What the what?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
My only child recently started kindergarten. Things are tight financially because I’m out of work. Since school started, we have contributed our share of communal classroom supplies, paid for two field trips, chipped in for the teacher’s birthday gift, and given to the school’s food pantry. Additionally, we receive solicitations to raise money for the school several times a week, including two current fundraisers where they expect us to ask family, friends, and co-workers to donate. I draw the line at this. My sister’s child just started a different school. She has sent out emails to our extended family asking for donations for her daughter. I responded that we have been hit with multiple requests at our own school but that I’d give her daughter a small check. Another relative responded that she donates for her own kids. Others were silent. My sister is now furious that our family is unsupportive of her kids. How are we going to navigate the next 12 years as these kids fundraise their way through their educations? My sister is very sensitive and prickly, and I am already dreading our next family gathering. 

—Tapped Out

PMeg819

Where the hell are these kids going to school? I know we do fundraising at our school and our state spends a laughable amount on education, but I have never seen so many requests for money.

MesmrEwe

She needs to get over herself real quick - set her line and keep her line...  I hit the point where I wrote out a check and told my niece essentially "keep the crap - this check is more than you'd get in money raised - do you need me to run to Sam's for the $5 big bag of gummy bears you'd have otherwise gotten if I'd have purchased crap?"

What REALLY amazes me, we moved DD to a new school this year unexpectedly - and the fundraising demands are SO small compared to the schools she's been at in the past, AND, the school she's at now is smaller with less resources but makes the most of what they've got.  We're probably going to save along the lines of $5-7000 in fundraising requirements - no joke! 

6fsn

I do a happy dance for our school fundraiser- goal is each kid gets $40 in donations for a walk a thon.  They have quarter raffles at lunch then walk around the school one afternoon.  Raffle prizes are things like an extra recess, lunch with the guidance counselor, lunch in the library, extra PE, extra art, and then there is one donut party.  That's it for the year. 

Preschool does a similar thing without the raffles and a goal of only $20.

VarunaTT

In a city next to me, the school board actually passed rules limiting the fundraisers b/c local businesses and parents were complaining about how many there were.  I have my thoughts on why it's happening but that's not relevant.

She's going to need to draw a line with Sis.  "Sorry, I can't do that."  And that's going to be enough.

*Barbie*

I draw the line at soliciting donations for school, and am annoyed when coworkers do it. Our (not exactly cheap) private school/daycare occasionally does some of those buy candles/wrapping paper/candy fundraisers. That annoys me too - we're already paying a lot for school, don't try to sell me garbage/ask me to sell garbage to my neighbors on top of it.  

(my one exception is girl scout cookies. i will buy those every year.)

ChelleJayne

My nephews and Godsons normally have about 2 fundraisers a year. That's 12 fundraisers. I told my sisters and best friend that when I have kids it will be payback time.

NOLABridesmaid

I tell the kids that I will buy something from the first kid that asks. I get hit up all day long when there is one going on. My top favs are the chocolate almonds, and cookie dough. I've started to give the cookie dough away because the tubs are too big.

Heffalump

*Barbie* said:

I draw the line at soliciting donations for school, and am annoyed when coworkers do it. Our (not exactly cheap) private school/daycare occasionally does some of those buy candles/wrapping paper/candy fundraisers. That annoys me too - we're already paying a lot for school, don't try to sell me garbage/ask me to sell garbage to my neighbors on top of it.  

(my one exception is girl scout cookies. i will buy those every year.)

Yeah, whenever DC has a "fundraiser" DH and I roll our eyes mightily at each other.  We're like "That tuition increase this year?  There's your fundraiser."

Our school system is awesome, though.  No wrapping paper, no stupid shit--we wrote the PTA a check for their "Soaring to Sucess" fundraiser at the beginning of the year, and then they have some kind of fun run and that's IT. 

baconsmom

I pay taxes. I don't do fundraisers. 

I wouldn't "do" sister, either, if she's that much of a special snowflakey bitch.