific about how much you love each other.  We get it, you are getting married!  I would hope you both love each other, if you are getting married.

Yes!

Super personal, saccharine, vows are uncomfortable to listen to.  They make me feel like I'm eavesdropping.

Looks like this is an UO, but personalized vows are actually one of my favorite things about a wedding. Sure, I'll cringe if they are overly saccharine or unrealistic - "I promise I will make you coffee every morning," ugh, you're going to break that vow TOMORROW when you're in a hotel and you don't have a coffee maker.

But, some of my favorite memories of my friends weddings were the sweet, more specific things they said during the ceremony. Especially if I don't know their partner very well, it gives me a small glimpse into the union I'm there to witness, and it makes me happier to celebrate it as well.

Normally I hate personalized vows but one of our friends (who is loud and obnoxious and drunk all the time so it was a huge surprise to hear him be so sweet and eloquent without droping a single f-bomb) had vows that were basically like 'I love the way you do X simple thing.' And it progressed to 'I'll always love when you do X kinda humorously annoying thing' and it ended with 'And I won't forget when I love you when you do X super obnoxious thing.' It was the only time I've ever had a personal vow thing that really worked. It can go really good or reallllyyyyyy bad. 

JediElizabeth

anniewalkerx said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

OliveOilsMom said:

H & I had a Catholic ceremony, so our vows were set in stone with no variations allowed.  So we wrote each other a letter that we read in the morning when we woke up on our wedding day.  So that is where all our mushy stuff was written and no one else knows what we said.  Now, we weren't together the morning of our wedding, so we read the letters alone, but we still saved the mushy stuff for when no one else was around.

I prefer the more traditional vows at a wedding, I don't want to know anything more specific about how much you love each other.  We get it, you are getting married!  I would hope you both love each other, if you are getting married.

Yes!

Super personal, saccharine, vows are uncomfortable to listen to.  They make me feel like I'm eavesdropping.

Looks like this is an UO, but personalized vows are actually one of my favorite things about a wedding. Sure, I'll cringe if they are overly saccharine or unrealistic - "I promise I will make you coffee every morning," ugh, you're going to break that vow TOMORROW when you're in a hotel and you don't have a coffee maker.

But, some of my favorite memories of my friends weddings were the sweet, more specific things they said during the ceremony. Especially if I don't know their partner very well, it gives me a small glimpse into the union I'm there to witness, and it makes me happier to celebrate it as well.

I agree...I tend to cringe when I hear traditional vows, because the ones I've heard haven't always scrubbed out the misogyny. (No, I could never vow to "obey" my FI. Yeah fucking right. He'd probably burst out laughing if I even tried to.) I love most personal vows though. Maybe I've just been lucky enough to have thoughtful, eloquent friends getting married, but I can't remember hearing any that have made me cringe.