Give it to me straight - Am I committing any massive faux pas?

Fuchsiavision

Hello everyone - I'm a tad nervous about laying my "plans" out for you ladies as I know you won't hold back. However, I'd rather face your wrath now than deal with any fallout / embarrassment later on!

Please bear in mind that I have time to change these plans so nothing other than the time of the ceremony is set in stone.

This is a destination wedding in Las Vegas.

A welcome / rehearsal dinner will take place the day before the wedding. This will be for everyone - we are thinking Aria / Wicked Spoon Buffet with alcohol. Naturally we will be picking up the tab.

Day of: We have a PH suite approx 5 mins travel from ceremony location.

18:00 - Pre ceremony cocktail party with light bites / hors d'oeuvres in suite.

18:50 - Bride leaves for Ceremony due to hotel requirements

19:30 - Transportation for guests & Groom to Ceremony location

20:00 Hotel requires guests to be in "holding position" on site

20:30 Wedding Ceremony

21:00 Photos - 45 minutes booked

21:20 Transport guests back to suite where there will be cocktails waiting

21:45 B&G return to suite

22:00 Buffet / Drinks / Dancing in suite (I will be hiring a bar tender.)

After party  - head down to the casino / club. Probably casino knowing our guest list.      

Ok  - so what are my issues / concerns / pitfalls that I need to be aware of?

The ceremony is the earliest they do at that location - which of course I fell in love with, as I love to make things difficult for myself ;-)

Do your worst ladies - Thanks in advance!

JediElizabeth

Am I getting this right? You're inviting your guests to meet you at 6 PM for a 2 hours of hors d'oeuvres, which you will be at for the first half hour. Then they have to be at the venue at 8 PM for an 8:30 ceremony. Then you'll bring them back to the hotel, for more cocktails, followed by a 10 PM dinner/dancing/etc. 

I assume since most of this is in the suite itself, you're having a very small destination wedding, and all your guests are good with a very late buffet dinner. That would be my biggest concern; dinner at 10 seems very late for a wedding to me, but if you only have the type of crowd who will be partying or gambling until 3am or later, this isn't such a big deal.

Also, why does the venue want guests in their seats for half an hour before the ceremony? That seems odd (and rude), and I'd push back against it. If all your guests show up together, they shouldn't be required to sit around for half an hour waiting. If it's a requirement, I'd make sure that they have drinks or something available during the wait. 

redoryx

JediElizabeth said:

Am I getting this right? You're inviting your guests to meet you at 6 PM for a 2 hours of hors d'oeuvres, which you will be at for the first half hour. Then they have to be at the venue at 8 PM for an 8:30 ceremony. Then you'll bring them back to the hotel, for more cocktails, followed by a 10 PM dinner/dancing/etc. 

I assume since most of this is in the suite itself, you're having a very small destination wedding, and all your guests are good with a very late buffet dinner. That would be my biggest concern; dinner at 10 seems very late for a wedding to me, but if you only have the type of crowd who will be partying or gambling until 3am or later, this isn't such a big deal.

Also, why does the venue want guests in their seats for half an hour before the ceremony? That seems odd (and rude), and I'd push back against it. If all your guests show up together, they shouldn't be required to sit around for half an hour waiting. If it's a requirement, I'd make sure that they have drinks or something available during the wait. 

All of the above. Plus I'm confused about the transport after the ceremony. Is 9:20 when they arrive back at the hotel or when they're getting picked up? If you're doing pictures starting at 9, what are your guests doing? Also, you're only serving cocktails and they won't have anything to eat until 10 pm? 

SP29

My biggest concern is that your guests have to wait for half an hour prior to the ceremony being "held". This is where I would have some drinks/apps.

Does your cocktail "hour" need to start so early? Do guests need to come right away? Myself, I'd still come at 6pm as long as you feed me ( ) but others might find it odd to spend 2 hours in a cocktail reception before the ceremony, then another cocktail reception, then the dinner reception. 

Fuchsiavision

@ JediElizabeth

I am proposing that they come to meet at 18;00 - basically so that we are able to provide some refreshment prior to the ceremony. One other reason, that I failed to mention, is that the Groom has some younger siblings (3 and 5) who he would like to "come to the party" before they head off to their 'vegas sleepover' with the babysitter.

The hotel requires the Bride to be on site for 19:00 - which I think is ridiculous - but wasn't truly aware that I could push back on these type of details.

The Groom is required to be there for 19:45

Guests 20:00

From your response I'm gathering that this is not "normal" so I will negotiate the above points and if I encounter resistance I'll steal your suggestion of champagne.

You are correct it will be an "in-suite" reception with approx 25 / 30 guests. All Europeans and all used to eating late - so although it is a little later than I would have liked - it is acceptable - also I do see this going on until 3 / 4 am.

Thanks!

Fuchsiavision

@redoryx & SP29

21:20 would be "pick up" so they would be back at the suite for 21:25 / 30.

Guests would be with us having photos in the ceremony location for 10 / 15 minutes prior to being picked up. Do you think this feasible?

Re 6pm - the idea was primarily to provide some refreshment and for the kids (see above) to experience a portion of their brother's wedding party. Whilst allowing them to have their own party too. There will be "light" snacks / hors d'oeuvres at this time.

It does sound like a lot of cocktails.... I will have to think on that.

Thanks ladies - keep them coming!

SP29

I'm OK with the picture/travel time after, as long as they are involved in the pictures.

Requiring the bride, and then groom, to show up at a certain time is weird to me. Like why? 

I think I showed up half an hour before the ceremony started, where I then stood and waited at the back of the ceremony space in a small hallway. I would've poked out my eyes if I had to be there an hour early! 

STARMOON44

What is this location? I think it's very rude to make them show up an hour early. Have it somewhere else! Maybe somewhere that doesn't require dinner at 10.

Fuchsiavision

The more I think on it - the more I see how you ladies are correct - this is going to need a major push back. Thanks for the feedback on this.

For my job I count in seconds.... So having to wait an hour / 90mins will most likely be excruciating - and not the sort of torture I should submit to on the day of my wedding.

SP29

I don't have a problem with a 10pm dinner per se, but I do think it is a bit odd paired with such an early cocktail reception. Generally, as a guest I would assume to show up at your ceremony for an 8:30 pm ceremony, travel to the venue for cocktails and then eat dinner. As long as I knew the timeline, I would plan my earlier meals accordingly. 

I think there are a few options: 

1) Get rid of the pre-ceremony cocktail reception (although I get the children aspect)

2) Start the pre-ceremony cocktail reception at 7pm, then everyone travels to the ceremony site at 8pm

3) Have dinner start right after your ceremony- this would affect your photo timeline, but could you do your photos before the ceremony? 

I might also include an insert with your invitations that clearly gives your timeline so guests know when and where they are eating and what times. 

lc07

I love the idea of a cocktail/app reception prior to the ceremony. We did this for our wedding and it was a hit. We had drinks and apps available half an hour pre-ceremony and my (now ex) H and I were there to greet guests and mingle as people arrived before the ceremony started. In our situation, guests were aware of the ceremony start time, as well as the pre-ceremony reception which in our case was completely optional - guests could arrive any time to our wedding per our venue and per our invitation.

Can you do your pre-ceremony get together at the ceremony venue instead of in your hotel suite? That way you can make the ceremony venue happy with the ridiculously early requested arrival time for guests and the two of you as well as accommodate your wishes for a pre-ceremony event?

Fuchsiavision

@Ic07 - 

Oooo I like it  - shifting the location is a great call and it also gives the option of taking some photos prior to the ceremony.

It also gives the option of pre ceremony photos as suggested by SP29..... This could work!

Thank you ladies!

fyrchk

How far away are the sites from each other? I know when we went to Vegas, it took us almost half an hour to go from one hotel to the one like two hotels down when we drove. Maybe they are setting those times KNOWING you will be late?

Just a thought. Can't think of any other reason.

VicTim328

PP have most of it covered.

Just some consideration to time zones/ time changes.  If your guests are arriving from Europe the day before the wedding, these times could be hard on jet lag.  Pair it with alcohol, and it could end up being an early night for many guests who would normally be up for late night festivities.

zitiqueen

We have a PH suite approx 5 mins travel from ceremony location.

LOL. Is your ceremony at the elevator bank at PH?

[Deleted User]

Love that you are providing transportation for your guests to and from the ceremony location. Your guests will appreciate that.