Snarky Brides

But, like, could I send this one person an invoice?

I know there is a thread about the couple who sent an invoice to guests who RSVP'd yes and then were no shows to a wedding. Obviously, that is super rude. And, frankly, it doesn't make a lot of sense, you wouldn't invoice the people who showed up and ate the food, why would you invoice the people who didn't show up and didn't eat the food? When you have a wedding you need to be prepared that you are basically flushing money down a drain. No guest is responsible for reimbursing your choices. 

However, we do have this super rude person in our friend group who I am super irritated with. To make a long story short, she works for an event planner in town and thinks she knows all things wedding. She is helping some friends of ours plan their wedding and from what I can tell is pushing them to spend more than what they have, do a cash registry, etc. Blech. She also, in front of my husband, was explaining how important it is to get RSVP's so you have the right count for the caterer and how frustrating it is when people don't RSVP or don't show. 

HILARIOUS. 

Why? Because, to try to make a long story short, this girl is not super close with us but is in our circle and therefore she and her SO were invited to our wedding. When she first got the STD she basically told me she wouldn't be attending because she had a much nicer and more expensive wedding she was working that weekend. Bitch please, you don't need to flash a stranger's $50k budget in my face, you can just tell me you have to work that night. 

Then, as the wedding got closer she verbally RSVP'd and un-RSVP'd for her and her SO like three times. "Oh, SO is coming, but I can't" "Oh, neither of us can come", etc. Her conclusive decision, AFTER THE RSVP DEADLINE, when I asked her to just tell me one way or the other, was that she and her SO were planning to attend our wedding, but would miss the ceremony due to the other fancier wedding. Ok, fine, so we included them in our count for the caterer. 

They both no showed and never said anything about it. I don't need details or an explanation, but it's still pretty rude to not show up and not at least send me a text or a card saying, "hey, sorry we missed it, congrats". 

It's probably for the best that I didn't overhear her lecturing people on the importance of accurate RSVP's because I don't know if I could have held back how pissed she makes me. 
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Re: But, like, could I send this one person an invoice?

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    fyrchk said:

    Ugh. I would totally want to. Or make a snarky comment if I overheard her saying something like, "Yeah, it sucks when people no-show. It's rude."

    But, I'm also that person who has elaborate retorts AFTER the fact.

    Since it sounds like you will cross paths with Ms. Obnoxious again, I'd find a way to slip in fyrchk's response if wedding stuff comes up!  

    What a bitch. Put it in the burn book, honey. 
    ________________________________


    lpeanut0610frenchiekinkimmiinthemitten
  • fyrchk said:

    Ugh. I would totally want to. Or make a snarky comment if I overheard her saying something like, "Yeah, it sucks when people no-show. It's rude."

    But, I'm also that person who has elaborate retorts AFTER the fact.

    Since it sounds like you will cross paths with Ms. Obnoxious again, I'd find a way to slip in fyrchk's response if wedding stuff comes up!  

    What a bitch. Put it in the burn book, honey. 
    fyrchk said. 

    The scary thing is that as an event planner this girl is out there giving advice to unsuspecting wedding consumers. We are all doomed. 
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    kimmiinthemitten
  • Uggggh.  I feel you OP.  I think I've mentioned before that I have a "friend" with a history of obnoxious behavior who is single, was invited solo, and RSVPed to my wedding with an uninvited guest.  We decided to let it go and let her bring somebody, and after asking her several times who she was planning on bringing (she literally RSVPed for "NAME and guest"), she finally told me she was bringing her sister.  Sigh.  Fine.  Whatever.

    The day of the wedding comes and she texts two of my bridesmaids with a lame excuse as to why she can't come.  She AND her uninvited guest no-showed, and I wound up paying for two plates of uneaten food instead of just one.  Meanwhile, she has said NOTHING to me since before the wedding.  In the three months since the wedding, there have been no calls, no texts, certainly no card or gift -- not even a Facebook message.  Radio silence.

    So in any event, this "friend" is now a former friend in my book, and I certainly share your temptation to pull the invoice move.  At the very least, I'd like to send her one of those envelopes full of glitter.  But I won't, because the decent human being in me knows that I should just let it go and move on.  Not being an asshole sucks sometimes.
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    It's not totally the same, but this one still makes me a little mad/sad. H and I met because we have each have a HS friends who met the other's friend during college. H's friend was the BM in the wedding. My HS friend moved to Ireland and married an Irish guy shortly after H and I started dating.

    We sent them an invite, not expecting them to fly to America for our wedding. That would be expensive and I don't think they get back that often. But we haven't heard anything from them in the months since. No note, no card, we didn't even get an RSVP back. It's just sad that someone I was so close to (I was one of about 15 people at their ceremony) hasn't bothered to even send me a FB message about my wedding.
    image
  • anjemon said:
    It's not totally the same, but this one still makes me a little mad/sad. H and I met because we have each have a HS friends who met the other's friend during college. H's friend was the BM in the wedding. My HS friend moved to Ireland and married an Irish guy shortly after H and I started dating.

    We sent them an invite, not expecting them to fly to America for our wedding. That would be expensive and I don't think they get back that often. But we haven't heard anything from them in the months since. No note, no card, we didn't even get an RSVP back. It's just sad that someone I was so close to (I was one of about 15 people at their ceremony) hasn't bothered to even send me a FB message about my wedding.
    Are you sure they got your invite?  We had a few people that I thought just hadn't RSVP'd, and it turned out they never got our invite.  One of them we got returned to us... 2 weeks after the wedding.  The others... who knows where they ended up. 
    Married 9.12.15
    image
    ryanandjoe4wink0erin
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Uggggh.  I feel you OP.  I think I've mentioned before that I have a "friend" with a history of obnoxious behavior who is single, was invited solo, and RSVPed to my wedding with an uninvited guest.  We decided to let it go and let her bring somebody, and after asking her several times who she was planning on bringing (she literally RSVPed for "NAME and guest"), she finally told me she was bringing her sister.  Sigh.  Fine.  Whatever.

    The day of the wedding comes and she texts two of my bridesmaids with a lame excuse as to why she can't come.  She AND her uninvited guest no-showed, and I wound up paying for two plates of uneaten food instead of just one.  Meanwhile, she has said NOTHING to me since before the wedding.  In the three months since the wedding, there have been no calls, no texts, certainly no card or gift -- not even a Facebook message.  Radio silence.

    So in any event, this "friend" is now a former friend in my book, and I certainly share your temptation to pull the invoice move.  At the very least, I'd like to send her one of those envelopes full of glitter.  But I won't, because the decent human being in me knows that I should just let it go and move on.  Not being an asshole sucks sometimes.

    Birthday, Christmas, there's definitely a glitter envelope occasion coming up!
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    simcal18
  • missa011missa011 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    anjemon said:
    It's not totally the same, but this one still makes me a little mad/sad. H and I met because we have each have a HS friends who met the other's friend during college. H's friend was the BM in the wedding. My HS friend moved to Ireland and married an Irish guy shortly after H and I started dating.

    We sent them an invite, not expecting them to fly to America for our wedding. That would be expensive and I don't think they get back that often. But we haven't heard anything from them in the months since. No note, no card, we didn't even get an RSVP back. It's just sad that someone I was so close to (I was one of about 15 people at their ceremony) hasn't bothered to even send me a FB message about my wedding.
    Are you sure they got your invite?  We had a few people that I thought just hadn't RSVP'd, and it turned out they never got our invite.  One of them we got returned to us... 2 weeks after the wedding.  The others... who knows where they ended up. 
    Seriously…we had a few people not get invites at all, including a couple of FI's friends who live together but got sent invites separately because they both have SOs. One invite got there and the other didn't???????? And then we just got the second one back TODAY but sent them out last week of AUGUST. USPS…WAT.
  • missa011 said:
    anjemon said:
    It's not totally the same, but this one still makes me a little mad/sad. H and I met because we have each have a HS friends who met the other's friend during college. H's friend was the BM in the wedding. My HS friend moved to Ireland and married an Irish guy shortly after H and I started dating.

    We sent them an invite, not expecting them to fly to America for our wedding. That would be expensive and I don't think they get back that often. But we haven't heard anything from them in the months since. No note, no card, we didn't even get an RSVP back. It's just sad that someone I was so close to (I was one of about 15 people at their ceremony) hasn't bothered to even send me a FB message about my wedding.
    Are you sure they got your invite?  We had a few people that I thought just hadn't RSVP'd, and it turned out they never got our invite.  One of them we got returned to us... 2 weeks after the wedding.  The others... who knows where they ended up. 
    Seriously…we had a few people not get invites at all, including a couple of FI's friends who live together but got sent invites separately because they both have SOs. One invite got there and the other didn't???????? And then we just got the second one back TODAY but sent them out last week of AUGUST. USPS…WAT.
    The craziest part about the one we got back 2 weeks after the wedding (so read, 10 weeks after it was mailed) was the address it was sent to is literally like 5 miles from our house.  Somehow invites made it to other countries and to rural Montana... but not 5 miles from our house.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    missa011 said:
    anjemon said:
    It's not totally the same, but this one still makes me a little mad/sad. H and I met because we have each have a HS friends who met the other's friend during college. H's friend was the BM in the wedding. My HS friend moved to Ireland and married an Irish guy shortly after H and I started dating.

    We sent them an invite, not expecting them to fly to America for our wedding. That would be expensive and I don't think they get back that often. But we haven't heard anything from them in the months since. No note, no card, we didn't even get an RSVP back. It's just sad that someone I was so close to (I was one of about 15 people at their ceremony) hasn't bothered to even send me a FB message about my wedding.
    Are you sure they got your invite?  We had a few people that I thought just hadn't RSVP'd, and it turned out they never got our invite.  One of them we got returned to us... 2 weeks after the wedding.  The others... who knows where they ended up. 
    Seriously…we had a few people not get invites at all, including a couple of FI's friends who live together but got sent invites separately because they both have SOs. One invite got there and the other didn't???????? And then we just got the second one back TODAY but sent them out last week of AUGUST. USPS…WAT.
    I'm not sure they got their invite, but I hope they would have said something. I IM'd with her specifically to get their address and then made sure to mention that I didn't expect them to come because it was such a big trip. So I would hope she would say something if they didn't get their invitation. But who knows. I do know my uncle in England got his invite, but those are different countries.

    I wish there was some way to know if something didn't get delivered. I know I've mentioned this before, but we got a thank you note returned with only a scrap of return address a few weeks after they were sent out. I have no idea who didn't get their note and the little bit of text we can see isn't specific enough to figure it out. It's just frustrating because I don't want to be rude, but I also don't want to contact 100 people to see if they received their thank you note.
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  • I ended up calling/messaging everyone who didn't RSVP to make sure they got their invite, found out 3 didn't get theirs, and two had sent the RSVP and we didn't get that back.. so mail = not reliable..
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  • adk19 said:
    I ended up calling/messaging everyone who didn't RSVP to make sure they got their invite, found out 3 didn't get theirs, and two had sent the RSVP and we didn't get that back.. so mail = not reliable..
    Hey!  So speaking of unreliable mail... Today at work I got a stack of Return to Sender mail back.  Fine.  Normal thing.  But two pieces of mail that I got back return to sender were mailed out from my office and postmarked one on September 27, 2004, the other on January 29, 2004.  No, that's not a typo.  Not 2014, 2004.  Oh-Four.  Eleven fucking years these two pieces of mail have been at the post office.  Eleven YEARS!!!  Yeah, don't trust the USPS.
    That's so insane...
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