This is really just venting. My mother and I have had a very difficult relationship ever since I was little. It was great for a while then went downhill when she started spending more time with her boyfriend and his daughter (with her own kids, that now call my mother grandma......). She never wanted to do anything with me anymore because she always had plans with them. After feeling jealous and resentful for a bit, I finally got my big girl panties on and just let it go. When I got engaged, I thought she would want to repair our relationship so we could have fun planning a wedding together (I'm her only daughter). She hasn't been excited about this AT ALL. When I asked her what weekend worked best for her to spend a day with me and my aunt/her sister/our wedding planner, she said she was too busy because her weekends were booked with plans with her bf and his daughter/her kids. So we did wedding planning without her and now, two months later, she's still griping to my aunt that we planned my "entire" wedding without her. Ummm hello.... Was I supposed to sit around and wait for the wedding to get planned while she went out with her bf and couldn't even spare a few hours of one Sunday to help us? When I pointed that out she got huffy so any conversation shut down at that point. My venue hosted a vendor show earlier this week and I invited my mom, my MIL, and my aunt/wedding planner. My FI was also there. My mother pouted the ENTIRE time. When I was talking about dress shopping and how I wanted all three of them to come with me because I value all of their opinions, she didn't say anything. Now after I told my aunt about the appointment date/time, she told me my mother complained to her that she's being excluded from everything and my aunt suggested I go shopping just with my mother and no one else to make her feel more special. What. the. f**k. I am at a loss.
When I try to include her, she's too busy. My wedding is next October, so there's a lot of time since we have the big stuff booked, but seriously, she expects me to wait around until she can find the time to be involved? Why the hell are mothers such dramatic, whiny babies during this process? Don't they remember what they felt like?? I am so hurt and frustrated and resentful at this point. I wanted to have that stupid fairy tale wedding planning phase where the mother and daughter are inseparable and have so much fun with everything. She flies off the handle if I try to tell her what her behavior is doing to me. But I don't want to cut her off completely. I am so hating this entire wedding thing. I almost feel like calling it off so I don't have to deal with everyone's opinions, and my mother's self-inflicted hurt feelings. This is supposed to fun and exciting, not something I dread being bitched at about for the rest of my life.... Ugh... I just want to cry....Thanks anyone for reading.