I've got a bit of a situation here that I'm not sure how to handle.
My younger sister (she's 25 and I'm 29) and I have never had a great relationship. We were cordial as kids, had our typical sibling quarrels, but as we grew up, we grew apart. To make a long story short, she chose the path of drugs and abusive relationships while I chose the path of getting my degree, making a life for myself with a great career and now a great man. I tried to be her sister and tried to help her as much as I could, but we had an event occur about a year and a half ago that I can't let go until she apologizes.
I have not had any contact with her since. She sent me a text to say congratulations on my engagement and suggested we talk, but when I replied saying thanks and sure, she disappeared again.
I've kinda moved on. Sure, I love my sister, but it's clear to me that she's not ready to have me in her life again and I've come to terms with the fact that she may not be at my wedding.
My mom on the other hand... hasn't. We have had a few conversations about it and I've told her what I need from my sister to feel ready to rebuild, but my mom chooses to ignore this. I had specifically said that I don't trust my sister and that if she were to come, there would be a set of rules (i.e., no guests, no drugs and she stays with my mom- since I don't trust her, this seems fair).
Recently, my mom pulled my MOH aside and asked her to convince me to invite my sister. She also told my MOH that she has already booked the hotel room for my sister and has already extended the verbal invite to her and her boyfriend.
I have a serious problem with this. One, it's mine and my fiance's day. Not anyone elses. We should get to decide who is there and who isn't. Two, I don't appreciate her meddling and trying to force a relationship between us. It makes me want a relationship even less!
Do I just give it up and let it happen? Or do I have the right to stand up for myself? How would I do that without hurting my mom? I'm terrified my sister will show up and be disrespectful and cause a scene- she really is a child in an adults body... A relationship can be fostered in the future when she decides to grow up, but I'm not ok faking it- and I don't believe that this should be centered around my wedding.